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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408185">Wanting Was Enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoodwinkd/pseuds/hoodwinkd'>hoodwinkd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Canon Gay Character, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eris Redemption Arc, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Explicit Language, F/M, Family Fluff, Friendship, Illyrians, Inner Circle - Freeform, M/M, Mating Bond, Nonbinary Character, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, The Court of Nightmares (ACoTaR), let's dismantle the patriarchy slowly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:14:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoodwinkd/pseuds/hoodwinkd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Decades after the war with Hybern, Feyre and Rhysand have focused on building up the Night Court and raising their children in the relative peace. Their middle daughter, Carina, has some ideas of her own for improving her territory and making her mark on Prythian. As headstrong and powerful as she is, taking on the Court of Nightmares and Illyrian rebellions shouldn't be too much of an issue, if she could manage to ignore all her personal problems for a minute.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian, Original Female Character/Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. it's been waiting for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi AO3! I have never written a fanfiction before, so I'm excited and anxious to put this out there. Reviews are always appreciated, especially if something doesn't make sense or isn't explained well.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All credits to SJM for fantastic worldbuilding</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Landing on the correct balcony at the House of Wind took more focus and concentration than regular flying. As distracted as she was that afternoon, Carina Archeron should not have been surprised to find herself three windows east of her own room. Her older brother was quite surprised when she barged into his bedroom, however.</p><p>“Do you need something, or did you just need to make a dramatic entrance?” Gaveon asked after getting over his initial shock.</p><p>“Is that really how you greet your flesh and blood after three months?” Carina countered, vanishing her wings as she sauntered over to sit at the foot of his bed. “I’m happy to plan an even more dramatic entrance if you want.”</p><p>Gaveon grinned and stood up from his desk, turning away from the massive pile of papers sitting there. “Please don’t. It took me over an hour to get all the sand out of my hair after your last grand return.” He hugged her tightly, even if he wouldn’t admit how much he had missed her during her time away at the Winter Court.</p><p>Carina found herself close to tears as she ducked her head into her brother’s neck. She’d felt a sense of dread the entire trip back that only grew when dealing with Gaveon’s affection. Suddenly, she had to pull away, hoping against hope he wouldn’t notice anything different about her.</p><p>“I’ll see you at dinner.”</p><p>Gaveon frowned. “Are we doing anything formal? I don’t think anyone knew you’d be back today.”</p><p>Carina smiled, feeling a bit lighter as she let down her mental shields and blasted news of her arrival to any daemeti listening. “They know now,” was her only reply.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Gaveon turned back to his paperwork. “I cannot wait to hear what the High Lord and Lady have to say about your blatant disregard for scheduling.” Carina took that as a dismissal and walked into the hallway, making it to the correct door this time. </p><p>--</p><p>The High Lord and Lady of the Night Court were not pleased at their daughter’s antics and did not plan the formal dinner they knew she wanted. Instead, the couple joined their three children in a small room adjacent to the kitchens that they used for intimate family meals. Evalin, ever the social one, began peppering their sister with questions as soon as Carina entered.</p><p>“Did you manage to tan even under all that clothing? I swear your color hasn’t changed in the slightest,” they huffed. </p><p>“Of course I tanned! Vivianne let me join them at these amazing hot springs where nudity is encouraged,” Carina scoffed, drawing an exasperated groan out of her mother. “And in between all this nudity, did you manage any diplomacy at all?” Feyre changed the subject before either of her children got too focused on skin tones.</p><p>Carina shrugged. “You saw the reports. Kallias is convinced the Spring Court no longer requires any additional troops and I agree with him. Nothing else changed and they still consider us allies, which I obviously did nothing to disrupt.” She had taken over most of the diplomatic excursions in the past decade, but her parents still seemed to think of her as a risk, even going so far as to send Mor as a chaperone on this most recent trip. The other Courts absolutely adored her presence, both for her political expertise and her ability to entertain. Carina was more than happy to show the rest of Prythian that the Night Court wasn’t as lame and serious as their reputation. If that made her a bit of a party girl, so be it.</p><p>Her father noticed her annoyance and placated her. “I heard nothing but good things from Mor and I’m sure the Winter Court will be begging for you to return soon.” She smiled at Rhys and started telling her family about the night she and Mor won a slew of card games. As she got caught up in the tale, she noticed a brief look of concern that crossed her father’s face. Had he discovered that terrifying change so quickly?</p><p>Halfway through her story, the door opened unexpectedly. Carina turned to look at the two Fae guards who entered and groaned audibly. Gaveon snorted into his wine as Evalin elbowed her to shut up. </p><p>One of them, a tall Illyrian male, shot her a look of surprise that quickly turned into a slight frown. Carina returned the frown with slightly more aggression. Her and Bryce had a long rivalry that started the moment he was hired as a guard for the House of Wind.</p><p>“My apologies for the interruption, but something has come up that requires the High Lord and Lady’s presence,” he said. Feyre and Rhys stood up and made to follow them out. Feyre turned back.</p><p>“Breakfast tomorrow? I do truly want to hear more about your trip.” </p><p>Carina pouted, not really upset but also craving attention. “I was hoping to sleep in tomorrow.” At her mother’s face, though, she added “but lunch sounds perfect.” </p><p>Appeased, the couple strode out of the room, leaving the siblings to finish their meal and allowing Carina to tell her spicier stories, with mental images to match. She even sent them some images of Kallias shirtless that had her brother blushing uncontrollably. After all, Carina was nothing if not a caring sister.</p><p>--</p><p>A few hours later, Carina sat back and admired the image in her rather extravagant vanity mirror. It had been months since she had worn proper Night Court attire and makeup, causing her to go a little crazy on her first night back. Stella Tenebrum, one of her oldest friends, stormed into her room right as she finished braiding her hair.</p><p>“Did you think to tell anyone you were back? I had to hear from fucking Alaric” she ranted, showing her disdain for Carina’s younger cousin. There was nothing wrong with Alaric, but he did have a weird energy that made some people uncomfortable. With a mother as cold as Nesta Archeron, Alaric was impressively normal.</p><p>Carina tossed the unbraided part of her hair over her shoulder. “Thank the Cauldron you’re here. I was about to start drinking alone and you know how impulsive that makes me.” She grabbed the bottle of wine off her vanity, took a generous sip, and passed the bottle to Stella. The two quickly finished the bottle while catching up on the past three months and soon headed over to Gaveon’s room to force him to join them in the club district of Velaris. Carina burst through the door without knocking.</p><p>“We’re leaving in ten, put on a shirt and chug some damn wine.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. you took a swing, i took it hard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I feel like this is a filler chapter, the exciting stuff will start soon!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was absolutely no reason for someone to be knocking on her door this early in the morning. Carina lifted her head to check the clock on her nightstand, frowning at the time. More than a little hungover, she slowly made her way to the door and opened it to see her uncle Cassian standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face.</p><p>“Are you serious? My parents aren’t expecting me at the estate until lunch,” she growled at him. His grin only widened.</p><p>“Which means we have a whole two hours to get your ass back into shape,” Cassian laughed. “I’m sure those Winter Court fools couldn’t keep up with you. Wanna see how out of practice you are?” Carina seriously considered unleashing every drop of power at her disposal to make him shut up and let her sleep a bit longer. Unfortunately, she was horribly competitive and couldn’t resist a challenge. </p><p>Mumbling something about needing to change, she closed her door again and threw on a pair of fighting leathers. Ten minutes and several glasses of water later, she stretched her wings and dove off her balcony, catching an updrift as she aimed for the roof. Cassian stood there waiting for her, and she noted that Gaveon and Alaric were already sparring. </p><p>“Do a full core and arms circuit, then we’ll throw you in the ring” Cassian ordered, crossing his arms and looking all the intimidating General. Carina huffed at his tone but didn’t complain as she started on the crunches. Before long, she could feel her body sweating out the wine and her muscles starting to wake up.</p><p>Carina finished the set and jogged over to the sparring ring where Gaveon stood. He’d already beaten Alaric several times and was watching Cassian critique his son’s technique. </p><p>“Nice of you to finally join us.”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up.”</p><p>Carina’s headache was only getting worse as she glared into the midmorning sun. She felt ready to punch someone. Or ready to throw up. Whatever. As soon as Alaric stepped out of the ring, she gave him a quick hug and ducked under the ropes to join her uncle.</p><p>“Weapons or hand to hand?” Cas shook his head at Carina’s question. Cauldron, his stupid grin was back.</p><p>“Oh sweetie, you aren’t ready to fight me again,” he chuckled. “Maybe next week. Nah, today I asked a guard to take care of you.”</p><p>And for the second time in as many days, Carina turned to see Bryce walking towards her. And for the second time, she groaned audibly.</p><p>“Good morning to you too.” Bryce smiled at her in a way that had her blood boiling. She was definitely ready to punch someone. “And no weapons. I don’t really feel like losing a hand because you’re too hungover to handle a sword.” Cassian nodded his approval and moved out of the ring. </p><p>Gaveon turned to look at him. “Are you sure about this? She might actually kill him.” Cassian waved a hand nonchalantly and turned back to the ring. “Well? I’m not getting any younger.”</p><p>Carina rolled her shoulders and leaned into a fighting stance. If she was allowed to use her magic, the fight would be over in five seconds. Without it, she worried that Bryce’s height and weight advantage would make this a more even fight. Also, she hated to admit it, but she had gotten out of shape in the Winter Court while he trained every day under her uncle’s meticulous leadership. Bryce assessed her in a similar way, before launching himself forward and landing a quick blow to her left arm. She recovered and sidestepped his next punch before twisting her leg around to kick his right shin. It wasn’t the most graceful move, but it threw him off balance enough for her to land another hit on his jaw. The fight continued and Carina had to admit how good it felt to blow off some steam in a physical way. </p><p>Before too long, they were both panting and had more than a few bruises. Carina went to sweep him off his feet, but he intercepted her move and somehow flipped her, so she landed hard on her back. </p><p>Winded, she glared up at him. He reached out a hand to help her up, ignoring the curses she muttered under her breath.</p><p>“Really Carina, what were you doing in the WinterCourt?” Cassian chucked, only laughing harder when he saw how angry she looked. “That was unusually pathetic.” Gaveon did his best not to smile at his sister’s expression.</p><p>“Maybe I was too busy actually having a good time instead of obsessing over my muscles like you insufferable males.” Carina flicked her braid over one shoulder. “I’ll take losing one fight over having a massive stick up my ass.” She directed the last comment at Bryce, who she guessed had never broken a rule or had a night off in his life.</p><p>“I don’t have a stick up my ass,” Gaveon complained. “Leave me out of this.”</p><p>Cassian opened his mouth, probably to defend his dictatorial training regime, when they all felt a huge gust of wind and turned to see Rhys land on the roof. He was holding Reyna, one of the female guards who Carina got along with. They walked over to the group and the females hugged briefly.</p><p>“I came to find you before lunch and caught Reyna on her way up. How’s training going?” Rhys raised an eyebrow at the bruise already turning purple on one of his daughter’s eyes. </p><p>“Bryce was just kicking Carina’s ass. Wanna take a turn?” Cassian hopped into the ring before the High Lord could respond. Rhys grinned and soon the two Illyrians were sparring with enough power that the rest of the group took several steps back. </p><p>“How was your trip?” Reyna asked. Carina started regaling her with gossip and tales, watching Gaveon and Bryce also start chatting out of the corner of her eye. Were they friends? She couldn’t recall her brother ever really talking to the guard, except to apologize for her rudeness occasionally. Had her absence spurred them to get closer? Maybe when Carina wasn’t constantly trying to sneak away from the House unsupervised and Bryce wasn’t constantly trying to keep her from having any fun, the two had actually bonded. She frowned slightly and resolved to talk to her brother at lunch.</p><p>Lunch passed without much incident and Carina made to corner Gaveon as they all stood from the table. Before she could, her father shot her a mental request to meet upstairs in his office. She felt her anxiety rising as the two headed upstairs, even more so when he shut the door and placed a shield around them.</p><p>“What is it?” she blurted out. Rhys sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. Carina crossed her arms and remained standing.</p><p>“Have you noticed any changes within yourself lately?” Rhys asked. Carina swallowed heavily and nodded. He knew. “It’s ok. Remember that I’ve been exactly where you are.”</p><p>She walked over to the window and looked at the view of the river below. “I felt it the day I was supposed to come home. That’s why I was a week late.” Her father nodded. “Is it…is it set in stone then? Can everyone else tell?”</p><p>Rhys sighed. “Probably not yet. In a couple weeks, it’ll be clear to everyone. Including your siblings.” He looked at her with nothing but pride in his eyes. “Are you upset? I thought you’d want this.”</p><p>Carina walked over and sat next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. With her face tucked into her father’s neck, she was finally able to admit what she had known for a long while now. She was the Heir of the Night Court.</p><p>“How mad is Keir going to be when he realizes I’ll be his next High Lady?”</p><p>Rhys laughed. Picturing that bastard fuming over the thought of a mere female having more power than her older brother, Carina managed a smile. </p><p>“I assume mother knows.” Rhys nodded, always unwilling to hide anything from his mate.</p><p>“I asked her to let us talk first. She’s obviously incredibly proud of you and we’d be happy to help you tell Gaveon and Evalin.”</p><p>Carina shook her head. “I need to talk to them alone. I can’t imagine Evalin caring, but Gaveon....he wouldn’t tell me even if he was upset about it.” Her sibling had never really bothered to leave the Night Court or learn much about politics. The rest of the continent didn’t know what to do with a Fae that wasn’t female or male, so they had no interest in explaining their pronouns and gender identity to every Cauldrons-damned bigot in Prythian. Gaveon, on the other hand, joined Carina on plenty of diplomatic trips and had taken up several roles in running their territory. He was well-trained and well-known, certainly a good option to take over their parents’ roles.</p><p>Fate didn’t work that way. Carina couldn’t ignore that feeling, that growing knowledge that she was the true Heir of the Night Court. It was rare for the power to not go to the oldest, and unheard of for it to go to a daughter. And as wonderful as Gaveon is, Carina knew she was just as valid a choice. He would just have to understand that.</p><p>--</p><p>A week past and Carina still hadn’t worked up the courage to talk to her siblings. She had been busy, to be fair, with meetings and paperwork piling up in her absence. She was almost done managing budget requests for renovations in a nearby village when her mother knocked on her door after dinner. </p><p>“You don’t need to be working so hard, my love,” Feyre said softly. </p><p>Carina took a moment to stretch out her arms before responding. “I really don’t mind this stuff. Honestly, I’ve come to enjoy it.” Feyre nodded, marvelling at how her daughter had grown up. “Do you need something?”</p><p>Feyre sighed. “Unfortunately. Your father and I think a visit to the Hewn City is long past due. Az came by today and confirmed rumors that they aren’t following some of the rules we gave them last year. Normally we would handle this, but now…”</p><p>Carina heard the words her mother didn’t say. The whole Court would soon know about her status as the heir, no doubt spread quickly by gossips and spies as soon as anyone smelled it on her. She might as well start off strong and demonstrate a little bit of that power to the Court of Nightmares.</p><p>The Inner Circle and their children had been trying to reform the Court of Nightmares for decades. After the war with Hybern ended and most of the damage was controlled, Feyre insisted that they couldn’t let that horrible place continue tormenting women and ruining children. Mor jumped on the project immediately and spent a solid 15 years helping anyone who wanted to leave find a new home. Unsurprisingly, that task was made harder by Keir’s reign of terror and millenia of bigotry. Soon after Carina came of age, she had taken to the issue wholeheartedly and accompanied her parents on multiple visits a year to oversee changes. They had made progress on increasing trade and travel to and from the mountain, but couldn’t seem to get mandatory education or female rights to stick. Cauldron forbid they simply kill Keir and be done with it.</p><p>“Of course I’ll be there. I’d love nothing more than to show off for that piece of shit,” Carina said sweetly. </p><p>“A wonderful sentiment, but this means you’ll have to talk to your siblings today. You three will leave tomorrow afternoon.” Feyre made to leave the bedroom as Carina processed her words.</p><p>“Wait--us three? Who’s coming with me?” she frowned. Mor would probably join her, but she had hoped her father wouldn’t come too and steal her thunder.<br/>
Feyre sighed. “Don’t be upset.”</p><p>“I’m not! I just don’t know why Dad has to come. I am more than capable of--”</p><p>“Not your father. We just want to send one guard with you in case Az’s shadows can’t monitor the situation.” Feyre looked at her daughter nervously. Carina shot her a glare and groaned, the same reaction she always gave at the thought of him.</p><p>“You’re sending Bryce with me to the fucking Court of Nightmares?!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. what a ghostly scene</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Heading down to the Court of Nightmares and maybeee moving from enemies to friends??</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carina was not ashamed to admit she drank half a bottle of wine before going to talk to her siblings. It never hurt to have a little liquid courage when potentially ruining your relationship with your brother.</p><p>Putting a corkscrew in the bottle and leaving her bedroom, she sent out a mental message asking Evalin and Gaveon to meet her in the living room. They both replied quickly.</p><p>“So,” Carina began when they were all seated. “I’m the Heir.”</p><p>Honestly she hadn’t meant to blurt it out so quickly; maybe the wine hadn’t been the best idea. Evalin and Gaveon exchanged a look.</p><p>“We figured that out, like, days ago,” Evalin said. “You were being all weird and it doesn’t take a genius to notice how much more powerful you’ve gotten.”</p><p>Carian gaped. “What are you--why didn’t you say anything?”</p><p>“I kinda wanted to see if you’d have a breakdown before telling us,” Gaveon smiled. “Did you drink before this?”</p><p>“Not important. So, we’re good?” Carina asked.</p><p>Evalin stood up before replying. “We all knew it wasn’t going to be me. I’m happy never leaving Velaris and letting you do all the hard work. As long as you don’t cut my monthly spending, we’re good.” Their point made, they left the room. Evalin seemed casual about the whole ordeal, but they knew that their siblings would need a moment to discuss this privately.</p><p>Carina turned to Gaveon. “Are you ok with this? We’ve just never really talked about it and I really don’t want you to feel like I”m taking over out of nowhere or anything--”</p><p>“Carina. Chill. It’s really fine.” Gaveon cut off her rambling. “I moped for a whole hour after Evalin and I figured it out, but I’m ok. You’re more involved with everything and more powerful than I am.”</p><p>Carina slumped back against the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far. Besides, we have way too much time before our parents go anywhere, so things could always change.”</p><p>“Honestly it feels quite nice to have some of the pressure of. Maybe I’ll start traveling more.” Gaveon cocked his head, thinking. “Not like you do of course. You can handle all the political shit and I’ll just drink all day.”</p><p>“Same thing, moron,” Carina responded. “If you want to start tomorrow, I’m heading to the Hewn City.”</p><p>Gaveon grimaced. “Hard pass. Is Mor going with you?”</p><p>At the mention of her trip tomorrow, Carina remembered she hadn’t asked him about his whole deal with Bryce yet.</p><p>“And your new best friend.”</p><p>“What? Oh Bryce? Are you planning on making this a big deal?” Gaveon asked, suddenly worried about his sister’s ability to blow minor details out of proportion.</p><p>“Yes I'm making this a big deal! You barely spoke to him before I left and now you’re chatting away, having private little meetings in your room! Wait--are you sleeping with him?” Carina gasped.</p><p>“Cauldron no! I have a strict no-Illyrian rule.” Gaveon shuddered. “We just started training together and now we’re friends. He’s a good male.” Carina rolled her eyes.</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it. As long as he keeps his mouth shut tomorrow.”<br/>----<br/>The next day, Carina ate a quick lunch before darting back up to her room to get ready. The Court of Nightmares always called for a more dramatic aesthetic than she normally wore.<br/>She pulled out a black jumpsuit, covered in tiny gems to make it glisten. The sleeveless straps met in a halter behind her neck, leaving her arms and back bare. As a little girl, she had absolutely idolized her aunt for showing up to a cold, nasty place with barely any clothing on. She hadn’t really known what statement Mor was trying to make, only that she was definitely making one.</p><p>After applying smoky, dramatic cosmetics, Carina decided to pull her dark hair back into a low up-do. Satisfied, she stood and winnowed down to the formal dining room to meet the others.</p><p>“You have done it again, baby Archeron,” Mor laughed, pulling Carina into a tight hug. “That outfit is going to make my dear father want to shrivel up and die.”</p><p>“As if anyone is going to even look at me when I’m standing next to you,” she replied. Mor had pulled out yet another incredible red two piece outfit, this time with gold embroidering that somehow enhanced her natural assets more than usual.</p><p>Mor leaned in. “Are you and the guard...friends? Is Gaveon? Please tell me someone is involved with that body.”</p><p>Carina looked directly at Bryce, who stood at the opposite side of the room. “Unfortunately, his personality makes anything like that impossible. He’s miserable.”</p><p>Bryce, who could obviously hear them, gave them a small smirk. “I’ll try not to let any of that get to my head. Shall we?”</p><p>Mor offered her arm, wisely sensing that Carina did not want to be the one to winnow him.<br/>--<br/>Mor and Bryce slipped into the hall as soon as they arrived. Carina took a moment to compose herself, right as a diadem and a note popped up next to her. She grabbed them before they could fall to the ground, opening the piece of paper.</p><p>“Proud of you always.” It seemed her parents were wildly incapable of ignoring sentimentality at any of their children’s milestones.</p><p>Forcing a smile off her face, Carina placed the silver ring on her head and put on the most displeased expression she could manage. Slamming open the doors with a light brush of power, she marched into the revelry. Abruptly,, the music and conversation stopped as everyone watched her walk right up to a small group gathered in the middle of the room.</p><p>“Keir. Toren.” She acknowledged the two males who lived to make this Cauldron-forsaken place even worse. Toren had crawled out of some nasty, prejudiced family to become a Second of sorts for Mor’s father. They had run into each other many times during Carina’s visits and he was always unpleasant.</p><p>Keir did not bow for his High Lord and Lady’s offspring. “What brings you to my Court, child?”</p><p>Carina tried not to shudder at his tone of voice. “We heard some rumors that our changes are not being implemented properly. Care to explain?”</p><p>“You must understand, these things take time,” Toren replied condescendingly. “We hope the High Lord and Lady do not expect us to rush.”</p><p>Mor rolled her eyes. “We know that you’ve been dragging your feet, so cut the excuses. Who will you select to run the schools here?”</p><p>Keir only looked at Carina, refusing to acknowledge his daughter. “We are still looking at several candidates. Your….requirements made finding someone suitable quite difficult.”</p><p>Rhys and Feyre had demanded that the Hewn City create a functioning education system for all children. They also included a provision that any teachers or administrators be female, so as to hopefully avoid Keir and his supporters taking over the lessons. Keir was not entirely lying when he told them that finding a female qualified to teach others would be difficult. However, he had dragged his feet for months and refused their offer to send someone from Velaris.</p><p>Carina smiled. “How lucky for you then that my parents are so generous! If you do not have staff selected in the next fortnight, we will be sending someone down for you. Accompanied by my father.”</p><p>Toren scoffed. “We can find someone more suitable than whatever bastard or lesser Fae he would surely send.”</p><p>Mor and Carina both tensed.</p><p>“You would do well to avoid speaking of my parents’ court that way,” Carina growled. She didn’t dare look at Bryce next to her, who had gone completely still. Keir had other ideas.</p><p>“Really, child, if you need protection, you could always borrow some of my Darkbringers. There’s no need to sully around with these bats.”</p><p>Mor laughed. “The Illyrians would wipe your pathetic court of the face of the world if Rhys let them.”</p><p>Toren opened his mouth to reply, but Carina cut him off. Both with words and with yanking the air out of his lungs.</p><p>“As your next High Lady, I’m going to recommend you think extremely carefully about your next sentence.” </p><p>Toren grabbed his throat, coughing and choking. Keir looked absolutely murderous.</p><p>“What nonsense is this? You think you can go through some inane ceremony and become a false leader like your mother?”</p><p>Carina smiled sweetly, releasing Toren and letting him fall to the ground gasping for air. “I’ll ignore that insult. And you should also think about your next actions because I am always thrilled to demonstrate how much more powerful I am than anyone in this room.”</p><p>Keir stalked away.</p><p>“He’s probably going to try and confirm with some of his spies,” Mor explained. “Some Fae have...ways of sensing this sort of thing.”</p><p>“He can do whatever he wants as long as it’s far away from me. Wine?” Carina asked. Mor winked and walked towards the tables of drinks to grab them some of her family’s admittedly wondrous taste in alcohol. Carina turned to Bryce.</p><p>“Are you okay?” He seemed surprised at the question.</p><p>“Should I not be?”</p><p>“The line about lesser Fae and Illyrians. Keir somehow manages to be the most bigoted male in all of Prythian.” Carina had no idea how much Bryce knew about the Court of Nightmares and she hoped he wouldn’t take the interaction personally.</p><p>“Oh that,” Bryce replied. “I barely noticed it. I’ve heard much worse, don’t worry about it.”</p><p>Carina frowned. “Doesn’t make it acceptable. I swear, we’ve been trying to root him out of here for centuries but--”</p><p>“Carina, it’s really fine,” he interrupted. “Gaveon told me all about this place. I knew what I was volunteering for.”</p><p>“Volunteering? Wait-did you ask to come here?” Carina prodded. </p><p>Bryce shrugged. “The High Lord asked for someone to accompany you and Mor. I was curious about the rest of the Night Court.”</p><p>Mor returned with three glasses and a bottle of wine floating next to her.</p><p>“Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>Carina smirked. “No way. Brycie here is apparently curious about this Cauldron-forsaken place. Let’s give him a tour.” Bryce looked affronted at the nickname.</p><p>“As long as I can drink while we walk, why the Hel not.” Mor chuckled. “Since I have so many great memories around here.”<br/>Carina felt a flash of guilt. She could never tell if it harmed Mor to be reminded of her traumatic childhood. “You definitely do not have to come with us if you don’t want to.”</p><p>“Absolutely not! I know all the best spots,” Mor objected, turning on her heel to stalk out of the hall. Bryce and Carina made to follow.</p><p>They made their way further into the palace as Mor pointed out different rooms and magical aspects. Carina had seen most of it before, but Bryce looked shockingly fascinated by the whole place. She found herself watching him as Mor described some particularly gruesome death one of her uncle’s suffered after accidentally activating a cursed chandelier. Why something like cursed chandeliers even existed was beyond her.</p><p>“How many people even live under here?” Bryce questioned. Mor shrugged.</p><p>“None of us really know. There’s hundreds of nobility, who attend the revels and make our lives a living Hel, but no one has ever bothered to keep track of all the….poor Fae,” she trailed off awkwardly. Carina winced. It was a bit of a sore subject for the Inner Circle. Feyre had tried, soon after the war, to find out how many Fae lived under the mountain and if they needed resources. Keir quickly blocked this project of hers, insisting that all their work go through him first. </p><p>She continued. “We’d guess there are several thousand. Not the size of Velaris, but more poverty than we’d like to see obviously.”</p><p>They walked out onto a large balcony overlooking the rest of the city. Bryce spent a good minute watching as Fae walked from place to place, no bigger than bugs at this height. Mor and Carina hung back, sipping on their drinks.</p><p>“I never thought I’d see somewhere more depressing than a war camp,” he commented, finishing the rest of his glass.</p><p>Mor laughed. “Cauldron, Cassian said the exact same thing when he visited the first time.”</p><p>“Curious satiated? I am beyond ready to get out of here,” Carina pleaded. They had finished the expensive bottle and she had no desire to go back to the revel and get another one.</p><p>“Sure. Thanks for letting me look around.” Bryce walked back over to where they stood. Before Mor could hold out her arm, Carina stuck hers out, surprising even herself. He took it, and they winnowed back to the House of Wind.<br/>--<br/>“You’re almost back in shape,” Cassian conceded at their training session the next morning. Carina wiped the sweat off her brow.</p><p>“Maybe for a real challenge, I’ll fight Az next time,” she smirked as she walked over to grab a glass of water. Cassian gave her a light shove before turning back to where Reyna and Gaveon faced off in the sparring ring. Carina spotted Bryce standing near the weapons rack and walked over to him.</p><p>“Debating what you’re going to kill me with?”</p><p>Bryce dropped the sword he was holding. “Cauldron, make some noise when you approach someone.”</p><p>“I seem to remember you telling me one time that I can never manage to shut up,” Carina replied. “Sorry, let’s not. I have a question. Or a favor, I guess.”</p><p>“Ask away,” Bryce said, crossing his arms.</p><p>Carina rubbed her hands together, a nervous tic she could never seem to drop. “This is a bit awkward, I know, but since you and Gaveon are getting along so well, I was wondering if you could check up on him?”</p><p>Bryce tilted his head. “Check up on him? Why?”</p><p>“Just about the whole Heir thing,” Carina sighed. “I know he says he’s fine with it and all but I just want to be sure. He’s been a little distant.”</p><p>“Yes, of course.” Carina blinked. Was it really that easy? Bryce laughed quietly at her bemused expression. “Are you shocked I would do a favor for you?”</p><p>“Honestly? A little bit,” she quipped. “When’s the last time either of us did something for the other?”</p><p>Bryce shrugged. “You’ve never asked.”</p><p>Feeling more than a little awkward, Carina tossed her braid over her shoulder. “Well thank you anyway. You’ve been tolerable for all of five minutes.” She magicked her wings out and made to fly off as Bryce replied.</p><p>“Most people find me more than tolerable. Remarkably pleasant, actually.”</p><p>“I’ll believe it when I see it!” Carina shouted over the wind as she dove towards the river estate.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. for every lie I tell them, they tell me three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Warning for vague sexual content (nothing explicit). Reviews are always appreciated!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If anyone in the room had been paying close attention, they might have seen a shadow slip away from a dark corner and slide across the floor. They might have noticed the shadow silently approach the group of males standing near the double throne, whispering amongst themselves. They might have even wondered why the shadow seemed to pause, listen, absorb whatever conversation was occurring. Fortunately for the shadow, everyone in the room had been drinking for several hours. Fortunately for the shadow, not even Keir noticed it eavesdropping on his treacherous conversation.</p><p>Carina slowly stepped into the shower, hissing slightly as the steaming hot water hit her skin. The morning training sessions had only gotten tougher as Cassian finally deemed her ready to spar with him again. She had managed to land a couple hits that caused him to stumble, but couldn’t control her snarky comment that followed. Her uncle assigned her double strength training after that.</p><p>After drying off and getting dressed, Carina winnowed over to the river estate to meet with the rest of the Inner Circle. Azriel had spent the past few weeks after their trip gathering information on the Court of Nightmares. It began as a simple way to check on the status of the education system, but he doubled his efforts after one of his spies overheard a concerning interaction between several low-ranking Darkbringers. </p><p>Feyre opened the door. “Everyone’s gathered in the formal dining room. How’d you sleep?” she asked with a warm smile.</p><p>Carina winced. “Slept fine, but I can barely walk, thanks to your General.” Feyre nodded sympathetically. </p><p>“There are pain potions in the kitchen if it gets unbearable.”</p><p>Walking into the dining room, Carina saw her father, uncles, Nesta, and Mor already engaged in conversation. </p><p>“Let’s just kill him and be done with it,” Nesta remarked, cutting off whatever point Rhys was trying to make. </p><p>Cassian shook his head. “It’s been centuries of this. He has too much support for his death to turn into anything but a martyrdom.” Azriel nodded in agreement.</p><p>“I worry that Keir has more allies that he’s kept hidden from me. No one has been able to intercept any of his communications or listen to any of his conversations in his private chambers. The information from the Darkbringers is nothing more than a conspiracy at this point.”</p><p>Carina jumped in. “Hi, hello, good morning, what information from which Darkbringers?” </p><p>“One of Az’s spies found a few soldiers ranting about Rhys’ leadership. They seemed to think that Keir has some plan to keep us out of the Hewn City and maybe expand his reach to more of the Night Court.” Mor explained.</p><p>Rhys frowned. “Keir might simply be encouraging rumors. If he has an ally outside of his court, that would be….a different issue.”</p><p>“We have not found any communications to an outside party,” Azriel explained to Carina. “But of course, that does not mean he isn’t finding a way around my spies.”</p><p>“So come at it from the other end,” she suggested. “Start with who he could possibly ally with and track their communications.” </p><p>Feyre beamed. “Isn’t she brilliant? Carina, that is exactly what we were about to do.” Carina rolled her eyes at the unnecessary maternal pride.</p><p>Rhys floated a piece of paper over to where she sat. “We’re going to investigate the Illyrian rebels who are still throwing a fuss, any lingering army in Hybern, the Autumn Court, and the Spring Court.”</p><p>Carina gaped. “You don’t actually think it’s another court in Prythian?”</p><p>“We know that Keir and Eris have worked together for decades and we can never rule out the Spring Court after their rather unfortunate involvement in the last War,” Feyre argued. “Of course, we hope that their High Lords have better sense than this, but we have to take precautions.”</p><p>Azriel stepped in. “Our current plan is to approach these groups cautiously and indirectly, so they would not suspect anything. Cassian and Nesta will spend a few weeks in the mountains under the pretense of checking on female training--”</p><p>“An important task on its own!” Cassian interrupted.</p><p>“Yes, an important task on its own,” Azriel sighed, then continued. “Rhys has asked Jurian if he can check in on Hybern during his travels to the continent. Mor and I will continue our visits to the Hewn City. We haven’t decided the best way to approach the Spring or Autumn Courts, but we think it best if you go, Carina.”</p><p>“Since you regularly travel around Prythian and are a little less threatening than any of us,” Mor finished with a grin. “Not any less powerful, of course, just a little more underestimated.”</p><p>“Always happy to,” she replied.</p><p>They discussed the specifics of the threats further, before Cassian and Nesta left to go prepare for the upcoming trip. When the sun began to set, Rhys waved his hands and a light dinner appeared on the table. Carina stood up suddenly.</p><p>“So sorry, but I said I’d meet Stella and Gaveon for dinner so I can’t stay.”</p><p>“Go, have fun,” her father said. “We’ll update you with a plan later.”</p><p>Since she was meeting them in Velaris, Carina decided to walk the short distance to the restaurant. Gaveon had already arrived and was sitting in their normal booth on the outside patio with a few appetizers.</p><p>“Bless your soul Gavy,” Carina mumbled around a mouthful of fried vegetables. “How was dealing with Evalin and their friends all day?” </p><p>Gaveon rubbed his eyes. “I completely understand why our parents want one of us involved. They were going absolutely insane over the decorations.”</p><p>Since Evalin rarely left the Night Court and had more friends in Velaris than even Mor, they often took over preparations for local events. Rhys and Feyre had to make a rule that either Carina or Gaveon oversee their Starfall plans, ever since the year Evalin blew half the budget on crystal chandeliers and invited over seven hundred Fae. </p><p>Her parents had floated the idea that Carina be announced to the Night Court as Heir at the Starfall celebration. She had quickly vetoed the idea, preferring to let the rumors spread as they would. </p><p>Stella burst through the doors to the patio and threw herself into the remaining chair.</p><p>“Cauldron bless your soul, these are my favorites!” she exclaimed, grabbing a slice of spiced bread.</p><p>“Do you two plan to always say the same things or does it just happen?” Gaveon inquired. The females laughed and the three continued easy conversation for the next few hours.</p><p>As they paid their check and stood up to leave, Stella brought up their plans for the rest of the night.</p><p>“I’m heading to my apartment to change; where should I meet you after?”</p><p>“At the House of Wind? Let’s just meet at the kitchens so we can have a few drinks and leave quickly.” Carina replied, eager to get the rest of the night started. She’d had a stressful few weeks, to say the least.</p><p>As Stella turned down her street, Gaveon cleared his throat.</p><p>“Do me a favor?”</p><p>“I don’t love the sound of that,” Carina warned.</p><p>Gaveon rolled his eyes. “I invited Bryce to come out with us tonight.”</p><p>Carina stopped walking. “The same Bryce who used to tattle on us every time we snuck out? The same Bryce who dumped the wine I had hidden?”</p><p>“I thought you warmed up to him after the Hewn City,” Gaveon insisted. “Besides, he’s coming so find a way to deal with it.”</p><p>“Just because we get along slightly better doesn’t mean he still didn’t ruin my adolescent years with his stupid rules,” Carina grumbled, but she started walking again.</p><p>“Well, we were assholes to the guards when we were younger. You really need to move on, don’t you think?”</p><p>Carina did think about it. She wasn’t completely spoiled and heinous, hating Bryce for simply doing his job. No, she resented him because he used her to improve his own standing as a guard. She had even approached him and tried to be friendly after the first time she was caught sneaking out, but Bryce only replied “I don’t need to be friends with princesses.” It was completely infuriating. </p><p>“Please Rini,” Gaveon begged. “Just be normal, water under the bridge.”</p><p>She nodded. “Fine. But if he says anything pretentious or condescending, I might throw him in the Sidra.” </p><p>“He won’t,” Gaveon promised.<br/>--<br/>The siblings split up to change before meeting back downstairs. Carina had selected a matching velvet maroon top and skirt that Mor bought her. Being from a female with controversial fashion taste, the outfit showed plenty of skin and fit her like a glove. She kept her hair down and makeup simple, eager to get to her father’s wine stash before Bryce showed up.</p><p>She was the first one of their little group to arrive, so Carina grabbed two bottles of wine and a bottle of clear spirits from the liquor pantry. She sat down at a small table in the corner and magicked over some glasses. As she went to pour herself some of the liquor, Bryce walked in.</p><p>“Hi,” he began, running a hand through his hair. “I hope Gaveon mentioned I’d be joining you tonight.”</p><p>She nodded. “He did.” Bryce stood in the doorway awkwardly for a moment, then took a seat and reached for the liquor.</p><p>“So I talked to him for you. Gaveon. About the whole….Heir business,” he said, trying to break the ice. Carina raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Did he say anything interesting?”</p><p>“A bit. He definitely doesn’t hold it against you or resent you or anything. I think he might just be worried about the pressure affecting you.” Bryce seemed to be rambling a bit, unsure if his words would draw a reaction from her.</p><p>Carina took another sip from her drink and looked at him thoughtfully.</p><p>“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”</p><p>Bryce met her gaze. “Are you angry with me?”</p><p>Carina shrugged. “Should I be?”</p><p>“For crashing your plans. You don’t seem to want me here,” Bryce retorted.</p><p>She took another sip. “After years of you being on my ass for every tiny mistake, maybe I’m simply surprised that you’d join us for a night out.” </p><p>Bryce grimaced. “I know I was...probably ruder to you than anyone else, but I’d really like to put that behind us. We’re both adults now. We can do our jobs and be friends.”</p><p>Carina laughed at that. Actually laughed.<br/>“Did Gaveon tell you say this? You weren’t ‘probably ruder’ to me. You made it your life’s mission to use anything I did wrong to your advantage. For absolutely no reason!”</p><p>“No reason? You taunted me constantly and didn’t care about a single rule your parents made!” he bit back. “I was just trying to prove myself to Cassian. Have you ever considered that not everything in this entire Court is about you?”</p><p>Carina glared at him, momentarily speechless. Bryce seemed to collect himself, noting her anger.</p><p>“Sorry. That was unnecessary. I just want to--”</p><p>He stopped talking as Gaveon, Rhys, and Feyre walked in. Reyna joined them, the head guard on shift that night.</p><p>“Hello love,” Rhys greeted her. “Glad to see my alcohol is being taken care of.”</p><p>Carina threw on a smile. “Come to break up the party?”</p><p>Her parents laughed. Gaveon sat next to her, reaching for a bottle of wine.</p><p>“So you two were alone in a room for a few minutes and there’s no property damage. I’d say that’s a win.”</p><p>Carina mumbled something about not getting his hopes up under her breath, while Bryce forced an obviously fake laugh at the remark.</p><p>“Sweetheart, we wanted to let you know as soon as possible. We’ve spoken with Tarquin, and you have an official invitation to the Summer Court for two weeks, the day after Starfall,” Feyre told her. </p><p>In her head, Carina heard her father’s voice. “It’s the easiest way to collect tabs on the Spring Court.” She nodded at both of them in understanding.</p><p>“And I’m coming!” Gaveon exclaimed. “So whatever crazy idea you have for this trip, count me in.”</p><p>“I really do have the best time every visit,” Carina smirked, pretending to think. “Like losing my virginity the first time we went.”</p><p>Bryce choked on his drink and even the ever-professional Reyna’s eyes widened. Feyre sighed, well-aware of her daughter’s obsession with doing something wild any time she visited the Summer Court.<br/>“Please do not sacrifice any diplomacy for a shenanigan,” Rhys insisted. “And keep the sexual comments to yourself.”</p><p>“Oooo I missed a sexual comment?” Stella giggled, rushing into the small room. Carina pulled out the chair next to her and poured her some of the liquor.</p><p>“We’ll leave you to it,” Feyre announced, grabbing her mate’s arm. “Have fun tonight.”</p><p>“I’m serious, what was the sexual comment?” Stella demanded as soon as the High Lord and Lady left the room, Reyna following.</p><p>Gaveon rolled his eyes. “Carina reminding us of all the great times she has in Adriata in honor of our upcoming trip.”</p><p>“No freaking way, they’re actually letting you back in?” Stella laughed. “I thought you caused enough drama when you caused that fight after your first threesome--”</p><p>“Wow, yes, they’re letting me back in,” Carina interrupted. “No need to relive every detail.”</p><p>She was sure Bryce saw the entire conversation as more evidence that she was some irresponsible, immature, child. But really, it wasn’t her fault that she found a way to let loose while travelling. As part of the royal family, Carina found dating and sex virtually impossible in the Night Court. Considering everyone in Velaris knew her family extremely well, and she couldn’t very well proposition someone in the Court of Nightmares, her options were limited. Besides one brief fling with an Illyrian when she was barely an adult, Carina had only engaged with males in other Courts. </p><p>She quickly decided she didn’t care what Bryce, or any random Fae, thought about her sexual history.</p><p>“Shots? We seriously need to head out soon,” Gaveon suggested, switching the conversation away from his sister’s sex life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. nothing seems to work the first few times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am losing motivation to write a multi-chapter fic!! But this is bringing me some stress-relief outside of my job, so that's nice. Reviews and kudos are cherished :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck her stupid rule, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Carina couldn’t help but think as the night went on. With all the stress of investigating the Court of Nightmares and handling her new position and the more recent fight with Bryce, she would love nothing more than to handle her stress in the traditional way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked over at Stella, for the fifth time in two minutes, who was flirting with a stranger at the bar. The logical side of her brain shoved back the frustrated part, arguing how awkward it would be to fuck one of the patrons at Rita’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been weirdly quiet,” Gaveon observed, sliding another drink across the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m going to head home,” she grunted. “Not really in the mood for this anymore. They’d already been out for a couple hours and she really had no desire to chat with another acquaintance or drink herself into a hangover tomorrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon pouted. “It’s so early!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shook her head and pushed the drink back to him. “Have a nice night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to take you back?” he offered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina knew he only wanted to pester her about her mood. It’s not like anyone in Velaris actually could threaten her safety. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m just heading straight to bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>These night outs had been slowly losing their appeal over the past few years. Carina used to love dancing, losing herself in the music, and chatting the night away with whoever worked up the nerve to introduce themselves. She guessed it correlated directly with the responsibility she had taken on, prioritizing her political research and getting a good night of sleep before morning meetings. It might have been more than that, some deeper emotional reason, but she never felt a need to analyzer herself that thoroughly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina, wait.” Does no one in this damned city know how to mind their business? She turned to face Bryce, jogging to catch up with her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am so incredibly not in the mood for whatever this is,” she snapped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held his hands up in surrender. “I just want to apologize for earlier. I was rude and shouldn’t have attacked you. That’s all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why now?” She tugged her coat a little tighter around her body as a chill wind swept by. “We had such a nice time ignoring each other.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ever since their last explosive fight, months before her Winter Court trip, the two had kept their distance. They had separately seemed to come to the conclusion that there would be no reconciliation or simple way to tolerate the other’s presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m friends with your brother now,” he explained. “I thought that would be a good enough reason as any to break the ice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She huffed, unconvinced. “We’ll share custody. I’ll get him every other week and holidays.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you have to be like that?” Bryce argued. “I’ve seen you get along with almost everyone else on this Cauldron-damned continent, in all the other fucking Courts, but you can’t even be civil with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you need me to be civil with you? Just leave it be.” Carina spun on her heel and made to stalk away. All she wanted was her bed and maybe a few chapters of a good book for company.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce followed, like an antagonistic puppy. “I plan on accompanying you on more trips. I asked Cassian before you came back, so I’m...trying. Can you? Try to calm down?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina snorted. “I really don’t react well to males telling me to calm down.” She almost left it at that, but her curiosity and pride rarely let her walk away from a conversation. “Just tell him you changed your mind and stay in the Night Court. You can spend all the time you want with my brother while I’m gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“By the Mother, can you actually consider that you aren’t the center of Prythian for one minute?” Bryce’s wings flared out with frustration. “Not all of us get to prance around, discovering the world, and travelling in luxury. This is the first chance I’ve ever had to see more than Velaris and one shitty war camp.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cauldron, did he always have to think of her as a spoiled princess? The condescending tone aside, Carina found herself empathizing. She knew the feeling of suffocation that came with staying in one place for too long. But seriously, could he stop being a prick and just say that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then stop being a prick and say that! Maybe if you didn’t look down on every damn thing I do, I wouldn’t hate being around you enough to make travelling together impossible,” she ranted. Her bed and book seemed less likely by the minute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” He looked at her and she looked back, searching for any trace of anger or irritation in his eyes. “I’ll shut up and stop bothering you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck. He must really want to leave Velaris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A quick feeling of guilt shot through her. Carina hated invoking her authority and commanding others like a tyrant for no good reason, and she hadn’t even meant to in this case.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t have to be that extreme.” She rubbed her eyes once, suddenly exhausted. “I get that you want to travel. Let’s just, I don’t know, see how the Summer Court goes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow. “The Summer Court?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gaveon will be there too,” she explained. “It’ll be a good trial run, to see if we can both shove our egos down for a bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina ignored the small smile that crept onto Bryce’s face. Without so much as a goodbye, she winnowed to her room, determined to fall asleep as quickly as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next few days leading up to Starfall were chaotic, to say the least. Carina enjoyed getting caught up in the planning and managing her sibling’s worst impulses. Evalin found her in the kitchen at the river estate, the morning before the celebration, and demanded she approve a last minute purchase of a massive ice luge. Carina was severely tempted to approve it, since the luge depicted her parents fighting something that looked coincidentally like the High Lord of Spring’s beast form.. Unfortunately, logic won out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Evie, darling, that probably isn’t appropriate for a holiday,” Carina answered. “But please feel free to order a creative ice sculpture for my next birthday.” They sulked over the decision for a full minute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina kissed their cheek. “I have to go meet Az, so I’ll see you later? Swing by my room for a few drinks before we meet up with everyone else.” Evalin grinned, appeased for the moment. She was sure they would try to wrangle someone else into approving some other wild purchase before the sun set.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaving the kitchen, Carina strode to the garden where she was most likely to find her uncle. Indeed, he sat on a bench, pretending to read but mostly watching her Aunt Elain touch up on the garden. The quiet female was usually abroad, on a quest to classify plants across the continent, but did her best to come back for the holidays. Carina and her siblings had not a clue what sort of relationship these two had, even after decades. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning!” Her greeting was more enthusiastic than necessary, to break up any private moment she might be intruding on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina! You look so lovely,” Elain smiled at her, with warmth often not seen in the Night Court.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And that’s before my entire hair and makeup routine.” Carina flipped her hair once, for dramatic purposes. “Uncle Az, do you have a minute?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood. “Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They wandered over and Azriel put up a sound shield.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have a list of Fae we want you to pay some special attention to in the Summer Court. A few guards, two nobility, and one Priestess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took the piece of paper he held out for her. “I assume this is for my eyes only?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “It’s enchanted as well. In case you misplace it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina hoped that none of these individuals had any unfortunate connections to the Spring Court or Keir. It would surely put a damper on her vacation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you tonight then,” she stated, wanting to start getting ready as soon as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azriel patted her shoulder briefly. “Happy Nyansar. Oh, and if I might advise you, it could be helpful to have one of the guards help you investigate. Of course, only bring someone in if you trust them, but they do have access to gossip and rooms that you may not be privy to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll think about it. Maybe Reyna, if she comes.” Carina wasn’t sure she wanted anyone else involved, since they could face repercussions from Tarquin if caught spying. She was basically immune from any such punishments. “Happy Nyansar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several hours of beautifying and styling later, Stella and Carina inspected themselves in the floor length mirrors lining the large closet in her room at the House of Wind. Stella had embraced the theme of Starfall, with glitter </span>
  <em>
    <span>everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She had several silver star barrettes in her complicated up-do, some sparkly eyeshadow and highlighter stolen from Mor’s extensive collection. Her matching dress (also glittery, also silver) rose high on her throat and fell all the way to the floor in a sweeping skirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina had opted for an edgier look, in her usual black. The off-the-shoulder top remained tight down to her legs, with a slit that reached her hip. Supposedly, it made the dress easier to walk in, but truthfully it had her watching her step for fear of flashing the entire city if she tripped. She had pulled a few hairs back from her face with a small clip and applied dark makeup.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We look </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely </span>
  </em>
  <span>good,” Stella noted. Carina had to agree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Knock knock!” Evalin exclaimed from the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In here!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They came around the corner, holding two bottles of wine. “By the death gods, you two look amazing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As do you, you absolute angel,” Stella responded, grabbing and opening one of the bottles. Evalin grinned. They had braided their short hair into two braids and wore a royal blue jumpsuit embroidered with gold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon joined the three of them soon after, and the group made quick work of the wine. Evalin left to meet up with their friends, promising to share all the gossip over pastries tomorrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You leave tomorrow, right?” Stella asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon nodded. “Right after lunch. Gives us time to settle in before whatever massive dinner Tarquin will inevitably plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am so incredibly jealous,” she moaned. “You get to spend every night with him and his delicious son.” She got a scheming look on her face. “There must be a way you can sneak me for at least one night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon seemed a little too interested in the wine bottle he was holding. Carina guessed his mind had wandered to memories of flirting with Litus, the heir to the Summer Court. Nothing had ever happened between the two, but Carina felt a sudden inspiration to do some encouraging this trip. Maybe lock them in a room somewhere for a few hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure we could manage that,” Carina replied. “Have you winnowed in for one ball or another.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella clapped her hands and launched into a rant about what she imagined could happen at a Summer Court party. Her guesses were quite close, but a little more orgy-like than the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon laughed along with the more salacious ideas. After letting her go on for a few minutes, he cut in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now you absolutely have to come. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. But we should head downstairs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina chugged the rest of her drink and stood. “It does feel time for our dramatic entrance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grabbed Stella’s arm and winnowed her right to the doors of the large balcony where the celebration. Gaveon popped up right next to them and they did indeed make a beautiful dramatic entrance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The High Lord and Lady always gave some speech about the past year’s progress and love and other topics that Carina was sure the other attendees enjoyed. She was quite drunk by the time the speech ended, due to the drinking game the trio played. They all had to finish their drinks when Rhys and Feyre shared a romantic look that lasted more than 10 seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina was drunk enough, in fact, that when she saw Gaveon walk over to chat with Reyna and Bryce, she actually joined him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you two on duty or just perpetual wallflowers?” she asked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse her rudeness,” Gaveon chuckled, putting an arm around her shoulder. “She’s a little--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina scowled. “If you say drunk, I’ll shove that glass down your throat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re just enjoying the view,” Bryce replied, a small smirk on his face. “Betting on if any fights will start or nobility will pass out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reyna tilted her head. “Aren’t you going to be terribly hungover heading to the Summer Court tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reyna, sweet Reyna, I don’t do hangovers,” Carina decreed, in what she imagined was a very majestic tone. “If I feel one coming on, I simply don’t have it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two guards exchanged a glance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t bother,” Gaveon snorted. “She always waxes on like she’s saying something prophetic when she gets--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you say drunk, I will not be responsible for my actions,” Carina warned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An acquaintance from her mother’s paint shop pulled her away soon after for an enchanting conversation and then Carina found herself pulled onto the dance floor with Stella and some friends they often met at Rita’s. The night quickly passed, before the crowd all stopped their partying to observe the night sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the stars fell, Carina felt a silly urge to make a wish. She wanted so badly for all of her Court’s problems, from Keir to wing clipping to tensions with other continents, to vanish as brilliantly and quickly as the spirits did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Turns out, even princesses cannot decree a hangover away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking several large sips of water, Carina sat at the kitchen table in the river estate, looking as miserable as she felt. She had winnowed down here as soon as she’d woken, searching for a natural nausea remedy Nualla usually had in stock. The wraith had promised some pain relief, as well as a hearty lunch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite the hairstyle you have going on,” Rhys commented, placing a kiss on his daughter’s head as he walked in. The messiest of buns, falling off the side of her head, was a far cry from the elegance she had last night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take some pity on me,” Carina pouted. “I basically carried the party last night and now I feel I may die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed at her dramatics. “You always complain, but seem to perk back up quickly. Did you have Nualla prepare her remedy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s grabbing it for me now. And food, but we’ll see how that goes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She managed to eat half her plate, as the rest of the travelling group joined them. Gaveon looked tired, yes, but considerably better than her. Bryce looked annoyingly healthy and well-rested, while Reyna had the same unreadable vibe as always. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will avoid giving you any sort of lecture because I know you know how to handle yourself,” Rhys began. “I would simply remind you that this trip has more at stake than your normal...vacation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The others knew that certain diplomatic discussions were to be held, yet remained unaware of Carina’s true task. The list of suspects sat heavy in her pocket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate avoiding the lecture.” Carina stood, pulling her hair down and magicking a light coat of makeup on her exhausted face. “Now tell them all I’m in charge so we can leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will say no such thing.” Rhys hugged his children. “I’ll send your luggage right after you. Be safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon extended his arm to Bryce and Carina did the same with Reyna, before they winnowed off.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. i say casually in the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't really know what happened in this chapter except I wanted more banter. Also I miss parties (don't go to parties in a pandemic people).</p><p>Reviews and kudos are beyond cherished!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Landing on a large terrace overlooking Adriata, Carina opened her eyes to take in the Summer Court delegation that welcomed them. Tarquin led the way, looking gorgeous as ever in a sky blue tunic. He was accompanied by his son and several other High Fae that she had met before, as well as two Lesser Fae. The High Lord was known for scoffing at tradition when it came to members of his court, not unlike her parents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome back, my dear.” Tarquin enveloped her into a warm hug. “I’m absolutely thrilled to be hosting you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina grinned. She loved how friendly the male always was. “And I am just as thrilled to be back. You know Gaveon, of course, and these are our chaperones, Bryce and Reyna.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chaperones?” Tarquin laughed. “Aren’t you both a bit old for chaperones?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon stepped forward. “My darling sister wrecks havoc if left alone for too long. Thank you for letting us stay in your home.” Carina swore he directed the latter statement directly at Litus, who had been staring at her brother for the past two minutes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Drop the formalities and let us escort you to your quarters,” Tarquin insisted, turning to lead them into the palace. “Your father sent your bags ahead and we’ve already placed them in the common area.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they made their way to the guest wing, Carina took in the bright and colorful decor. She felt a small smile dance on her face, feeling much lighter than she had in weeks. The summer air made her problems and stress seem far, far away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guest wing contained several suites, meant to host groups that required close quarters. Tarquin gestured them into one such room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The living room was large enough for several couches, chairs, and coffee tables. One of the walls had a massive floor to ceiling window, providing a perfect view of the ocean below. Carina watched the sun rise from similar windows whenever she stayed up all night on previous visits.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reyna and Bryce selected the rooms on either end, leaving Gaveon and Carina to grab the ones in the middle. She almost rolled her eyes at their strategy. As if the two of them weren’t powerful enough to handle any unexpected attacks. To be fair, the royal children were planning on being less than sober and aware for most nights of the trip, so she understood why the guards tried to keep a better eye on them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all agreed to settle in for a couple hours before meeting up in the common area for a pre-dinner cocktail. Carina took advantage of her downtime and fell asleep on the huge, luxurious bed immediately after stripping off her dress.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She woke up right as the sun had begun to set. Stretching her arms way above her head, Carina sat up and ran a hand through her tangled hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the next twenty minutes, she had brushed her inky hair and pulled on a dark gold halter dress that sat tight on her chest and flowed loose from her waist. The straps that tied around her neck hung low down her bare back and matched the strappy sandals she pulled on. She dusted her cheeks and nose with some light gold highlighter, but opted for her usual dark eyeliner (even if it didn’t really match the rest of the look).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina walked out of her room and saw Reyna, Bryce, and Gaveon already seated at one of the tables. They each held a fancy, colorful drink in their hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where do I get one of those?” she asked. The Night Court could be so lazy with their choices in alcohol, sticking to traditional wines and liquors. These drinks looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon raised his glass, showing off the turquoise liquid and pink umbrella inside. “We’re not really sure. As soon as we sat down, they appeared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His statement was proven true a moment later when she sat down and a new drink popped onto the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes, this is a need and not a want when we get back,” she moaned, snatching the glass up. It was sweet and fruity and completely delicious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did he even know we planned on a cocktail before dinner?” Reyna inquired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina scoffed. “Because we’re normal and normal people drink before every social occasion.” She took another sip. “Isn’t one of you supposed to be attentive at all times or something else absurd?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce grinned. “Mine magically has no alcohol in it. I guess Tarquin doesn’t consider me a normal male.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are extremely uptight.” Carina leaned back into the cushions. “He always has been a great judge of character.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A knock interrupted their banter. Litus entered, looking gorgeously tan in a dusk blue matching tunic and pants with silver embroidery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I allowed to join the party?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Gaveon replied, a bit too quickly. Carina was going to have so much fun with these two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A drink appeared as Litus sat in one of the armchairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oooh how pretty!” Carina exclaimed. “It looks like a sunrise!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grinned. “One of our Summer Court specials. A bit of citrus juice and syrup.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all had a couple more drinks, with Tarquin’s magic providing several options for the group. As the sky darkened to a deep blue, a servant came to escort them downstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The High Lord had pulled out all the stops for their first night. Carina appreciated the elegance of the grand hall, where both High and Lesser Fae mingled around the banquet table. She swept around the room, greeting all the people she had met before and introducing herself to some of the new members of the court. She managed to hold a conversation with two of the names on her list, feeling a twinge of guilt as they went through social niceties. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, a bell sound rang through the hall, signaling the start of dinner. Carina found herself next to Gaveon and across from Litus, with Cresseida, Varian, and Tarquin nearby as well. She almost choked on her drink as Varian finished a story about Amren getting into a fight with a 20,000 piece puzzle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cresseida jumped on her as soon as everyone finished laughing. “So please, update us on your….situation with those detestable folk in that underground city.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tarquin cleared his throat. “Let’s not bring up business on the first night, Cresseida. We have plenty of time for that later on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She waved a hand. “Apologies. Carina, you and I will have to find time to chat privately. I would greatly appreciate hearing more about the tensions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Carina replied, a bit confused why the female was pushing the point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Appeased, Cresseida changed the conversation to the finalized construction on the artistic quarter of Adriata. Carina zoned out, knowing most of the details already. She highly doubted Tarquin’s cousin had any sort of evil intentions, but the interaction left her suspicious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After dessert, the whole party moved outside to the patio for the rest of the night’s celebration. Carina had just left an intriguing conversation with two water-wraiths about their customs for the Summer Solstice. As she scanned the crowd for her next target, she locked eyes with a handsome male, who started to make his way towards her. Eyes wide, she anxiously looked around for some sort of escape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank the Cauldron,” Carina gasped, grabbing Bryce’s arm and yanking him towards the wall. “Pretend like we’re talking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure we are talking,” he replied, confused. “Did you need something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She put a hand on her hip. “Cut the snark. Look over my shoulder, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>not right now wait a second, and let me know if that male in the green tunic is still walking over here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?” he demanded. “Did he do something? What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reign in the crazy Fae-male asshole attitude for a minute please,” Carina snapped. “I’m fine, he didn’t do anything, just tell me if he’s walking towards us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce sighed and glanced over her head. “The stocky one with curly hair? No, he’s chatting with some water-wraiths.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” She took a sip of her drink. Maybe her alcohol consumption affected her ability to think rationally about the situation and she had been a tad dramatic. “Pretend we’re talking for a bit longer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok,” Bryce agreed. “Who was that and why are you avoiding him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina suddenly found the flowers on the wall quite interesting. “Just someone I met last time. Huge bore, definitely nothing worth sharing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce snorted. “Absolutely not. You dragged me over here, I’m doing you a favor, so you owe me the details.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since when have you been such a gossip?” she retorted. When he looked unconvinced, she switched tactics. “It’s flattering to know you’re so interested in my life. I’m taking this as a compliment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, whatever, just tell me who he is,” Bryce grinned. “I’m much too invested now; I might just go directly to the source if you won’t say.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grabbed his arm, unwilling to call his bluff. “Fine you nosey prick! He’s one of the Fae I….engaged with. That time that I, uh, caused a minor political situation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce looked at her like she was spewing nonsense. Which she was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember what Stella was asking about? In the kitchen? Mother above, please don’t make me spell this out.” Carina almost growled at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, but I’m still lost,” he claimed. “I’ve never known you to be this shy about something. I am beyond interested now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had a threesome with him and the female vying for his spot as head of the culinary district,” she blurted out. “Tarquin had to get involved over a conflict of interest issue and neither of them got the role.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce blinked at her, silent for a full five seconds before a giggle slipped from his lips. Carina glared at him, daring him to laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think that was serious,” he finally chuckled, doing everything in his power to keep from bursting into a laughing fit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop laughing! Why would we have lied about that?” Carina finished the rest of her drink and magicked some water into the glass. She highly considered throwing it on him, but she was too dehydrated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce pulled a serious expression onto his face. “I don’t know, I just thought it was an exaggeration or an inside joke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re done making fun of my sexual history--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cut her off. “I’m sorry, I’m not making fun of you. It’s just, you know, unusual.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina noted a bit of worry in his eyes. Good. “I’m not constantly finding myself in these situations, I swear. It was one really strange night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had no idea why she felt the urge to clarify anything in that moment. Bryce hadn’t seemed judgemental or disgusted, just amused. But her brain had gone on red alert, in an almost defensive way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held his hands up. “I believe you. Not that it matters what I think. I think he left, so the coast is clear, by the way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina dared a peek and saw no sign of her former flame. Feeling more than a little self-conscious, she stepped away from Bryce and turned to go back to the party. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for...whatever that was,” she added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled and she felt a small flutter low in her stomach. He did have an unfairly sharp jawline for such an annoying personality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I’m here for. Ready to admit I’m not completely insufferable yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there was that personality. “Don’t hold your breath. I’ll see you later.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the party passed with, thankfully, no further awkward run-ins. A few hours before dawn, Carina and Gaveon stumbled back to the suite, laughing about something. Reyna had kept up with them for an impressive amount of time, before heading to bed a bit ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They collapsed onto one of the soft couches. Carina wiggled her shoes off and shoved her feet under Gaveon’s legs, keeping them warm like she always did as a child. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rini,” he drawled, his eyes fluttering closed as they both struggled to stay awake. “When are you planning on doing something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina giggled. He sounded so silly, drawing his words out slowly. “Doing something? What does that mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon gestured wildly at the empty room. “You know, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you always do something weird in the Summer Court. Like, like five years ago when you got yourself caught up in that whole drug smuggling ring. I wanna be there whenever you do something.” Carina swore he was actually pouting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not something I plan, things just happen,” she grumbled, pulling a pillow over her face. The room was spinning. “Watch me, I’m going to be so fucking mature this trip, everyone can suck my ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon started laughing again. The siblings just lay there for a few minutes, laughing on and off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door opened and Bryce walked in. He took one look at the two of them and rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I was ready to leave for the past two hours,” he complained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon opened his arms. “You never hug me, Brycie. I think we should all hug more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting some water. Don’t move.” Bryce strode over to a side table to grab a pitcher and two cups.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina frowned. “I hug you all the time. Why are you so focused on him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He looks so grumpy. Like Amren,” Gaveon explained. “Maybe if he hugged his friends more, he might smile.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has a very nice smile,” Carina agreed. Bryce whipped his head around, a look of surprise on his face. “Too bad his personality smells bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Drink these and go to bed,” Bryce shoved the glasses into their hands. “You’re both embarrassments to the Night Court.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon rolled off the couch and stumbled into his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gavy! Come back! I need to be carried,” Carina demanded. She was so drunk and so important; it didn’t make any sense for her to have to walk all the way to her bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good night,” her treacherous brother said sweetly, shutting the door behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina threw her head back and groaned. This couch was pretty comfortable; she could simply live here until her head stopped spinning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce sighed. “You can’t sleep there. Come on, I’ll help you.” He held out a hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes. “I’m not walking. Good night, Brycie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In a movement that stole the breath from her lungs, Bryce tossed her over his shoulder and started carrying her to her bedroom. She had to work decently hard to keep herself from vomiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did have amazing shoulders. His personality was seeming less and less annoying as time went on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stopped walking and helped her shimmy to the ground. Carina let herself fall backwards onto the silky sheets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so </span>
  <em>
    <span>controlling.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she squinted up at him, her eyes threatening to close all on their own. “Where does all this audacity come from?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce didn’t argue with her. “Now, a servant isn’t going to stumble upon the all-powerful Heir of the Night Court drooling on Tarquin’s expensive couch tomorrow morning. You can thank me when you wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmph. I still think you’re controlling and condescending.” She rolled onto her back, facing the ceiling instead of looking at him. “Especially since I am the all-powerful, princess, whatever you said.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell you what,” he started, balancing his hands on the edge of the bed. “Tomorrow, when you’re sober, you can boss me around all you want. If you remember this conversation, that is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was this his idea of a joke? The competitive part of her brain that refused to stand down from any challenge didn’t care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will remember this tomorrow and fully plan on making you regret that statement,” Carina retorted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce stood up and went to leave the room. “Somehow, I imagine I would enjoy that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She definitely didn’t have enough energy to unpack that statement, so she passed out.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. two steps ahead and staying on guard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I started drinking wine during this and am posting it ~pretty~ drunk so I'm sorry if it's bad :/ </p><p>We're getting closer to some ~feelings~ and some drama!</p><p>Reviews and kudos are so appreciated &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next week passed blissfully quickly. Carina found herself almost too busy to gather intelligence. She managed to clear four Fae on her list, after confirming they never communicated with anyone outside of the Summer Court and barely communicated outside the palace at all. One noble female had infuriatingly left Adriata for a vacation two days after the Night Court’s arrival, ruining any chance Carina had at investigating her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Plain and simple, she needed help. There were hours of meetings and ceremonial meals that seemed to go on forever. As the Heir, Carina was expected at all of them and even more private sessions with Tarquin’s inner circle. She couldn’t find enough time to inconspicuously stalk random people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her first thought was to ask Reyna for help. Azriel had recommended she ask one of the guards or servants to aid in the investigations. Something didn’t feel right about asking Reyna, though, since the guard had a strong sense of morality that might not be conducive to spying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina sighed. She didn’t really know any of the servants on the trip that well. That only left one unpleasant option. Asking Bryce for help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you look so disgusted?” Gaveon whispered, trying not to draw any attention to his sister’s distraction in the middle of a presentation about Adriata’s trade routes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just bored. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She thought into his head. She felt a little guilty for not including Gaveon in the plans, but his relationship with Litus gave Azriel some pause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina forced her focus back to the presenter in the front of the room. Just to their left sat Cresseida, who kept trying to catch her eye. Carina had gotten enough strange vibes from the High Lord’s cousin that she’d been heartily avoiding her for the entire visit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The presentation ended and everyone streamed out of the room, eager for lunch. Carina felt her own stomach growling in agreement. Unfortunately, her luck had run out and Cresseida cornered her at the banquet table, sliding into the spot right next to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina, dear, we still haven’t had a proper chance to catch up.” Cresseida smiled. “You don’t mind telling me how your family is doing, do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina forced her grimace down with decades of practice. “Of course not! Everyone’s wonderful and healthy.” She would try to keep her answers as vague as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh good,” Cresseida replied, stirring some milk into her tea. “How are your parents? Managing the Court during these times cannot be easy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re fine. I think they’re quite used to running the Night Court at this point,” Carina countered. If the female continued to ask vague questions, Carina was going to continue acting obtuse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They always have been an inspiration and role models for the rest of us Fae,” Cresseida chuckled lightly, “However, I do not envy having to oversee the...less pleasant groups.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not this again. In all her travels, Carina faced this issue and similar questions across Prythian. All the other High Lords and their respective courts wondered why her parents put up with the Hewn City and the Illyrian rebels. As if any of them understood how peace and public welfare required a stick-thin balance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Night Court has a long history filled with diverse people,” she responded. “There’s always been some conflict or another, but nothing unmanageable. I see how that might be difficult for courts with more homogeneity to understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cresseida stared at her, mouth slightly opened at Carina’s sharp tone. “I don’t see how that has anything to do with my question about your parents’ well being.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This conversation was veering into political headache terrority. She took a deep breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My apologies, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything,” Carina placated. “The situation is the same as it’s always been.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The female looked around and leaned in close, conspiratorially. “I heard that Keir is causing problems outside of his horrible city. I just wondered if--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to interrupt,” a voice cut her off. Carina turned to her unlikely savior. “But I have just received a message for Carina,” Bryce finished.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stood. “Enjoy the rest of your meal.” Her own plate forgotten, Carina followed Bryce out of the hall. They walked in silence all the way back to their suite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the door shut behind them, Carina turned to face him. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce blinked. “What’s what? Oh, the message. That was a complete lie; how did you not pick up on it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you just lied?” Carina asked. “Why? I’m missing lunch now.” She really tried not to pout, but her stomach made that difficult.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes. “Because you clearly didn’t want to be in that conversation and apparently I save you from awkward interactions now. Sorry, I won’t do it again.” He started to walk away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina grabbed his arm. “Stop it. I am incredibly grateful and you will definitely be doing it again.” He looked at her directly and she shrugged. “I get into all sorts of awkward interactions and Gaveon isn’t always around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce laughed a little, accepting her sort-of apology. “I’m glad to know my instincts were correct. Can I ask what she was drilling you about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina sighed. “Let’s find out how good Tarquin’s magic actually is and then I’ll spill all the dirty details.” She glared at the table and said “sandwiches” in the most authoritative tone she could muster. A whole spread of food and bread appeared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She inhaled the beautiful smell and piled up one of the small plates with all her favorites. Bryce did the same. As they sat with their full plates, he looked at her expectantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the deal with Cresseida? You’re leaving me hanging here. Again.” His tone was light and joking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina rolled her eyes, finally letting a grimace slide onto her face. “She’s been pestering me all week. I have no idea why, but she’s developed a sudden interest in my parents and their dealings with the Hewn City and the Illyrian rebels.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce looked down at his half-eaten sandwich. “I mean, you can’t really blame her for the curiosity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What could you possibly mean by that?” Carina demanded. “She has no business with the Night Court outside of official communications.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just meant that I understand why she’s curious.” Bryce ran a hand through his hair. “Nothing about the situation makes sense to anyone outside of the Inner Circle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why should an outsider get to know the situation?” she argued. “The stupid Court of Nightmares and stupid rebels are our issue to deal with, not someone else’s gossip.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce took an audible deep breath. “I don’t want to start a fight. But it’s not just gossip to some of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Us?” Carina challenged his choice of words immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head. “Never mind. She has no right to question the great authority of the Night Court and the Archeron family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina jumped in. “Stop it. We’ve been, I don’t know, almost friends recently and I feel as though you’re upset.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he relented. Putting down his plate, he shifted his body to fully face her. Carina felt a bit intimidated by the intensity of his gaze. “Honestly, it feels like there’s this wall of secrecy around your family that no one can penetrate. Even those of us that actually have a stake in this game.” His wings fluttered, as if to emphasize his point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Carina smirked. The joke was actually a way for her to grab another second to gather her thoughts. “Are you truly upset that we have some level of secrecy, like every single other independent nation, or are you upset you haven’t been personally updated in all areas?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce took a sip of water. “You must know that’s not the point. It’d just be nice to know if our Court is about to erupt into a civil war that could kill any civilian, not just those who live in a massive riverside estate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it makes you feel better, we’re all focused on avoiding violence.” Carina flipped her hair. “Shocking, I know, but the Archeron family is actively against the death of innocent Fae.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then tell me, is there a situation with Keir? Does he have any desire to push outside the Hewn City?” Bryce pushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shook her head. “Is that it? You could’ve asked me or Cassian that question months ago and we would’ve told you. If you really want to know, I’ll tell you everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would like to know.” He leaned back into the couch cushions. “And I’m not so sure Cassian would approve of you telling me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s utter nonsense and you know it,” she scoffed. “Cass loves you more than me or Gaveon and it absolutely shows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce developed an interest in the table, dragging one of his fingers along the edge. “He and I have some history that might suggest otherwise. ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina chose to ignore his confusing back-and-forth behavior and began updating him on Azriel’s intel. Bryce was a good listener, when he chose to stop riling her up for a damn minute, and she couldn’t deny the sense of relief that came with sharing her burden. Now was the perfect time to ask him for help with her spying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So we really have no proof,” Carina finished. “But Az is basically sure Keir has some sort of plan and some sneaky ally we don’t know about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I assume that this spontaneous trip has something to do with figuring it out?” Bryce guessed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” she nodded, taking a moment to finish her lunch. “This is our best shot at discovering any potential connection to the Spring Court and Tamlin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think he’d really get involved with Keir? Even if he wants some sort of revenge, it seems implausible.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I said!” Carina rolled her eyes. A rather bad habit of hers, one that she was unlikely to address. “But this was our easiest suspicion to investigate, so we started with it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce stood and started pacing the room. “Who else is involved in this plan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me,” Carina grinned, waiting for him to catch on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean who is actually gathering the intelligence?” he clarified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her smile grew. “Little old me. I’m very talented.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce scoffed. “You’re joking. A royal can’t spy on people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly what I think!” This was even easier than she’d thought. “Thank the Cauldron you’re joining the team.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? That’s not, you’re putting words in my mouth.” He glared down at where she sat calmly, smiling up at him with faux innocence, feet tucked under her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want information, you pay the price for it.” Carina wasn’t ashamed to say she pouted a bit. It probably wouldn’t work on him, stoic bastard, but it was worth a shot. And unless she was really reading into it, his expression did seem to soften.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you need me to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Bryce making his way down the list, Carina could actually breathe for the next few days. He worked much faster than she did, probably because he had actual free time, and had cleared all but two Fae. One day before the huge banquet planned for the end of their trip, Carina found him sitting in the common room, Gaveon and Reyna nowhere to be found.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any updates?” she asked, a bit breathless from her speed walk to the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing on Cressieda,” he replied, setting aside the book he’d previously been reading. “Her communications are impossible to get ahold of and her staff knows nothing more than idle gossip.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it,” Carina swore. The other remaining name on the list, a Lesser Fae who worked in the culinary district, was of no consequence compared to the noble Fae who sat at Tarquin’s right hand. “What else can we do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce shrugged. “We could consider the fact that she’s probably uninvolved. Carina, we haven’t found a shred of evidence implicating anyone. Maybe it’s time to move on from the Spring Court theory.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cauldron damn her, but every time he looked her in the eye and used her actual name, she felt a twinge. She really wanted to blame it on the mission at hand or discomfort over having him know her secrets. After all, the Heir to the Night Court couldn’t possibly have such low standards that she reacted to a male simply using her name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right.” Carina needed to put some space between them. “I am beyond ready to let this go and actually enjoy our last few days here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce smiled at that. “With all the spy activity out of the way, I can’t even imagine what sort of trouble you’ll get into.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door to the suite opened, revealing Litus. He looked lovely in a golden tunic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My apologies for the interruption.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina waved him in. “No apologies necessary. Can I help you with anything or did you just want my delightful company.” She pretended not to hear Bryce’s snort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Litus gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I was actually looking for your brother, but I would love to catch up with you. We’ve barely had any time together and you leave so soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That simply must be rectified,” Carina declared. “Let’s have several drinks and surprise my dear, sweet brother. I’m sure he’ll be here soon to change for dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce made some excuse and left the two heirs to their cocktails. Carina forced herself not to watch him go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did have a favor to ask you. My oldest friend, Stella, would love nothing more than to attend the final banquet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Easy. I’ll have someone approve her travel tonight,” Litus scoffed. “I trust she’ll only make the evening more fun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina grinned, thinking about how much more havoc she could wreck with Stella here. “She’s kept up with me for this long, hasn’t she?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon arrived soon after, blushing in the sweetest way possible when he spotted Litus. Carina took her leave then, leaving the two males to their hopeful glances and promising flirtation.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. we had this big wide city all to ourselves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was super trying to wrap up the Summer Court trip in this chapter but then I had a really cute lil side plot idea so uh that didn't happen. No it's actually fine because I"m hyping the fuq out of the final ball, so that now will have its own chapter. Read and review! I'll love and cherish you forever.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Heir to the Night Court was beginning to dread the end of her trip to the Summer Court. Not because of good weather and wonderful company, but because of the shame she felt in returning home empty-handed. Carina had found out no new information and had offended one of the High Lord’s Inner Circle. Cresseida was conspicuously avoiding her at every meal and meeting.</p><p>Lying flat on her back in the obnoxiously luxurious guest bed, Carina contemplated her failure. She had also wasted a perfectly good opportunity to handle all this stress and nervous energy. Using someone else’s body. Her avoidance of sexual relations within the Night Court had her celibacy streak going much longer than desired.</p><p>Tonight, she thought, staring at the elaborate chandelier above her. Even if my parents never let me help with another public safety issue, at least I’ll have gotten laid.</p><p>A ridiculous plan, but her only shot at salvaging her horrid mood.</p><p>The others noticed at breakfast. Reyna even broke her emotionless demeanor to hand Carina a large cup of tea and ask if she was feeling well. Gaveon made her a plate and Bryce did nothing helpful.</p><p>“I’m fine, I’m fine, just didn’t sleep well,” she grumbled, secretly enjoying the attention.</p><p>“Looks like it too,” Gaveon snarked, throwing a slice of apple at her head. She caught it and threw it back. “Maybe take a nap or invest in some better under-eye concealer.”</p><p>Carina was about to provide a response, aiming for witty and sarcastic, when one of the guest bedroom doors opened. Gaveon’s. The Heir of the Summer Court walked towards them.</p><p>“Good morning.” Litus’s smile was truly brilliant like the sunrise. Carina understood her brother’s attraction completely.</p><p>Her brother that was currently blushing absurdly. </p><p>“Litus, my dear, explain something really quickly,” Carina began, looking for revenge for the concealer comment, “why would a prince, who I assume has some excellent bedchambers, spend the night in a lowly guest suite?”</p><p>Bryce nodded along. “I know I have no title or noble blood, but I was actually wondering the same exact thing.”</p><p>Gaveon frowned. “Since when do you go along with her bits? Litus, ignore them.”</p><p>He did not ignore them and instead the five Fae finished eating together, before taking off to their respective days.</p><p>After a shower that might’ve run longer than needed, allowing for some her-time, Carina wandered back out into the common room, unsure of what to do with herself. Stella wasn’t arriving until after lunch and Gaveon had offered to handle the last few presentations today with Litus. She really should’ve trained or exercised, but her hair was naturally curling too nicely for that to be an option.</p><p>Maybe the library would be a good waste of a few hours. She knew her way around the palace and Adriata well enough to not need a guide. Ducking back into her chambers to grab a pair of sandals to match her seafoam green jumpsuit.</p><p>Bryce sat on one of the couches, reading a book when she reappeared. The book looked exceedingly dull; some history of Adriata with maps involved.</p><p>“Do you usually read such thrilling material?”</p><p>He closed it, not bothering with a bookmark. “We don’t have a great selection in here,” he replied, gesturing to the slim bookcase across the room.</p><p>Carina frowned. “Just go to the library then.” A moment later, she understood. “Oh, you don’t know where the library is.”</p><p>“How would I know where the library is?” he shot back, crossing his arms. “I’ve never been here before and I’ve been running around on your little spy mission the entire time.”</p><p>“Ugh, you always get so defensive. Are you actually looking for a book or simply bored?” Carina remembered their conversation in Velaris and felt a twinge of guilt that she hadn’t offered to show him around Adriata. Those stupid twinges.</p><p>“What are you offering?” Bryce asked, letting most of his defensive tone slide away but still looking a bit suspicious.</p><p>“I’ll take you around Adriata.” Carina glanced at the clock. “We have a few hours before lunch and you’re technically supposed to be ‘guarding’ me anyways. Whatever that means.”</p><p>Bryce jumped up and couldn’t seem to control a childish grin that crept onto his face. “Yes. Okay. Let’s go.”</p><p>Carina laughed at his obvious eagerness. He went towards the door, but she held out a hand.</p><p>“We can winnow from the balcony, if we fly out a few feet. I hate all those stairs.”</p><p>He looked at her for a second, then followed her towards the large glass doors. “Sorry, I always forget you can fly. And have, you know, wings.”</p><p>That remark never sat well with Carina. She kept her wings hidden most of the time, for convenience and security, which meant she was even less comfortable each time she had them out for extended periods of time. Many High Fae in the Night Court preferred her and Gaveon that way, with their wings hidden and part of their identity smothered.</p><p>She chose to ignore it for the sake of the morning. Instead, Carina extended her wings to their full length and jumped into the warm, salty air. She grabbed Bryce’s hand as soon as they were clear of the wards and winnowed them to a side street near the docks.</p><p>“Where should we go first?” Carina asked, vanishing her wings again. “We’re near the docks, where most of the action is, but we could also head over to the arts district that everyone is obsessed with.”</p><p>Bryce looked around at all the Fae, High and Lesser alike, that passed by. The docks had numerous stalls and merchants selling all sorts of trinkets, food, and supplies.</p><p>He grinned at her. She couldn’t help but smile back. “Let’s just explore.”</p><p>And explore they did. Carina absolutely loved getting lost in a city, talking to anyone she pleased, and spending her parents’ money on whatever caught her eye. Bryce seemed to be in a better mood than she’d ever seen him in before, actually chatting with her. His eyes tried to capture every tiny detail of the foreign city, his head darting around like a little kid. </p><p>Carina tried not to laugh when he almost toppled a table full of spices in his excitement, but a giggle slipped out.</p><p>“Don’t laugh,” he warned.</p><p>“I’m trying not to! But this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you,” she responded. “Seriously, if all it took for us to get along was taking you places, I might’ve tried this ages ago. Probably not, because I’m extremely petty, but it’s very good to know.”</p><p>Bryce grumbled a bit, but she could tell he was enjoying himself too much to really care. After several more minutes of strolling and poking fun at each other, the pair found themselves in the renowned arts district.</p><p>Carina breathed in the scent of paint. She had basically no artistic talent, despite many hours as a child watching her mother create masterpieces. Instead, she let the bustling district remind her of those cherished memories with Feyre and let herself appreciate the beautiful chaos.</p><p>“How do they even paint that? It’s unbelievable,” Bryce marvelled, fixated on a painting of mountain sky, so realistic it could’ve been stolen from a memory. “I’d swear it looks just like the view from Snowshoe if we weren’t in Adriata.”</p><p>“Buy it,” Carina replied, eager to check out some of the jewelry shops to find a gift for Evalin.</p><p>Bryce frowned at her. “I don’t need a painting. Where would I even hang it? Besides it’s probably expensive and-”</p><p>“Hi, can we get this one wrapped up and sent to the palace?” Carina cut him off, waving one of the attendants over. “Are you the artist?”</p><p>The Lesser Fae, tall and thin, started wrapping the paper with dark green hands. “No, that would be my father. He travels all over Prythian to paint some of the best landscapes.”</p><p>Carina clapped her hands. “Oh how wonderful! See Bryce, it could be from Snowshoe or a similar camp.” She checked the tag on the back of the painting and handed the attendant the corresponding pile of gold coins.</p><p>“Carina, stop, you don’t have to buy it for me,” Bryce whispered, as the Fae went to process the transaction. </p><p>“I thought you only saw me as a spoiled, rich princess,” she pouted. “I’m simply trying to live up to that stellar image.”</p><p>He groaned, but she shoved a hand over his mouth before he could continue complaining. “One of us is hanging this up somewhere, and I already have too much art. So it has to be you.”</p><p>Surprisingly, he didn’t lick her hand like someone less mature might. The fact that her brain even thought about whether or not he might lick her hand was too troubling to even acknowledge.</p><p>“I absolutely have to get Evalin something shiny or they might lock me out of the river house.” She all but pushed Bryce out the door and towards the stores.</p><p>As the sun rose higher in the sky, they unfortunately had to start heading back to the palace to prepare for lunch. Carina felt an urge to rip her hair out at the two hours of final negotiations and trade discussions that awaited her.</p><p>“Let’s walk back,” she declared, spinning to face Bryce lagging behind her. </p><p>“Won’t that cut into your hair and makeup time, princess,” he teased.</p><p>She smiled. “They’ll have to take me as I am. However horrifying and sweaty I look.” She could’ve sworn Bryce mumbled something like “impossible” under his breath.</p><p>“Why did you buy that painting?” Bryce changed the subject, rather abruptly. </p><p>Carina twisted a loose strand of hair around one of her fingers. “Am I not allowed to do something nice for you? You said you liked it.”</p><p>“Don’t answer a question with a question. I’m just wondering if there was a reason.”</p><p>Carina actually thought about it for a second. Part of her wanted to explain that she simply was impulsive with buying gifts and loved spending her parents’ obscene wealth on actual Fae, instead of hoarding it like dragons. But really, there was something else to it.</p><p>“I’ve never heard you talk about your war camp or your life before coming to Velaris.” She pointedly looked directly ahead and not at his face next to her. “I don’t know if that’s because you hated it, loved it, or just didn't care about it, but you seemed excited to see a familiar landscape.”</p><p>“You bought it because it reminded me of a war camp?” Bryce asked, a bit of sarcasm slipping into his tone.</p><p>“Yes you idiot. I have no idea what it’s like to completely leave my home behind. Sorry for assuming anything.” Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to get back to the palace quickly.</p><p>“Carina, I was joking.” He caught her arm to stop her from storming away. “The view is probably the only thing I miss about Snowshoe. And thank you.”</p><p>“Glad to know you have some manners,” she huffed. She scoured for any subject change to avoid asking him more about his childhood, like she really wanted to. “Are you the sober chaperone tonight or is it Reyna?”</p><p>“Neither,” he replied, taking the easy route away from a hard topic. “Cassian sent us a message last night. He’s sending a couple other guards with Stella so we can both take a night off.”</p><p>“Oh shit, that’s really sweet of him.” Carina considered this development for a second. “That’s not typical Cassian behavior.”</p><p>Bryce nodded in agreement. “I was surprised too. Weird of him to suddenly go soft on us, but I’m not going to complain.”</p><p>They’d made it back to the front gates. As excited as she was for lunch, Carina found herself already missing their time exploring Adriata. She hadn’t felt that relaxed or smiled that easily in months.</p><p>“I’ll see you later,” she said, turning down the hallway that would take her to the main hall. “No need for you to suffer through these last hours of meetings.”</p><p>“I can figure out when Stella arrives and help her get settled,” Bryce offered. “Have fun with your business friends.” He shot her a grin before walking in the opposite direction.</p><p>He knew Stella was arriving with her own guards and would receive a warm welcome from Tarquin’s staff. Was he offering to help because he was bored? To show some comradery? Or was he eager to spend time with her best friend? Stella had been around for all those weeks Bryce was friending her brother while Carina visited the Winter Court. There was a more than zero chance that something had developed between the two, annoyingly pretty and heterosexual that they both were. </p><p>Wait what? She needed to get her overthinking and strange new obsession under wraps. Stella would have mentioned if something happened and Carina had no reason to have any sort of warm, fuzzy feelings for Bryce.</p><p>She was distracted throughout lunch and the Summer Court Fae definitely noticed, but had enough manners to ignore her absent-mindedness. Cresseida made a slightly insulting remark about how she was probably too focused on her outfit for the ball tonight, which Carina forced a chuckle at. Mercifully, Tarquin cut the discussion off before the designated two hours were up, telling everyone to relax and pamper before the night’s festivities. </p><p>Carina heard the scream before she fully entered the suite. </p><p>“RINI!” Stella launched herself off the couch and crushed Carina into the tightest hug. “How do you look so good? Refreshed, flourishing, tan, healthy, but honestly your hair is a complete rat’s nest so we should get started on that-”</p><p>“Stella, darling, obviously beyond thrilled that you’re here, but give me five seconds to decompress.” Carina threw herself onto the nearest chair. “The endless meetings are finally over and the stupid taxation negotations can suck my ass.”</p><p>“Charming,” Stella replied. “And take your five seconds, because we have three hours of Tarquin-sponsored pamper time with Litus and Gaveon starting very soon.”</p><p>She perked up at that. Quite simply, she couldn’t think of a better way to get herself out of this Bryce-induced funk and into a proper party mood than several spa treatments. All while taunting her brother and his lover. The perfect end to a boring trip.</p><p>Carina sighed internally, realizing that this would indeed be her first Summer Court trip without any dramatics or scandal. Unless something major managed to happen in the next 12 hours, that is.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'all I ran out of ideas for this chapter and then went a little wild on the emotions. Idk what I'm doing. Pretty please read and review :)</p><p>The dress inspo came from Lupita Nyong'o at the 2014 Oscars and Rachel McAdams at the 2016 Oscars. </p><p>TW: mentions of drug use (no mention of addiction or bad side effects, but do not read if this could harm you)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The General landed hard in the middle of the training ring, purposefully cracking the dirt with the force of his arrival. All of the males training jumped out of his way, except one elder who stood on the side, arms crossed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To what do we owe this fine pleasure,” the war lord drawled, avoiding any use of a title or proper acknowledgement. Unfortunately, Cassian was extremely familiar with this prick and his centuries of hate towards bastards, especially those who had the audacity to rise in the ranks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roban. Walk with me.” Cassian turned towards the nearby woods, not looking back to see if the hostile Illyrian would follow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After placing sufficient distance between them and the rest of the camp, Cassian continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, this isn’t a social call. I’m here to make it clear that you are forbidden from contacting anyone outside this Cauldron-forsaken camp.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roban sneered. “You and your half-breed High Lord told me this decades ago. What has you so nervous that you flew all the way here to remind me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cassian growled. He knew this trip was basically pointless, but Rhys and Feyre had begged him to check in on the situation. “You’re lucky we didn’t kill you or strip you of your position. I’m also here to run a full inspection on your training schedule and how the females are progressing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m honored to have your interest and attention,” Roban replied, dripping in sarcasm. “Welcome to Snowshoe, bastard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you,” Stella complained, as she helped Carina apply a light coat of eyeliner. The females had their choice of makeup artists who offered to help them prepare for the ball, but instead chose to spend some quality time alone. “Does this mean you’re mature? Too grown-up for shenanigans?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carina ignored her oldest friend for a minute. Seriously, why was everyone and their mothers obsessed with her history of scandal in the Summer Court?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let it go before I have you kicked out,” she warned, adding a smoky touch to her eyelids. “You and Uncle Cass can be banned from Adriata together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The afternoon of pampering and weeks in the sun had been good for her, she noted as she stared in the mirror. Her skin was darker than normal, making her look less like her mother’s daughter and more like a true Illyrian. Carina was thrilled to see her eye bags vanished and hair gleaming from whatever magic occurred in Tarquin’s personal spa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt something in the air, something promising change. Her instincts were screaming that tonight, this final revel in the Summer Court, would be like standing on the edge of a cliff. Carina couldn’t put it into words, but she knew to trust in her gut and be ready for something monumental.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she didn’t strangle any of her friends before then, that is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stella pouted for a bit, until a servant came in carrying their outfits. She gasped as she threw open the packaging, holding up a gown in the most gorgeous shade of green.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this mine? Is it yours? How do we tell? On the Mother, Carina, you have to feel this fabric,” Stella sighed, happily running her hands over the silk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carina waved her hand to clear all the makeup off the vanity and turned to inspect the packaging. She grabbed the attached note.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sure you have plenty of options to wear tonight, but I had to send some customized gowns from my favorite local seamstress. You’re welcome to disregard them in favor of Night Court apparel, but know I will be utterly heartbroken. Litus.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That prick! We’ll have to wear them, of course.” Carina smiled and picked up the other gown. The soft and fluffy fabric was a stunning shade of light blue, reminding her of clear skies on a cold mountain. The cut was simple, but the waistline and straps had subtle embroidery that almost looked like stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another hour of preparation and gushing over Litus’ gifts later, Stella and Carina stepped out into the common area. Gaveon did not disappoint with his reaction, jumping out of his chair and giving them a good, old-fashioned whistle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that Summer Court fashion I see?” he gasped, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. “Where did you get such marvelous gowns?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carina rolled her eyes, but gave him a little spin to show off the low back and flowing skirt. “You were with him when he bought them, weren’t you? Asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stella gave a much more gracious response. “Aren’t they just lovely? And what a miracle to see Rini out of her typical black?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carina would have loved to strike back with some witty response, but her focus had completely shifted. Bryce, sitting next to Gaveon, caught her eye, his expression unreadable. He didn’t look away, even when her eyes locked on his. Stella followed her gaze after an awkward pause, but misconstrued the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Brycie, love, don’t tell me you're hogging all of that delightful cocktail,” Stella admonished, breaking off the elongated look. He grinned at her and went to pour several more cups from the large pitcher in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed your ugly nicknames and alcoholism this past two weeks,” Bryce remarked. “One of my new acquaintances recommended we try the sangria.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon chimed in. “They mix wine and liquor and fruit. Truly genius, if you ask me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina, feeling a bit flushed and tense, drank half her glass in one go. She had found herself victim to sangria before, but the drink was remarkably efficient in getting her buzzed. Reyna was talking, introducing the new guards who would be on duty tonight, but Carina focused on calming herself down instead. It made no sense why all these stupid feelings around Bryce were growing, instead of going away. She needed to pull herself together and stop acting like a Cauldron-damned adolescent waiting for their first kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She snuck another look at him. Okay, this time was much easier. He looked breathtakingly handsome in a dark blue doublet and with a brush of highlighter on his cheeks. Not that he ever looked ugly, that annoying prick, but tonight there was something more to it. Carina turned her gaze back to the rest of the group before anyone would notice her creepy staring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“--an when I got back to the room, I found the most mortifying note from Tarquin.” Gaveon was in the middle of some story, maybe from this afternoon. “I mean, I had guessed he knew something was going on, but he addressed it so bluntly!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did it say?” Stella prompted. “Hope my son is satisfying you? Let me know if you have feedback?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce grimaced. “You made it weird, Stells. I’m sure he was a bit more subtle than that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stells? Carina scoffed internally. She thought he hated the stupid nicknames Stella assigned to all her friends, but here he was, playing along. That annoyed her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ew. He wasn’t gross,” Gaveon clarified. “The note just made it clear that I didn’t have to sleep in the guest wing next visit.” He stretched out his arms, smiling as he played up the drama of his story. “That I was more than welcome in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>family</span>
  </em>
  <span> wing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You treacherous slut!” Carina exclaimed, grateful for the opportunity to jump in the conversation. “One week with him and you’re basically ready to move in, leaving your poor, sad family behind.” She sipped her drink. “The sex better be fucking incredible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The clock struck 20 bells, letting the group know it was time to head downstairs. As she finished her second (maybe third) glass, Bryce offered her his hand. She shot him a confused glare, but took it nonetheless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those skirts look, uh, difficult to walk in,” he said by way of explanation, before shoving his hand into his pockets and turning away quickly to catch up with Gaveon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amazing. He was acting just as foolish and awkward as she was. Someone needed to get their head on straight, and quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The royal family stood at the entrance of the massive hall, greeting their guests. Litus smiled broadly when the Night Court delegation approached, even daring to give Gaveon a light peck on the cheek. His mother, Tarquin’s surrogate who surprisingly did not have any formal role in the court, greeted them as well. The High Lord had yet to take on a serious romantic partner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Stella whispered at the sight of the decor. The entire room looked as though it was bathed in a sunset, with golden light reflecting off of four large fountains in each corner that sounded like ocean waves. The walls were draped with strings of light, except for the far side that opened into a massive balcony overlooking the actual ocean. Carina saw more flowers than she could ever name, in so many colors that would make even her Aunt Elain’s head spin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not used to all this color, are we?” Carina joked, elbowing Stella towards the main table and their seats. “Mommy and Daddy dearest don’t know how to decorate with anything besides black and silver.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reyna snickered lightly. “I saw Lord Rhysand wear dark maroon one time and almost fainted in surprise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After an amazing meal, the true event began. Fae of all species rushed to the empty space in the hall and on the balcony to dance. Carina accepted Litus’ hand and the two Heirs spun around the crowd for the first few dances, getting to know each other better without her brother’s commentary getting in the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they parted, as Carina encouraging him to stop Gaveon’s pouting and dance with him instead, Litus leaned in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In about an hour, some of my friends and I will be moving up to my chambers for a more intimate gathering,” he whispered conspiratorially. “Gives us a chance to act like immature idiots without my parents and their friends judging us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina kissed him on the cheek. “Sounds like my kind of party. Stella and I will for sure be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what of our dear Bryce?” Litus asked, in a tone too sweet to be truly innocent. “Surely you’ll invite him too. Wouldn’t want him missing out on any fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shot him a suspicious look. She hadn’t been obvious with her staring and flustered mind, had she? “Don’t sound so eager, darling, or I’ll assume you want him there for some sort of orgy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cheeky. I’m leaving you for your brother now.” Litus gave her one last wink before strutting off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina rolled her eyes and went to find her friends. Stella was chatting away with a short Lesser Fae who had unproportionally long fingers. Carina only noticed because the female waved them around as she spoke, almost hitting anyone within a few feet radius.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella introduced her as the seamstress who made their gowns and Carina gushed over the design for a few minutes. After the Fae left to get another drink, she insisted that they go watch the final rays of the sunset from the balcony.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not being very social tonight,” Stella noted, grabbing them both some bubbly drinks off a passing tray. “Usually you’re mingling with everyone and anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I’ve met basically half this party already,” Carina sighed, suddenly feeling bored with the whole ordeal. “I know this is a huge event and it’s partially for me, but I’m a bit sick of being around a massive crowd.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella frowned, looking her up and down. “Do you want to leave?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From behind them, a deep voice asked “Are you leaving?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit!” Carina exclaimed, spinning to face Bryce. “Give a girl some warning, creep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He merely smiled at her and clinked his glass against hers. “I’d have thought you’d never leave a party thrown in your honor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! Well, not yet. Litus invited us to his chambers in a bit for some small gathering.” Carina sipped her drink. “I think it’ll be a younger crowd, more shenagings. That’ll perk me back up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, I might be crazy, but are you sure it’s not an orgy?” Stella asked. “Because it sounds a bit like an orgy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, obviously my brother’s lover invited me to an orgy with my brother present,” Carina retorted. “Of course it’s not an orgy. That’s disgusting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce glanced between the two of them. “I feel like you two always end up on some weird tangent.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re invited too. Litus asked for you specifically,” Carina smirked at him. “He doesn’t even play for my team, so really you should be the most worried about sexual deviancy tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately, I don’t play for his team so I’ll have to pass.” Did he look right at her when he said that or was she imagining it? “However, I’m flattered that a Heir to a Court would be interested in boring, old me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That comment felt targeted. Like really targeted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella laughed. “Cheers to that! To those of us without titles.” She clinked her glass against his and they both finished their drinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and watch the sunset, idiots,” Carina scowled. She turned to face the view, but swore she could feel Bryce step slightly closer to her. His warmth seeped through her thin dress and his scent was extremely distracting. She needed more to drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun sunk fully below the horizon and most of the crowd went back to dancing. Gaveon ran up to them, grabbing his sister’s arm and giving her a quick squeeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did Litus invite you? We’re heading up there now,” he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be honest, Gavy, and tell us if this is going to be an orgy,” Stella asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No, of course not. Cauldron, you two are weird.” He shook his head. “I think there might be some...party favors, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina knew what </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>meant. Rich children loved nothing more than spending money on expensive and sometimes hard-to-find substances.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be up there as soon as we can.” She was very intrigued to see what Litus managed to get his hands on, her strange mood slowly passing as they prepared to leave the main party.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few kisses on cheeks and farewells later, Carina led Stella and Bryce towards the royal family’s wing. Reyna had seemed very engaged in conversation with one of Tarquin’s high-ranking guards, so they left her to her flirting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Litus’ “little gathering” consisted of about twenty Fae, many of whom Carina recognized vaguely. Glittering balls of light floated around the room, illuminating everyone in a dim, colorful glow. The crowd seemed to sway together to the soft, hypnotic music that drifted towards the three of them as they entered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we try to find Gaveon?” Carina asked, frowning at the idea of shoving her way through crowded bodies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not worth our time,” Stella decided. “He’ll find us if he wants to. Oh look, wine tag!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Indeed, a group had commandeered a table to play Stella’s favorite drinking game. She grabbed Carina and Bryce’s shoulders, pushing them towards the game. Halfway across the room, Bryce leaned over to whisper into her ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we talk at some point? I have something I want to tell you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shot him a concerned glance, but they’d already arrived. One of the males, looking relatively sober, grinned as they approached.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you Carina Archeron?” he asked. “Terrifying Heir to the Night Court?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave him a little hair flip, for the drama. “That’s me. I have to say, I rather enjoy being known as terrifying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The male stuck out a hand. He was rather handsome, with golden hair and even more golden skin. “I should also add beautiful to that description. My name is Matheus.” She shook his hand, ready to flirt back before Stella interrupted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes she’s lovely, but more importantly, do you have room for another player?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Matheus and his friends laughed and adjusted the teams to make space for her. Carina declined, really against the idea of chugging the dark, sweet wine, and Bryce did nothing but send a glare Matheus’ way. The blonde pretended not to notice his hostility and Carina pretended not to notice the flutter in her stomach. Cauldron, this fixation was getting out of hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quick question, before you get too drunk,” she purred into Matheus’ ear, definitely not to incite any sort of reaction in the Illyrian next to her. “Do you know where a girl can get her hands on something stronger than alcohol?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Matheus grinned and pointed her towards one of his friends, a blue-skinned female who looked like she could be a water wraith’s third cousin twice removed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever tried lightseeker?” the female asked, after introducing herself as Cladia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet, but sounds delightful,” Carina replied, looking at the small vial of silver, thick liquid. “What are the effects?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cladia shrugged. “Nothing exciting, but it's the best euphoric the Summer Court has to offer. You’ll be laughing for hours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina needed that. She even tried to pay her, but the female just winked and told her she might need a friend in the Night Court at some point. That comment was a bit ominous, but since there hadn’t been an official bargain, it probably was nothing to worry about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce listened to the whole interaction without saying a word. She finally turned to look at him, vial in hand, and broke the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you going to say anything?” She was starting to get annoyed with his mime act. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to say?” he responded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shook her head and grabbed his arm, steering them away from the wine tag game and towards an empty corner. Carina sat down on the floor, right behind a couch so they were mostly hidden from view. He gave her a questioning look, but sat down anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re being strange,” she started, fluffing out her long skirt to avoid looking at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you pull me over here? I thought you’d want to stay and socialize with the group,” Bryce challenged leaning forward to catch her eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to yell at me if I take this?” Carina held up the lightseeker. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce laughed and threw his hands up in exasperation. “Are you going to care if I do? You’re an adult, make your own decisions. I don’t understand why we’re even having this conversation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Carina didn’t either, but she also didn’t want it to end. She popped the top off and poured the liquid straight down her throat. It burned a bit, but the sensation was more warming than uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like it when you’re mad at me,” she admitted, finally looking him in the eye. “Even if you have no right to tell me what to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce laughed again, but softer and more genuine this time. “You are, without a doubt, the most confusing person I’ve ever met.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes latched onto his like a moth towards a flame. Carina couldn’t have looked away, even if she wanted to. Suddenly, a wave of emotions hit her like a Cauldron-damned tidal wave. The room seemed to shift onto its side as she took in Bryce’s face, his scent, his body, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her eyes widened, mouth opening slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reacted similarly, as if he felt the same shift she did. 3 breathless seconds past, he opened his mouth to speak;</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she burst into laughter. Carina threw her head against the back of the couch and </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughed. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She’d never felt so light, so happy.  The glittering lights were the most fantastic thing in the world and she was mesmerized by the dancing colors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my word,” she breathed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce exhaled and ran a hand over his face. “The drugs kicked in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could do nothing but grin at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need some fresh air.” He stood up, brushing some dust off his pants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait! Stay here,” Carina giggled, reaching a hand up for him. “Tell me whatever it is you wanted to tell me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked at her outstretched hand as if it pained him, then turned away without another word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carina was confused. Maybe if it weren’t for the drugs racing through her system, she would even feel angry at the dismissal. But mostly, she wanted to watch the lights dance, so she lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After several hours, or maybe ten minutes, a familiar face poked over the couch and looked down at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatcha doing?” Gaveon asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled at him, taking a couple seconds to think of an answer. “Watching the lights.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumped over the couch and sat next to her. “Sorry I missed your arrival. I watched Stella absolutely destroy some of Litus’ friends at wine tag for a bit. She mentioned you might be high.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes. I am that. For sure.” Carina placed her hands on either side of his face. “I am so happy to see you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He patted her head. “Should we get you to bed?” She sat up slowly and let him help her rise to her feet. A thought occurred to her as they started to walk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’d he go?” she mumbled, looking around the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who? Bryce?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “He was on the floor with me at one point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon scowled. “And he just left? He shouldn’t have ditched you alone like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sweet, sweet Gavy, you’re so sweet.” She let out another laugh. “I could fight anyone in this room. I will fight everyone in this room.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Frida, one of the guards Cassian sent, appeared in front of them. “Can I help with anything, Lord Gaveon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon groaned. “Please, really don’t use titles with us while we’re intoxicated. And yes, actually it’d be amazing if you could get her to our suite.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am so very capable of walking, Frida, don’t listen to him,” Carina insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it alright if I just escort you then?” he asked, doing his best to keep a straight face. She held out an arm, in a manner that was surely very proper and distinguished, and allowed him to steer her away from the party.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See you bright and early tomorrow, Rini,” Gaveon yelled from behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On their walk back, Carina marvelled at how pretty the palace was. It felt like she was visiting for the first time, caught up in the details of the decor. Frida kept gently encouraging her to keep walking when she would stop and stare at random points along the way. Finally, he opened the door to their suite and led her inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lightseeker was still in her system, but the effects were starting to fade. As Carina came back to herself, she realized two things. One, her brain was far from tired and ready for bed. Two, she hadn’t taken advantage of this trip to scratch her itch. The party had been her best option for finding someone willing to help her break her celibacy, but now she was back in her room. Frida seemed nice enough, but there was an unfortunate power dynamic and her rule about sleeping with Night Court Fae that made that unlikely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I can take it from here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina snapped out of her desperate thoughts at the sound of Bryce’s voice. Her body reacted, unconsciously, with a small shudder. She saw him stand from one of the chairs as Frida gave her look, trying to gauge how she felt about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shot him a winning smile. “Thank you for walking me back. Go enjoy your night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded, bidding them a good night before leaving. A tense silence followed his departure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina could have used a second dosage at that moment. She didn’t fully understand why the situation felt so awkward, considering they’d gotten along perfectly that morning. Had she said or done something under the influence to offend him? She remembered a short conversation, but nothing scandalous or upsetting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She did what she usually did when a situation felt out of her control: make it worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina rolled her eyes and strutted over to the couch nearest the fireplace. She lit the logs with a flick of her hand. She reached up and yanked the clips out of her hair, letting it flow freely down her back. Only then did she look at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was your night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce stared at her, for an uncomfortable amount of time, as if she was a puzzle he needed to solve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting really tired of this silent treatment.” Carina needed him to react, say something, to make her understand why things had seemingly taken a turn for the worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t seem so happy anymore,” Bryce commented, as if she hadn’t said anything at all. “Did the drugs finally wear off?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sounded exactly like the old Bryce, the standoffish guard who grated her nerves to no end. It hurt more than she’d care to admit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it’s about the fucking drugs,” Carina retorted, letting that hurt mold into anger. “Congratulations, you ruined my high and my night. Have fun getting off to your moral superiority, bastard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you give me one fucking hour to figure things out?” he burst out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Figure what out?” Carina didn’t think they were talking about lightseeker any more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce shook his head. “Sorry, it’s late and I don’t know what I’m saying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This conversation felt all too familiar. Every time he started to rage at her, every time she felt like they were getting a little closer to some fundamental issue, he apologized and backed off. Yet, it kept happening. And she still felt so unresolved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to bed,” she finally replied. “I give up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina.” Bryce half stood, hand up as if he might reach for her. “This isn’t how I wanted tonight to go, please, can we talk tomorrow? Back in Velaris?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t have it in her to reply and keep herself from crying. She hated how much her mood had changed in the past few minutes and how little she understood why. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without replying, Carina Archeron pushed herself off the couch and walked into her bedroom, alone for the night.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. i'll tell you the truth but never goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh hey, I'm back. So I was writing my other fic (Your Eyes Whispered), then realized they both occur in the same ~universe~, but this story happens first. IDK, it makes sense in my brain. Basically, I'm gonna keep this one going for at least a few more chapters until I get to where the other story makes sense, and then I'll try to update both semi-regularly.</p><p>Anyways, read on for some bratty Carina, nervous Bryce, and even a sprinkle of snarky Cassian!</p><p>Reviews and kudos are loved and cherished :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Whatever bullshit you two are going through needs to end.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina frowned into her pillow. Gaveon had slammed her bedroom door shut a second ago and started yelling, like an overdramatic alarm clock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She flipped her head to look at him as he took a seat on her covers. “I’m asleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He humphed at her and made himself comfortable against the headboard. “Not anymore you aren’t. What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With what?” she asked innocently, pushing herself onto her elbows. If he wanted to wake her up early, she’d make this as difficult as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t play dumb.” Gaveon grabbed a pillow and smacked her over the head. “You haven’t spoken to Bryce since we got back and it’s been the most uncomfortable three days of my life. Either go on a horrible, long rant about him or move on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina let out a loud groan against the pillow. “He started it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very mature of you,” Gaveon snarked, grabbing the pillow off her face. “Bryce doesn’t talk about his feelings so you need to make it right. Or else I’m choosing him in the divorce.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were friends for like, two seconds,” Carina complained. “This isn’t a divorce, it’s just the end of a trial run. Consider the trial a failure.” She grabbed the pillow back and whacked him once, for good measure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon smiled at her in the evil way only brothers can. “Fine. On to plan B.” He leapt out of bed and skipped to the door like a maniac.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Plan B? What’s Plan B,” Carina yelled after him. Gaveon could be annoyingly devious when he tried, and she hated getting caught up in one of his schemes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she gave up on sleep and started getting ready for the day, Carina’s thoughts drifted to Bryce. She’d been so proud of herself for lasting this long without breaking, avoiding him as much as possible and ignoring him on the two occasions they did see each other. Her pride and frustration easily won out over the tiny part of her that missed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Cauldron damn her, did she miss him. It made absolutely no sense. She’d spent decades without him in her life, but after two months of tolerating him could barely spend three days without speaking? Carina once gave Evalin the silent treatment for five weeks after they puked at her birthday party. She was the queen of holding grudges.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Plan B made an appearance as soon as she stepped into the dining room. Amren sat at one end of the table, giving her a cold stare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to the Hewn City in an hour. Look better than you do now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina gave her little aunt a kiss on the head. “Who are we trying to scare shitless today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amren grinned. “We sent down a few Fae to help start the schools up two weeks ago and they’ve reported back that Toren is up to his usual nonsense. Threatening the parents who drop their children off, harassing the teachers that they finally selected, and whatnot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wonderful. Do you think I could--” Carina stopped talking the moment she sensed Bryce walking down the hall. “I’ll find you in an hour.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gaveon told me you were acting strange,” Amren laughed. “Might as well face the boy now, since he’ll be joining us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You bitch!” Carina exclaimed. “I thought you loved me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amren shrugged. “I don’t love anyone. Should’ve come to me before your brother did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina would’ve said something much worse, possibly causing Amren to smite her, if Bryce hadn’t entered the room. That tiny, emotional part of her brain seemed extremely loud at that moment, telling her all the reasons to let her stupid pride go for once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No such luck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll find you in an hour,” Carina repeated, brushing past the Illyrian without a glance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina, wait,” he began. She just kept walking. Amren’s chuckle followed her down the hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She fumed the entire time, as she re-did her hair and makeup. If Bryce could just keep his stupid, sad face and annoying voice away from her, it would make holding a grudge so much easier. Why was he so desperate to talk to her? He’d been rude enough in the Summer Court, leaving her high and dry at a party and snapping at her afterward, but wanted to play nice now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gaveon probably got to him first, too, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she thought, applying more eyeliner than was strictly necessary. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Convinced him to fake apologize just to save the friend group.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She definitely did not select the most flattering dress in her closet because of him. The silk midnight blue gown that emphasized every single curve was to intimidate Toren, of course. She winnowed down to the dining room, hoping Amren would be there alone. With her shitty luck, that did not happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me you dressed up for my benefit.” Bryce leaned against the table, staring directly at her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t respond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Amren said she’ll be back here in a few. Are you planning on standing in silence until then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina’s temper flared. “The silent treatment only works when you do it? The double standards never end with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce looked surprised to hear a response. “I’m only being obnoxious to get you to talk to me. Gaveon warned me you can hold a grudge forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good to know,” she bit back. “I’ll go back to ignoring you now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina.” His tone turned almost desperate. “I feel like you’re mad at me for all the wrong reasons and I just want to explain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes. “I’m really fucking done with this hot-and-cold attitude. I don’t care that I party too hard, or you don’t take me seriously, or you had a bad day, or whatever caused your stupid meltdown. Move on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t. I’m not going to,” Bryce stated. She had to look away, the sincerity in his eyes eating at her resolve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amren appeared in between them. “Keep the melodramatic conversations to a minimum in my presence. Emotions make me nauseous.” She looked Bryce up and down. “You’re winnowing him, girl.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina opened her mouth to argue, but Amren vanished. Fine. She could handle some minor physical contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shall we?” Bryce held out a hand. Carina grabbed it, doing her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach when they touched. The dining room turned into the foyer outside the dark throne room, where Amren stood waiting. At their arrival, she flicked her hand and opened the doors, striding in like the terrifying monster she was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina dropped Bryce’s hand and followed her in. The room was almost empty, with only a few servants setting up for tonight’s revel. She turned to one of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell Toren to present himself immediately.” The Fae bowed and ran off. She hated these unnecessary displays of power, and resented her parents for maintaining the facade for so many years. If tyranny was the only way to make progress in this Cauldron-forsaken city, Carina didn’t know if progress was even worth it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She heard Bryce’s breath catch as she made her way over to the double throne, placing herself on the frigid stone seat usually reserved for her father. A silver diadem had appeared on her forehead, completing her ensemble and marking her as royalty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Several High Fae snuck into the room before Toren arrived, having heard of her arrival and preparing for some sort of show. Carina assumed at least one of them was spying for Keir. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Report back that I look like a fucking queen, you bastards. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sleazy male appeared five minutes later, strutting in as thought it was his idea to meet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lady Carina, how lovely to see you again so soon,” Toren simpered, planting himself right at the foot of the dais. “Usually, I’m forced to go months without seeing your beautiful face.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look as pathetic as always,” she replied. Did the prick have to flirt with her? “Tell me how the school is progressing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toren smiled. “I believe we’ve made massive improvements over the last few weeks. Unfortunately, many parents are choosing not to send their children.” He shrugged. “I suppose many Lesser Fae see no value in education.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina leaned onto one armrest, letting her chin fall into her hand. “I suppose you had nothing to do with the low participation?” Toren nodded. “I wonder, then, if I killed you right now, would more children show up to school tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amren walked out of the shadows and stood directly behind him. “It would be a delightful experiment for sure. Let’s try it, just for fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toren shuddered slightly at her demonic voice, but held his ground. “I don’t see what purpose my death would serve, behind severing your alliance with the Steward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I doubt he cares about you that much,” Carina countered. “Let’s try a different social experiment. If you set foot near the school or any of its staff again, I’ll dissolve you into sand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toren sneered. “As if you would ever stay here long enough to actually monitor the situation.” He turned towards Bryce, something lighting up his gaze. “Are you planning on sending one of your winged whores to stalk me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her temper was already on a short fuse. Carina struggled to keep her voice in check, but some rage managed to slip through. “You talk as if you would rather be destroyed right now.” She let some of her darkness slip down the throne and towards Toren’s feet. “As if I couldn’t kill you in front of Keir’s people and face no consequences.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop this,” Toren hissed, daring to take a step backward as the inky blackness creeped towards him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina smiled. “Make me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amren shot her a glare, letting Carina know she overstepped. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I thought we were here to scare him shitless. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enough,” Carina declared, waving her hand to disperse the darkness. “As much as I treasure the look of panic on your face, I’ll give you one last chance to prove your worth. Back off from the school.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toren looked furious. He couldn’t agree without looking weak, but also couldn’t directly disobey an order from the High Lord and Lady’s family. He stepped closer to the throne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Surely there’s some sort of deal to be made,” he murmured, quiet enough for the others not to hear. “Give up on this foolish education nonsense and I can give you some interesting information on Keir’s movements.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take a step back,” Bryce spoke suddenly, stepping forward to grab Toren’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina scoffed. “I doubt you have anything that we can’t find out ourselves.” Still, part of her wondered what information would cause Toren to even consider allying with her family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toren shoved Bryce’s hand off. “Keep your pet in line. Your spymaster knows how to find me if you reconsider.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call me a pet or a bat one more time and see what happens,” Bryce challenged. Carina rolled her eyes. Males.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how you stand it,” Toren commented, walking backwards towards the door. “I wouldn’t let his kind touch me, and yet you let him crawl into your bed. Shameful, my Lady.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Several of the nobility snickered and Bryce let out a low growl. Carina was just about to say fuck it and dissolve the piece of shit, but Amren got there first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could smell your loneliness and desperation from the hallway. Go back to licking Keir’s feet.” She grinned in that eerie, creepy way. Since Toren had already started walking out, he had no choice but to continue on out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next hour passed uncomfortably. Carina didn’t speak to either Amren or Bryce as they inspected the school and interviewed the guards on shift. After giving them strict instructions to alert Velaris if Toren or Keir showed up again, Carina was more than ready to get out of the gloom. She grabbed Bryce without warning, winnowing them back to the dining room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Amren didn’t appear after a moment, she took a breath. “I’m sorry Gaveon made you come with us. I didn’t want you to have to deal with those racists again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gaveon didn’t force me to come,” Bryce argued. At Carina’s raised eyebrow, he amended. “Gaveon </span>
  <em>
    <span>suggested </span>
  </em>
  <span>I go with you, but I didn’t fight him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Accept my apology, idiot.” Carina let a small smile dance across her face. Her pride could suck it. “What was it you wanted to explain earlier?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce glanced at the door and then back at her. “I--I have to go find Cassian. Can I find you in a bit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The smile dropped off her face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear, I just need to tell him something quickly and then I’ll come right back,” he pleaded. “Please, Carina, you know I want to apologize properly more than anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She glared at him, her resolve back in place. “Clearly not more than anything. Go deal with your random issue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cassian wanted a report on the Court of Nightmares, I’m just gonna tell him what happened.” Bryce put his hands up in surrender. “This isn’t me going all hot-and-cold again. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina crossed her arms. It didn’t sound right. Cassian rarely cared about the Court of Nightmares, but Azriel had been investigating some sort of relationship between Keir and the rebels. “I’m coming with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce hesitated. “Fine. If he lets you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s my uncle,” Carina sniffed, flipping her hair. “He biologically can’t say no to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned on her heel and headed towards the chambers Cassian shared with Nesta. Bryce had no choice but to follow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just barge in--” Bryce tried to say, before she did just that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cass? Are you here?” Carina called. She obviously had already checked that Nesta wasn’t present. Her aunt would smack her into next week for barging in their rooms without knocking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Light of my life, is that you?” Cassian yelled dramatically. “I’m in the office.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina sent Bryce one smug look as they turned the corner. Cassian sat at the large desk, his long hair pulled back into a low ponytail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Save me from this paperwork, please,” her uncle fake-begged. His eyes narrowed in on Bryce. “Who gave you permission to come in here unannounced?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce gaped. “Sorry, sir, I, uh, well I was just following her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m totally messing with you,” Cassian grinned. “I know she’s a terror. What brings you to my door?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina stared at Bryce, forcing him to speak. His face clearly indicated that he regretted bringing her along. Good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We went to the Hewn City earlier today and I got close to one of Keir’s right-hand males,” Bryce began. “Toren.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A slimy prick, for sure,” Cassian added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce nodded. “I smelled something on him. I think it was...well I think it was Roban’s scent.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The name visibility unsettled Cassian and meant absolutely nothing to Carina. She leaned against the desk, waiting for one of them to continue or explain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina, could you give us a minute?” Cassian asked. She frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who is he?” she replied, not leaving. Bryce actively didn’t meet her gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cassian sighed. “A scumbag war lord that’s been on our case for awhile. Bryce met him a long time ago, so he probably doesn’t remember the scent all too well. I just want him to write a note for Azriel about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>None of that made any sense, but Carina could tell he wanted her gone. “Fine. Bryce, if you don’t find me in five minutes, I’m leaving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stormed out of the room, right as Cassian mumbled: “Good luck with whatever that was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Distracted, she automatically made her way towards her room. Carina had visited several war camps, even staying at one for ten months during her rebellious phase, without ever encountering a Roban. He either wasn’t that big of a deal, or operated in secrecy for some suspicious reason. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina flung her closet door open, shedding her gown for a pair of leggings and a large sweater that probably belonged to her father at some point. Belatedly, she realized Bryce would have to come up to her room to find her. That fact unsettled her, for some reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her stomach fluttered in anticipation. All she wanted was some sort of explanation for his odd behaviour, but she also worried about what he would say. And how it would affect her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt him walking down the hall and grabbed a random book, sitting on her bed in an almost natural pose. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Get a fucking grip. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knocked. “Carina?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce entered cautiously, almost like he expected her to attack him. “Can I?” He gestured at one of her large chairs. She nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat down and she placed her book on the bed. They looked at each other, the silence heavy between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Explain away,” Carina said, hoping the weird tension would dissolve if he started talking. “This was all your idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bryce nodded. “I was a complete jerk in the Summer Court. I shouldn’t have left you alone at the party, and I shouldn’t have lashed out afterward. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shifted her legs so she was fully facing him. “That’s a sweet apology. What’s your excuse?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scanned her face, looking for something in her eyes. He didn’t seem to find it. “Did you notice anything at the party?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With you?” Carina squinted at him in confusion. “No, you were surprisingly pleasant before ditching me. Why would you ask that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The memory of them sitting behind the couch, right when the lightseeker kicked in, when it had felt like the world shifted on its axis and all she could sense was him, suddenly rammed into her head. She hadn’t thought about that part of the night, blurred by her intoxication, but there had been a moment where she’d felt...something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce wasn’t looking at her anymore. “I don’t really have an excuse, then. I was out of my element and probably overstimulated, and taking it out on you. I’m not good at being friends with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shut her thoughts down. She’d had a strange moment, after hours of drinking, not some life-changing revelation. Those didn’t happen on the floor behind someone else’s couch. Bryce was trying, so for Gaveon’s sake, she would too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not the easiest person to get along with,” she conceded. “Thank you for that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really? That’s all I needed to do?” Bryce smiled at her, the first real one she’d seen in days. “The Carina Archeron isn’t making me grovel, get down on my knees?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She did not need the image of Bryce on his knees in her head. But shit, there it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t look so pleased with yourself,” Carina smirked. “You now have to put up with me and be nice to me until I decide otherwise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce rolled his eyes. “I think I can manage that. I’ll worship at your feet, just like everyone else does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Carina pushed herself off the bed and grabbed one of his hands. “When we tell Gaveon, I get to take credit for making up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulled him towards the door, fully intent on showing Gaveon her maturity and personal growth immediately. Carina opened her door, almost smacking Reyna in the face,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit, sorry!” she apologized, dropping Bryce’s hand. “We were just, uh, heading out. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another member of Cassian’s guard, Odis, stood beside her, attempting to control the shit-eating grin on his face. At least Reyna had the decency to remain expressionless as always. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cassian sent us to find Bryce. He’s needed downstairs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina could murder her favorite uncle. Gossip spread like forest fires in Velaris, and he knew sending two guards to catch them alone in her room would dominate the weekly news. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce nodded. “No problem. I’ll...see you around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the trio walked down the hall, Carina spun on her heel, fully intending to slam her door and spend the afternoon alone with her thoughts. The door had barely closed when she heard Bryce growl at Odis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you say a damn word.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It made her smile.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. whispers turned to talking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am writing this so fast oop! I love you forever if you review &lt;3</p><p>I promised Eris and Eris you shall receive! He's mentioned in this chapter and will STAR in the next one. Featuring some jealous Bryce, some angsty Carina, and some parent!FeyRhys!! Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It took all of four hours for the rumors to start swirling around the House of Wind and for Stella Tenebrum to yell at her best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew something happened in the Summer Court!” Carina looked up from her book as Stella marched into her room and threw herself on a chair. “You were acting completely ridiculous afterward, I just knew you’d done something bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello to you too,” Carina drawled, flipping a page nonchalantly. “What bad thing did I supposedly do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella wasn’t having it. “Bryce. Well, I guess he isn’t a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing, but you did him! You broke your silly Night Court rule!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry to disappoint, darling.” Carina was a bit impressed with the speed of the rumor mill. “Nothing happened between us. I think it’s just Cassian trying to get on my nerves. And the Night Court rule still stands.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella pouted. “You haven’t had a tryst in ages, Rini. It wouldn’t kill you to choose someone in Velaris.” She climbed onto the bed and poked Carina with one of her absurdly long nails. “I swear to the Mother that I see him eyeing you all the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina swotted some of Stella’s silky, black hair off her book. “You and Gaveon need to learn about personal space.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella just stared at her, waiting for elaboration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to say? I’m not dating in the Night Court, and certainly not someone in the palace! That would be such a strange power dynamic and just plain weird.” She grimaced a bit, thinking about her parents, aunts, and uncles knowing details about her sex life. “Come on, Stel, you know I would’ve told you if something had happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, Stella let it go and the conversation shifted. Carina wasn’t planning on addressing the rumors with anyone else, assuming everyone would move on in a couple days. Weren’t there more important things to worry about?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her father’s voice in her head startled her a bit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Can you come to the river house for dinner? Azriel has information.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently, there were more important things to worry about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evalin opened the door before Carina even had a chance to knock. They had a dangerous smile on their face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you even start,” she scowled at her younger sibling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I have spies all around Velaris.” Evalin smiled, too innocently. “They told me such interesting things about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have spies, you little twat,” Carina scoffed, brushing past them into the foyer. “You have idiot friends who have nothing better to do but gossip.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Evalin followed her. “Just tell me if it’s true! I hate having to hear things about my darling sister from random people.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop guilting me, you know it’s not true. I don’t date in the Night Court,” Carina replied. “Why does anyone care about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They shrugged. “Bryce is a fan favorite. Everyone wants to know what team he plays for.” Satisfied that they hadn’t missed any juicy details, Evalin skipped away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina thought about that bizarre answer for a minute, wondering why it bothered her so much. She felt a tad jealous, probably because </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to be the fan favorite. Her reckless side flared up, wondering if it would be so terrible to encourage the rumors a little bit more. Just to increase her notoriety, of course.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That frivolous train of thought cut out the second she saw Rhys and Azriel’s faces. The spymaster had clearly just arrived from some mission, his hair windswept and siphons bright. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her father kissed her on the head. “Thanks for coming, darling. Az investigated Bryce’s tip about Toren and one of the warlords.” Cassian had presumably shared the whole story, including her presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azriel continued. “I haven’t sensed Roban anywhere near the Hewn City, but it seems Toren has managed to slip out a couple times in the last few months. I’m working on tracking his movements from now on, to pin down their meeting locations.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They don’t meet at the war camp?” Carina asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The males shared a look. She started to get the feeling that she was missing some piece of the puzzle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Roban doesn’t live at a war camp anymore,” Rhysand explained. “He disappeared two months ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When?” At Carina’s question, Rhysand’s expression tightened. She glared at him until he answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The same day you and Mor went to the Hewn City, right after your return from the Winter Court.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina didn’t like where this was going. “And you think those events are related. Nothing special happened on our visit, just the usual antagonism and threats.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what we’re working on.” Rhys gestured towards the dining room. “Your mother should be back from the studio soon and Mor is joining us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all sat and engaged in small talk, but Carina’s mind had turned back towards Roban. Warlords didn’t randomly leave their titles and camps behind and she doubted the timing was merely coincidental. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was one common denominator that neither her father nor uncle mentioned. Something that was both different about her visit to the Court of Nightmares and involved with identifying Roban’s scent. Bryce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A chill swept down her spine as her mother and Mor entered, seating themselves as food popped onto the table. Azriel was much smarter than her; surely he’d noticed as well, but chose not to say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Potatoes?” Carina jerked out of her thoughts and took the dish from Mor. She took a spoonful, tuning back into the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre snapped her fingers at her mate. “Stop asking me about my day and stalling the conversation.” She took a sip of water and focused on the group again. “Unfortunately, the situation has complicated a bit further.” Rhys opened his mouth to speak, but shut it quickly</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina could sense the tension flowing off her parents. They seemed to have a short mental argument that her mother won.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mor, Eris has called us to fulfill our end of the bargain.” Feyre looked at her friend, with guilt and sadness in her eyes. “He’s ready to claim his throne and is requesting our help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole table waited for the response. Mor flicked a finger, filling her wine glass, before taking a long sip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think I’m going to say? We help him, of course.” The blonde glared at Rhys. “You made the deal ages ago and we all know he’s better than Beron.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina didn’t quite understand what was happening, but kept her mouth shut. This conversation felt centuries in the making.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want, we can do the bare minimum,” Rhys offered. “Let him kill Beron on his own and only support his claim to the throne after, if his brothers challenge him.” His tone turned desperate, begging, indicating he really would do whatever his cousin needed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one had ever told Carina or her siblings what had happened with Eris. She didn’t even think Mor’s own daughters knew the truth, though Daphna and Triss were quiet enough to keep a secret like that. Carina saw the way everyone looked at Mor and felt the anger whenever the prince of Autumn’s name came up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want Beron dead,” Mor stated, her tone flat. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and Eris can finish off a couple more of the Vanserras while he’s at it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rhys nodded. “We’ll set up a meeting with him. Somewhere discreet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do it.” All eyes turned to Carina at her suggestion. “I travel Prythian all the time and have less of a history with him. We can set something up in another Court, make it look casual.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre winced. “I don’t want you anywhere near him, Carina.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on!” Carina exclaimed. “He obviously needs your alliance! Eris isn’t going to touch me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor leaned towards her niece. “Why are you offering to do this? And don’t tell me it’s only because you think you’re discreet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could probably kidnap him and bring him anywhere,” Azriel offered. “We don’t have to do this nicely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because of that.” Carina pointed at them all accusingly. “There’s so much bad blood between Autumn and Night. I can be a fresh start, maybe help us all build an actual alliance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked at Mor. “I don’t want to invalidate your pain from whatever he did. If you want him dead, I’m sure Azriel would happily handle it.” Azriel nodded in confirmation. “But you haven’t killed him yet. So if there’s a chance he could be a good leader, create some positive change, then shouldn’t we take that chance? Let me act as a liaison.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre glanced at Mor. “It’s your choice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor sighed and finished her glass of wine. “I won’t ever truly forgive Eris, but I let go of my anger a long time ago.” She stood up, coming to stand next to Carina. “It’s a good idea. Starting fresh. Just-just be careful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.” Carina took one of her aunt’s hands, squeezing it gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you tell her the story?” Mor asked, looking directly at Rhys. “She deserves to know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he replied. The two cousins must’ve shared an unspoken conversation, before Rhys said “Give my love to Zara and the girls.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor smiled slightly at the mention of her wife. She bid them a good night before winnowing off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina turned to her father expectantly, hoping he wouldn’t postpone the conversation for another time. He took a moment, discussing the final logistics for tracking Toren with Azriel before the spymaster also left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When it was just Carina and her parents, Rhysand began speaking. Carina felt a stab of pain when he described just how despicable Keir could be, hating the male even more than before. She listened carefully, forcing herself to sit quietly until he finished. She even sat for another moment of silence, making sure she had absorbed the details.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So Eris didn’t do anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre snarled at her question. “What? He left her there to die!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina held her hands up in surrender. “What Aunt Mor went through was terrible. Traumatizing. If she doesn’t want to look at Eris again, I totally understand. But he didn’t order the marriage or harm her, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rhysand rubbed a hand over his face. “Carina, it was a complicated time. Eris left her bleeding on the forest ground and has hated her ever since. All because she and Cassian...well..” He trailed off, uncomfortable discussing </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>with his daughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he’s flung it in her face, in our faces ever since,” Feyre added. “Eris has said the most horrible things about bastards, Illyrians, and females. He isn’t to be trusted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina sighed. She loved her parents, she really did, but this felt like one of those instances where they couldn’t see beyond themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have neither of you said degrading or cruel things to maintain a facade?” Carina countered, especially directing her point at her father. “You just told me Beron thinks power is more important than anything. Why can’t you believe that Eris had to put out a certain image for his own safety? He literally wants to murder his father; that can’t come from a healthy family dynamic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rhysand gaped at her. “Do not imply that we are the same. Mor was completely devastated after the attack and Eris did </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’s only ever made the situation worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If she were a better person, Carina would’ve backed down and continued the conversation after everyone had a chance to breathe. Unfortunately, her general frustration and pride got the best of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, both of you, more than anything in the world. I know you would do unspeakable things to keep me, Gaveon, and Evalin safe, and I know you have done unspeakable things for Velaris. Have you ever taken one Cauldron-damned minute to think that other Fae are the same?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carina!” Feyre snapped. “However annoyed you are, don’t condescend us. Your father and I have been through more trials than you could ever understand.” She took a shaky breath, attempting to compose herself. “We’ve let our emotions get the best of us, and that’s why I think you’re the right person to deal with Eris.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina almost smiled, but her mother continued. “That does not mean you get to have outbursts and condescend for things that happened before you were born. If you can’t manage your temper and your superiority complex, then we can’t trust you with the leadership of this court.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Rhys looked shocked at what Feyre was suggesting. Carina’s throat tightened, her body full of anger and despair and regret. She winnowed back to the House of Wind, not trusting herself to say anything without screaming or bursting into tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun had set. She landed hard on the roof, needing to punch something and gain some control over her emotions. Her mother thought that she couldn’t lead the Night Court because she was condescending? As if Feyre didn’t judge everyone around her for dealing with pain differently than she. As if Rhysand didn’t think he was the only one smart enough to handle everyone’s secrets. As if, as if, as if.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina snapped her fingers and set up one of the punching bags Cassian loved to use in training. She’d only just wrapped up her hands (familial drama was no reason for bruised knuckles) when she heard a noise behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce fluttered a few inches off the roof, waiting for her to acknowledge him. She managed a small smile, then gestured to the punching bag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here for some night time training?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He landed gracefully and gave her a smile in return. “Something like that. What pissed you off tonight?” She must’ve looked surprised at his question, because he quickly added: “You only come up by yourself looking angry. Like you need to punch out your rage.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re observant,” she commented, stretching out her arms a bit. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been watching me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce’s cheeks flushed. “You’re very noticeable.” His tone turned mocking. “With all your dramatic entrances and demands for attention, I can’t help but observe.” He walked to the other side of the bag and held it steady, indicating for her to begin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She warmed up with a few light jabs. “I wasn’t demanding attention now and you showed up. Should I assume that’s purely coincidental?” Her blouse really wasn’t conducive to physical activity, so she took a step back and magicked on some leathers instead. Bryce’s eyes narrowed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pure coincidence,” he insisted. “I also enjoy night-time training. Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina resumed her attack, her hits growing harder each time. She really hadn’t wanted to talk about it, but something about Bryce sounded so genuine. Just as she opened her mouth to give him a brief recap, a troubling thought popped into her head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did Bryce have something to do with Toren or the war lord? Could she trust him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I--had a fight with my parents.” Trustworthy or not, there was nothing wrong with telling him part of the story. “Usual stuff, but Feyre got a bit more aggressive than usual. I’m sure we’ll be fine tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce shot her a sympathetic glance. “I’m sorry. I’d imagine it’s difficult to manage family and duty when you all have so much responsibility.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit, no I’m sorry,” Carina suddenly remembered who she was talking to. “I shouldn’t complain about fighting with my parents with you--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t have any?” Bryce teased. “It really doesn’t upset me. I’m the one who asked in the first place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh!” Carina groaned, throwing her arms up. “You’re being so nice to me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I not be? You seemed upset,” Bryce commented, half teasing and half confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She glared at him. “I don’t need the attitude. It’s just confusing, whether we’re bantering, or actual friends, or--” Her rant didn’t make any sense and was luckily cut off by Gaveon’s arrival.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he panted, slightly out of breath from his flight to the roof. “Rhys shot me a message saying you might be upset. Oh, Bryce is here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce waved hello. Carina wrinkled her nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am. I’ll be switching from violence to alcohol in a few minutes.” Carina began unwrapping her hands, letting some of the tension in her body release. “Care to join?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her brother raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope.” She pecked him on the cheek. “They’ll calm down by tomorrow and it’ll be like nothing happened. Carina didn’t want to consider what would happen if her mother had been serious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon didn’t look convinced, but knew better than to push her into talking. “Are we going out or staying in?”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Carina still had some rage simmering low in her stomach, steam she needed to blow off. “Let’s go dancing. Meet in my room in ten.” She pulled her hair into a low ponytail and materialized her wings, preparing to fly down to her balcony.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I invited?” Bryce asked. “Or do I have to crash your plans?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave him a very rude hand gesture. “Obviously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina flew through her balcony doors, thoughts wandering to her outfit and hairstyle for the night. She’d sent Stella a message confirming their plans, and her friend had eagerly agreed to meet them there. Distracted, Carina almost missed the note sitting on her desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Be careful - Az. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She flipped the paper over, noticing the elegant on the back did not look like her uncle’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I so look forward to speaking with you, baby Archeron. Send a message through your spymaster when you’re ready to come to an agreement about my situation. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It lacked a signature; instead a small flame decorated the bottom of the stationary. Carina’s heart beat faster with anticipation, knowing this would be her chance to prove that she could handle the complexities of leadership without her parents’ support. Eris wanted to meet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Glancing at the clock, she barely had time to throw on the first dress she could reach and slab some eyeliner on. Gaveon knocked right as she pulled her hair from the ponytail, attempting to brush out some of the tangles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come in!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He entered, followed closely by Bryce, both males holding a bottle of wine. Carina could’ve kissed them. Well, one of them in particular.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Gaveon asked, noticing the note. She snatched it up quickly, tossing it in her closet before he could get a better look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No one, you nosy prick. Pour me a glass.” Hopefully, he could let it go for once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No such luck. Gaveon smirked at her as he magicked three glasses and started pouring. “How intriguing. Is there some lover I don’t know about? A scandal you’re involved in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s from Az, idiot,” she retorted. “Get your head out of the gutter.” Carina accepted her wine gratefully, pointedly not looking at Bryce. All the sexual tension she thought would go away after the Summer Court made another appearance, especially now that he was standing so close to her. Gods, did he dump some sort of scent all over him or something?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon pouted. “Az doesn’t send me letters. Is this about all the secret meetings you’re having with them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina knew her brother didn’t mind being left out and only meant to tease her. Still, she felt a bit uncomfortable with the conversation. “Yes. Stop asking me about it; they’re secret for a reason.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Gaveon read her body language and didn’t tease her for the rest of the night. The three of them arrived at one of Stella’s favorite clubs, finding the female herself at their usual table. Several drinks later, Carina had started to relax enough that when Stella pulled her to the dance floor, she let her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re in a mood or something, so you can tell me to shut up, but aren’t those two just gorgeous?” Stella yelled in her ear, pointing at two dark-skinned Fae at the bar. Carina laughed and shook her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are and I’m still not breaking my Night Court rule.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella twirled them around so she could see the males better. “I’m mostly joking about them, but you should consider finding </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’ve never seen you celibate for this long before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that!” Carina rolled her eyes. “And believe me, I would love nothing more than a good sex marathon. I was just stupidly busy in the Summer Court and I don’t know when I'll travel again.” She sighed, looking at her best friend. “You go get some action and let me live vicariously through it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella spun around one last time and winked at her. “If you insist!” She sashayed her way over the bar, where at least 5 people attempted to buy her a drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina smiled a bit, glad that someone in her life had simple problems with simple solutions. She was about to head back to the table, when she sensed someone walking towards her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dance with me?” Bryce held out a hand. Carina was drunk enough to accept it without thinking twice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My savior.” She gave him a look that definitely bordered on flirtatious. “Stella just abandoned me to find someone to take home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced over to the bar, where Stella bat her eyes at a couple Fae. “You didn’t feel like joining her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something warm and fuzzy settled in her stomach. “I don’t really date in the Night Court, well, ever.” Before he could react, she amended her statement. “Well, I did one time, so I guess I’ll make </span>
</p><p>
  <span>exceptions. But not for just anyone in a bar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What the fuck was she doing? She spent all day fighting against rumors and setting rules for herself, but after two minutes in Bryce’s presence, she was acting like a fool. He just smelled so distractingly good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce shook his head. “I’m sure half the males in this bar would be tragically disappointed to hear that. And females.” He said the last part almost as a question, unsure but certainly not judgemental.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re one to talk,” Carina deflected, remembering Evalin’s words from earlier. “Apparently you’re a fan favorite around town.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed out loud at that statement. “That’s ridiculous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No really,” she insisted, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Evalin’s words, not mine. They insist that half their friends are waiting to see what your type is, hoping they have a chance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t believe you,” Bryce said, raising his arms to twirl her around. “I’m a grumpy introvert that no one’s ever heard of.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It makes you mysterious,” she argued, tracking how his eyes darted to her lips for a brief second. “Some people find that appealing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something flashed in Bryce’s eyes and Carina felt the last of her resolved melt away. She couldn’t even remember her damn rule right now, so completely caught up in him. He was the flame and she was a moth; getting close to him was instinctual and exhilarating. Even if she ended up burned, she could not find it in herself to care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bryce! What the fuck are you doing out!” A booming voice came from behind Carina’s head. Bryce glanced up and grimaced at whatever he saw. Carina would’ve laughed at the frustration on his face if she hadn’t felt the exact same way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t realize you were with someone,” the arrogant voice continued. “Too busy to--oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina had turned around and taken a look at the group that approached them. Odis, of course, had been the one taunting Bryce, but stopped short when he recognized her. He was joined by a couple other staff members and two nobles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Carina greeted cheerfully. “How’s everyone’s night going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Melina, who had known Carina since almost birth, gave her a quick hug while the others waved awkwardly. She was born an aristocrat in the Hewn City, but her parents had escaped and sought refuge in Velaris. Now, she oversaw the city’s finances and worked closely with Feyre.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that, just having a bit of fun with Bryce here,” Odis apologized, swaying a bit as he spoke. “Surprised to see him out, thas’all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He really is a grumpy introvert, isn’t he?” Carina winked back at Bryce. She might regret stoking the rumors later, but was having too much fun at the moment to care. “You wouldn’t believe the things I had to promise to get him to come out with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce scowled at her, as if he knew exactly what game she was playing. “I was just about to grab a drink. Anyone need anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina smiled brightly. “Mind grabbing my usual?” Even Melina raised an eyebrow at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Odis and Henery, another guard, followed him to the bar. Carina invited the others to join them back at their table, where Gaveon and a few of his friends sat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite her teasing, Carina could tell when Bryce shifted from fake-annoyance to genuine displeasure with the large group. She caught his eye and inclined her head, sneaking away from conversation when he nodded. He led her through the crowd and onto the street, the noise level dropping considerably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to leave. But thank you.” Bryce waited for her to grab a coat of thin air and pull it over her dress. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shrugged. “I was ready to go. And I dragged you out, so I felt responsible for putting you out of your misery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’d you tell I was miserable?” he queried. “Staring at me the whole time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not the only one who can be observant,” Carina responded haughtily. “I swear, you have the most frustrated face whenever Odis speaks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce chuckled. “He’s not my favorite, but he’s a decent male. To be fair, I never join their outings, so he has every right to be annoyed at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You went out with me. Should I be flattered?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The alcohol slowly left her system, the logical side of her brain getting louder and louder. She knew it wasn’t right to keep flirting with him and yet her instincts screamed to get closer. The mental back-and-forth was confusing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m always flattered when you chose to spend time with me,” Bryce responded. “The infamous Heir of the Night Court offering to walk little old me home? I might brag about it to all my friends tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina stuck out her tongue. “Don’t forget stunningly beautiful and beloved by all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” he replied smoothly. “They’ll all be seething with jealousy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And ready to gossip,” she mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced at her. “Gossip?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her face felt hot all of a sudden. “You know, just the rumors that have floated around recently.” Bryce still looked lost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grumpy introvert, remember? People don’t tend to share chitchat with me. Please, enlighten me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tried to sound and act casual, but her heart rate sped up, giving her away. “Just some talk after Reyna and Odis found you in my room the other day. Nothing specific, of course, and probably already blowing over.” She grimaced. “Well, not anymore. Sorry, tonight was my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People are suggesting that we’re....? Other guards are involved?” He sounded concerned. “They shouldn’t go around telling anyone about what they see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s really not a big deal,” Carina reassured. “I’ve heard much worse about me before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce frowned. “I’ll have a talk with Odis, that asshole.” His tone made it sound like a very uncomfortable and possibly physical talk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, seriously, don’t blame him,” Carina tried. “I knew they were gossiping and I made it worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Bryce stopped walking and faced her. He tilted his head, examining her expression like she was his favorite novel. “Did you want people gossiping about us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina didn’t have a good response to that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A branch burst into flames above their heads, causing a good distraction. She yelped and pushed Bryce out of the way, but the fire went out as quickly as it started. A small piece of paper floated down from the tree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck was that?” Bryce demanded, catching the paper as it flew. Something like dread filled Carina’s veins as he scanned the note.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s for you,” he said, shoving it in her hands and turning away. “I’ll leave you to it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, what?” Carina called after him. “Are you ditching me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce stopped walking. “Do you really want me to walk you home? It seems like someone is waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She read the note quickly, hoping for some clarity on his odd behavior.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Couldn’t wait until our next scheduled meeting. I need to see you tonight. Write back a time and place. Love, Eris.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That bossy prick,” Carina grumbled, before turning back to Bryce. “I’m still heading back to my rooms first. You don’t need to storm off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something like anger flashed across Bryce’s face, but he nodded and waited for her to catch up before they continued on in silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina was about to yell at him for acting all hot-and-cold again when it clicked. Bryce had seen the note and assumed--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Crap,” she said out loud. “Bryce, Eris and I aren’t involved at all, it’s not what you think.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His expression confirmed her theory. “It’s not any of my business. I’m sorry for being rude earlier”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She swore under her breath. “There’s nothing going on! It’s just--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stopped. If others found out her and Eris were meeting, her parents wouldn’t be pleased. Carina had promised discretion, so Beron wouldn’t learn about the upcoming coup. Acting like they were secretly involved was probably the smartest option, but Carina hated doing that to Bryce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No really, I overreacted. You don’t have to explain anything.” They’d reached the entryway, where Carina would fly up to her balcony and Bryce would enter the main barracks. “Too much alcohol makes me moody.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Carina wanted nothing more than to stay with him, explain everything, and ignore the note. Her duty had to come first, however.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded, then leaned in for an embrace. She was a bit surprised, but grateful he didn’t seem to hate her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, she just had to manhandle the prince of Autumn.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. like the colors in autumn so bright</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ERIS HAS ARRIVED!! WOOHOO!!</p><p>We are making moves towards some ~action~. Next chapter will get p steamy and the chapters after will really pick up the pace. I feel like I've been worldbuilding for a really long time so I'm excited to actually move the plot along lmao.</p><p>Reviews and kudos are so so loved!! Wishing everyone a safe and healthy week &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Middle had lost most of its notoriety after the Weaver’s death. Very few Fae dared to venture back Under-The-Mountain, so the desolate territory sat unused, deprived of creatures with souls and full of nasty beasts that thrived in the lawless land. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Truly, the perfect place for clandestine meetings. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eris may well be one of those nasty beasts, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Carina mused as she winnowed to the pond where they’d agreed to talk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She landed silently, masking her sound and scent to avoid any aforementioned monsters. A quick scan told her she was alone for a few miles, Eris yet to arrive. Carina took a moment to compose herself, trying to wipe any thoughts of the night from her mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt, rather than saw, the prince of Autumn arrive. With a slight warmth in the air, Eris strode towards her,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, isn’t this a pleasure?” he drawled, extending one hand. “The renowned Carina Archeron.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shook his hand, letting a scowl mar her features. “I can’t say I return the pleasure. What brought on such urgency?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right to business.” Eris conjured up two chairs made from twisting branches, gesturing for her to sit. “I had hoped we might have more time to come up with a suitable plan of action, yet the Cauldron has other plans. Someone is sabotaging my alliance with the Hewn City and I believe it’s my father.” He flexed his hands on the armrests, his body betraying the stress and frustration that didn’t appear in his tone. “I worry they’ll find a way to turn on me before I can claim the throne.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Murder your father,” Carina countered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris shrugged. “He’s very unpleasant. I doubt many people will mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina couldn’t argue with that. “We can’t help you with Keir’s alliance. He wouldn’t listen to us and my family would not allow you to deal with both parties.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Eris smiled. “I’d much rather work with you. More power, much more enjoyable to look at--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, stop it,” Carina interrupted. “It’s quite obvious you aren’t interested in me and the flirting is just wasting time. If you agree to promote our alliance over Keir’s, we can move forward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “Easy decision. As long as we don’t inform him of our agreement. Now, I would love to hear some brilliant ideas on how to help me murder my father, as you so delightfully phrased it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina frowned, taking a moment to think about his situation. No one, not even the strongest Heir, could overpower a High Lord on their own. They couldn’t risk bringing in any other Fae to their plan without risking secrecy. Carina would have volunteered to help kill Beron herself, but any direct interference from another Court would invalidate Eris’ claim.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lucien?” she suggested, knowing that wasn’t the answer. “Or your mother?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris’ eyes darkened. “She will not be involved. And I doubt my youngest brother would willingly aid me or step foot in the Autumn Court again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll need to talk to some of the others about this,” Carina admitted. “There must be some way to help you without physically being with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve attempted to look into power-boosting objects, but can’t really access the resources in Day without alerting my father.” Eris shrugged. “If one of your Inner Circle could find an excuse to visit Helion, his archives might have a solution.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Surely someone could make a sacrifice and seduce him,” Carina remarked, mostly joking. “Not that sex with Helion is that much of a sacrifice.” Eris looked strangely uncomfortable at that comment. She would never have thought him a prude, but people had weird boundaries.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or request a normal diplomatic trip,” Eris replied. “My, my, who would’ve guessed Rhysand and Feyre’s daughter had such a dirty mind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Literally anyone who’s met them.” Her parents were notoriously disgusting. “Why are you so eager to take over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris looked a bit offended at the sudden question. “My father is a horrible leader and hurts everyone around him. Do you distrust my motivations?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina raised her hands in mock surrender. “No need to be defensive! I’m just attempting to understand you more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would you ever want to do that?” Eris managed to incorporate both humor and bitterness into one single thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because of - I don’t know - you’re whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Carina answered. “Everyone seems so convinced of your depravity, even you, but it feels like an act. Also, I’m horribly intrusive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you force every male you meet into a heart-to-heart or am I special?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled. Carina prided herself on her ability to break anyone’s resolve down. After a lifetime of praise, love, and devotion from basically everyone in Velaris, she loved nothing more than to force someone to unwillingly become her friend. Eris seemed like a wonderful challenge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You appear in desperate need of a good heart-to-heart.” She leaned back in her chair, making herself comfortable among the pointy sticks. “Would you actually serve as a better High Lord than Beron?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris sighed. “The bar is on the ground, but yes, I would do whatever I could to be better than him. I truly care about the citizens of Autumn, I want long-term peace with all the other Courts, and all the other cliche bullshit. I know your family has...opinions about me and you probably believe the same, but I’m not one to let my personal issues stand in the way of my job. So.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He trailed off a bit awkwardly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have many friends, do you?” Carina snorted. “We’ll have to work on this whole ‘I’m not the epitome of evil’ speech. I generally include some specific examples to really drive the point home, like my ideas for building schools.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris stared at her. “Is this why your parents sent you? They knew you’d dig into my personal life until I died of annoyance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina couldn’t confirm or deny that statement. She pushed the conversation further, genuinely interested in how a male like Eris came to be. He did have specific ideas on how to improve his Court and showed a similar genuine interest in her opinions as well. They talked for another couple hours, until a white, slimy demon popped up and tried to eat them. It was no match for two Heirs, but the attack put a damper on the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should get back.” Eris rubbed his sword on the grass, cleaning the pale sludge off the edges. “You still have the parchment?”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled it out of her pocket and showed him. “I’ll write if we come up with a solution or need to discuss logistics. Let me know if you feel in danger, if we need to make an impromptu plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” He sheathed the blade, then looked at her hesitantly. “I would appreciate it if you kept some of that conversation to yourself. I’m sure the Inner Circle will need to know some of the details, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, obviously.” She brushed off his concern. “It’s nice to have someone else to talk to, an outsider. Someone who gets it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had more in common than expected. Carina knew she didn’t magically understand all of Eris’ actions and she had no right to forgive him for his past, but she hoped her family wouldn’t oppose the developing friendship. She always viewed her relationships as superficial: even her most beloved friends would never understand the enormity of becoming the most powerful Fae in the Court one day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris shook his head. “Don’t message me if you simply wish to chat. I’m incredibly busy and I have no interest in wasting hours with you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see,” Carina quipped, already knowing she was going to do exactly that. “Stay alive for a few weeks, will you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He winnowed without a response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina did the same. Exhausted, she made three jumps instead of one to give her magic and her body a couple breaks. The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon when she finally landed in her bedroom. Barely remembering to kick her heels off, Carina fell into bed immediately, not worrying about showering or changing until she’d slept for a few hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Far too soon, Carina woke up when someone knocked and opened her door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rise and shine!” Gaveon crowed, sitting himself on her pillows without asking. “It’s almost lunchtime and everyone thinks you’re dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina mumbled a few swear words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He poked her side. “I brought coffee, so you can cut the attitude. I thought you left earlier than me last night. Did someone special keep you up late?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She perked up at the smell of caffeine from her favorite shop. After pushing herself onto her elbows and taking several long sips, she woke up enough to converse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this our thing now? You jumping into my bed unwelcomed?” Carina glared at her brother. “And yes, Eris Vanserra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon’s jaw literally dropped, his eyes widening comically at her statement. Cauldron, did she enjoy messing with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not--last night--you and--WHAT?” he sputtered. “Explain, now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She giggled. “You’re so entertaining when you’re surprised. It was nothing more than a diplomatic thing, but we had to meet discreetly. I think Rhysand would quite literally lock me in a tower if I actually slept with Eris. Also, he’s ancient.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You bitch!” Gaveon exclaimed, then shrugged. “He’s gorgeous, though. Sexy, in a mysterious and sneaky way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not my type, but I can put in a good word for you.” She sat all the way up, and grabbed a brush to begin detangling her hair. “I think I’ve made progress on tricking him into becoming my friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon nodded. “You do love a challenge. Oh, that reminds me!” His eyes turned teasing again. “I ran into a certain </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>at breakfast who was very interested in your current relationship status. Dare I say, he even sounded jealous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina froze. “Bryce asked you about me? What did he say?” Damn her, she felt guilty all over again for how last night must’ve seemed to him. She’d flirted with him, teased him in front of his friends, then disappeared without an explanation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sound terrified,” Gaveon commented. “And you should ask him yourself. Be a dear and let me know when you do, though, so I can eavesdrop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She threw a pillow at him. “Don’t be an asshole. He saw me leave to meet Eris and is probably confused.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He meant well, but Carina would not let her brother’s nosiness and pushy behavior lead her to hasty decisions. The next few weeks would require all of her focus and attention to get Eris on the throne and deal with whatever scheme Keir threw their way. She could just ignore her feelings and push them off for a later date.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unless Bryce was involved. Carina didn’t want to think about what she might have to do if he had a connection with the vanished war lord that Toren knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She flew to the river estate as soon as she could, anxious to meet with her parents and Azriel. Her skin buzzed with the need to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something, </span>
  </em>
  <span>make a plan or find a solution. Her mother and uncle cleared their schedules easily, leaving Rhysand to manage the Court by himself for the afternoon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are excellent,” Carina moaned, smelling food as she walked into the dining room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre laughed. “I guessed you likely missed breakfast. Eat, eat and then we’ll discuss.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azriel appeared a few minutes later, grabbing a bread roll for himself. Carina shoved a sandwich in her mouth, eager to begin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She relayed most of the conversation, leaving out the personal bits, and emphasized the need for urgency.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If we don’t find a way for Eris to overpower Beron in the next week or so, I worry we’ll run out of time,” she implored. “He thinks Day would have an answer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree.” Azriel looked at Feyre. “Helion’s libraries would have the most information. Is there some excuse, some reason we can invent for one of us to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre thought about it for a moment, likely also waiting for her mate’s mental input. “Rhys suggested asking Helion himself to invent an excuse. He could throw an event and invite representatives from multiple courts, allowing us to visit the libraries without suspicion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina grinned. “I obviously volunteer. Will he be suspicious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Helion might not ask too many questions if we are straightforward. We’ve had a strong friendship in the past,” Feyre answered hopefully. “Your father sent him a message moments ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina ate a few more bites, actually taking time to chew as her mind wandered. This trip could work. Both her and Eris could attend, giving them more time to form a plan without disappearing for hours at a time. Besides, Helion hosted excellent parties.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wonderful news.” Feyre broke the silence with a mischievous tone. “The Day Court recently discovered an old document that might contain the cure for faebane. Helion has invited all the Courts to send a representative to attend a seminar about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina laughed. “You can tell me if Helion agreed so quickly because he wants to sleep with Rhys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hush, you.” Feyre chided. “You’re leaving in 3 days and staying for 2 nights.” Turning to Azriel, she asked: “Who should we send with her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d say Mor, since she knows the most about magical objects,” Azriel pondered. “But I assume Eris will attend as well. If she doesn’t go, then myself or Amren should.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feyre nodded, her expression slightly concerned. “I’ll talk to her. Carina, love, would you chat with your brother? He always enjoyed ancient history and might pay more attention to the research than you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina wasn’t offended. She really didn’t have an appetite for learning like Gaveon did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I’ll find him today.” She hesitated, a question on the tip of her tongue. “Can--Should someone outside the Inner Circle come? I had Bryce helping me in the Summer Court and he was able to find out so much more information than one of us would.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azriel furrowed his brow. “I suppose that isn’t a bad idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did tell me to ask someone else to help spy,” she pointed out, feeling a bit defensive. “Besides, Gaveon and I are both close with him, so his presence would be no concern to others.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll send Helion the list tonight after they all confirm,” Feyre said. Carina could tell her mother had sensed something strange in her question, but blessedly chose not to address it. “Darling, please take a nap soon instead of drinking more caffeine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina took the dismissal. “I’ll consider it.” She hugged her mother goodbye, waved to Azriel, and flew back to the House of Wind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the mountain drew closer, Carina’s heart began to pound. Although she felt fine, worry and concern started growing in her stomach, stronger and stronger. The emotions didn’t feel like her own, as if she could sense someone else’s anxiety and was reacting to it. Assuming it was simply her long night catching up to her, Carina focused on landing on her balcony and the emotions faded away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her body wanted nothing more than to fall back into bed, but her mind kept going. Carina grabbed the parchment from her pocket and sent a quick note to Eris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Make sure you go to Day. Helion should be sending out invitations today, if he hasn’t yet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So demanding. I am impressed at your efficiency. See you in 3.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then turned to the pile of paperwork sitting on her desk. Melina had several proposals for improving the small business fund and expanding the financial reach outside of Velaris that Carina had to edit. She worked for twenty minutes, before her eyes started burning from lack of sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nap, you stubborn bitch,” she said to her reflection in the mirror, noting her dark eye bags.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But her brain wouldn’t shut off, even after she darkened the room and lay still. Giving up on sleep for now, Carina left her room and wandered around the House.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She realized she was heading towards the apartments on the bottom floors, where staff could live for free if they wanted, and towards a certain someone. Gaveon’s words from earlier played in her head, igniting her curiosity about what Bryce had asked about her. If she apologized for leaving suddenly, he might share some of his thoughts in response. Oh, and she could ask him about the trip to Day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sniffed out his room easily. Carina had noticed that his scent jumped out at her in the past few weeks, always stronger than anyone else’s in the room. Strange.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened the door after one knock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Bryce looked almost relieved to see her. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Invite me in?” she asked. He gave her a smile and stepped back to let her in. He lived in a suite, two bedrooms connected by a bathroom and a small kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She snorted when she got a good look at the room. “Of course you’re the tidiest person alive.” Truly, not a single book or item of clothing sat out of place. The decor was basic, mostly gray and white, without any personal touches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce rolled his eyes. “Not all of us enjoy tripping on shoes everytime we get out of bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a lot of shoes!” she retorted. She saw a couch in the opposite corner and plunked herself down. “So I have a couple things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please make yourself comfortable,” he deadpanned, seating himself at his desk chair. “I thought they would’ve taught you some etiquette in your princess education.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina pouted at him. “I thought we were beyond etiquette. This is how I treat all my friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re ridiculous.” Bryce leaned back and Carina had to force herself not to study his arms as he stretched them over his head. No one should look that good in a plain gray shirt. “Did you come bother me because you’re bored?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” she admitted, missing the lighthearted banter already. “I actually came to apologize. I can’t give you a good reason for leaving abruptly last night, but I’m sorry that it worried you. If it did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce’s cheeks flushed. “You really don’t have to apologize. I’m glad you came to see me though, I was about ten minutes from checking to see if you made it back safely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina gasped. “You do care! I’m so flattered.” She pretended not to notice that Bryce could easily smell her at this distance and figured out she hadn’t slept with Eris. Fae senses were meddlesome that way. “The second thing is sort of a gift.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so you also care,” he teased, throwing her words back at her. “What’d you bring me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An invitation. Gaveon and I are going to the Day Court in three days, along with Mor or Amren. And you, if you’d like,” she explained. For some reason, she felt self-conscious. “You might have plans, I guess, but you mentioned wanting to travel more so I check with Feyre and she approved-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’ll go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She exhaled. “Okay, good.” They sat in silence for a moment. Bryce looked at her expectantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I get more details than that or…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh right!” Carina hadn’t told him the reason behind the visit. “Officially, Day has discovered some old documents that might tell us more about faebane. We’ll have one night and day of seminars, and then one night for Helion to throw a party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabbed a small notebook off his desk and rifled through it. “And unofficially?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need access to his libraries and can’t have the other courts know what we’re researching.” She felt a bit bad for leaving him out. “I’m not sure if I can tell you, but I’ll check with Azriel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce waved off her concern. “Either way, I’m happy to help with whatever I can. Oh, there we go.” He closed the notebook. “I’ll have to switch a training shift with someone, but that shouldn’t be an issue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You write your schedule down? That’s adorable!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shot her a confused look. “Doesn’t everyone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shrugged. “I either remember an event or it’s not important. Most of my meetings are impromptu, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea how you manage to be successful,” Bryce remarked. “You might be the least organized person I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m cute and funny,” Carina pointed out. “No one ever gets mad at me for anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce ignored her fake-serious tone. “You’re damn impressive in your role and we all know it.” The genuine compliment caused her heart to skip a beat. “And you’re not that funny, so thank the Cauldron you’re competent.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I am so sweet to you and this is what I get in response?” She pouted again. “I have a phenomenal sense of humor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned forward a bit, letting his elbows rest on his knees. “Was the rumor-spreading part of that phenomenal sense of humor?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah shit. She’d forgotten about their conversation last night. “If I say yes, will you be angry with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t look mad. His eyes still danced with laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say you didn’t make me more popular with the others.” Bryce tilted his head to the side. “I would love to hear why you wanted more gossip about us floating around town.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her stomach jumped with nerves. She didn’t really have a good answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I find it entertaining to mess with you,” she replied haughtily. “You should have seen your face when the others appeared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce studied her, like he always did during their conversations. She sensed that he was holding something back, always careful not to push her too hard but always waiting to see her reaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I definitely shouldn’t read into it?” he asked. She was honestly surprised at his boldness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina bit her lip. “No, I wouldn’t read into the gossip.” She stood up, willing herself to leave before she embarrassed herself any further. “You should, however, read into everything else I said on the dance floor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce swallowed audibly. “Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina reached for the door. She’d placed a sound shield around them to keep out potential eavesdroppers, and she heard a few bodies coming towards them when she removed it. “Let me know if you have any other questions about the trip.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood too, approaching her slowly. “Right, yes, I’ll let you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She flung open the door before the group outside could knock. “Oh, excuse me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Odis looked positively thrilled to see her standing there. Henery, Bryce’s suitemate, stood a few steps behind him, along with two others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we interrupting something?” Odis had the most obnoxious grin on his face. “We just wanted to invite Bryce for a pickup game.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, but I’m busy,” Bryce grumbled. Carina knew that was a fucking lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She almost felt bad for her next move. Almost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say no on my account.” Turning to face him, she placed a hand on his arm. “Spend the afternoon with your friends and find me tomorrow.” She even fluttered her eyelashes a few times for good measure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce looked torn between yelling at her and playing along. “Well, I guess I can.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect!” Odis yelped. “We’re heading up to the roof.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina walked past the group, stopping right before she turned the corner to head back upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bryce?” she called out. All five Fae snapped to face her. “My mother might want to talk with you in the next couple days. Just a heads up!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce smirked back at her. “No problem. I haven’t had a chance to catch up with Feyre in awhile. See you soon, Rini.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck. The butterflies in her stomach exploded as his jest, his willingness to flirt right back at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina smiled to herself the entire walk back to her bed, until she managed to fall asleep for a short afternoon nap. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Me to me: you didn't know how to end the chapter so you just did a cliff-hanger? basic bitch</p><p>So yeah. Even more Eris (my baby) and some sweet, role model Helion! I am not a fan of how SJM focused so much of his personality on his sex-drive (especially considering he's basically the only out and proud bisexual...anyways) considering he is also a huge fucking academic and knower of all things magic?? So I added a lot about that &lt;3</p><p>Reviews and kudos make my whole week!</p><p>Next chapter will wrap up the Day Court and take us back to the conflict with Keir! I'm shocked at how well I was able to connect multiple plot points tbh. </p><p>If you catch the folklore references in this, let me know lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Legends say that Day and Night were as opposite as….well, night and day. Actual citizens of the Courts knew that to be the furthest thing from the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Solar Courts had long held each other in higher esteem than the Seasonal Courts, their entire worldview shaped by the difference in consistency. Nature requires changes in the weather, climates may shift over eons, but the Sun and Moon that formed the basis of Night, Day, and Dawn reigned over silly things like temperature forever. Ever since the mythical loss of the Dusk Court, Night, Day, and Dawn huddled ever closer together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina always felt more at home in Day than any other Court, mostly thanks to Helion. The High Lord went out of his way to make all his guests comfortable and encouraged powerful Fae to explore their abilities, instead of viewing them in fear like others might. Both Night and Day valued magic, objects or spells or people, for more than power or greed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning of the trip, Carina and Gaveon wandered into the restaurant district to pick up breakfast instead of eating at the House. Carina wanted to update her brother, without the walls listening, on the actual purpose of the visit and her work with Eris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to say, we really lucked out in the parental department,” Gaveon commented, between bites of a sugary pastry. “I’m still mad at you for making me think you two might be sleeping together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina took a sip of coffee, savoring the cinnamony aftertaste. “It’s really not a bad idea to throw off some suspicion with a little gossip. Best case, no one finds out we’re meeting, but just in case any word of it gets back to Beron.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon snorted. “Oh, is that what you’re doing with Bryce too? Replacing actual intimacy with various rumors?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Asshole!” she yelped. “And that was just some innocent misunderstandings. What, did he mention anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ask me,” he insisted, poking her in the side. “I’m staying out of it. You both are acting too strange and I’d rather wait until something legitimately happens.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He made it sound inevitable. Carina didn’t disagree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d noticed more oddities with Bryce that she’d never experienced with anyone else. She swore she’d actually felt his pain yesterday, after he received a hard hit in the middle of a sparring match. They always managed to find each other very quickly when looking and still managed to run into each other more than normal around the tens of floors in the House. All information she had yet to unpack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me work through this whole patricide situation before I start worrying about my love life,” Carina responded, preferring sarcasm over sincerity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spent the afternoon in a rush; neither sibling thought to pack ahead of time. Mor had agreed to join them, but would be travelling directly from the Dawn Court, where she’d visited her wife, Zara, and daughters over the past week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella lay on her bed, doodling on some important financial proposals as Carina narrowed down her first outfit choices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does the gold or the blue match these earrings better?” Carina almost tripped over piles of fabric as she jumped out of her closet. “Is this neckline too low? Dinner should be relatively casual.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella didn’t look up from her drawings. “The gold, and match it with those strappy sandals you wore in Summer. Let me know what you think about this one.” She held up her latest building design. “Aren’t those little arches just darling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gorgeous,” Carina agreed, moving to shove her last few outfits into a bag. “Have you tried drawing them in a notebook instead of all over my paperwork?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My doodles are a gift to future-you, when you’re bored out of your mind handling these,” Stella grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bags finally packed and vanished for Helion to retrieve, Carina slapped on some gold eyeliner and called it a wrap. “See you in a few. Good luck with Dillian.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stella grimaced at the mention of her boss, who she only had to meet with once a month. “You owe me several drinks when you return. Have fun with whatever you’re doing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina left her there (Stella preferred napping anywhere that wasn’t her own bed) and appeared on the main terrace. Gaveon leaned against the far wall, unusually early.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excited to go?” Carina teased, knowing fully that Gaveon couldn’t wait to see Litus again. Thankfully, Tarquin chose to send his son and put an end to her brother’s pining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve only been here for two minutes,” Gaveon huffed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce walked through the glass doors and Carina’s heart jumped, an annoying habit that kept happening in his presence. They shared a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bags?” he asked, noting her empty hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She waved her hand and vanished his. “Already sent along. Helion should direct them to our suite.” Carina held out a hand. “Ready?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon fake-pouted. “Bryce never winnows with me anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce rolled his eyes and took Carina’s hand. “You can have your turn next time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trio landed in the entrance hall, a massive circular room that had a stained-glass mural wrapping around the walls. Mor stood waiting, her blonde hair alight with colors that danced down from the sun-lit windows. Her heels clicked loudly on the marble floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello babies,” she croned, placing a kiss on Gaveon’s, then Carina’s cheek. “We have about an hour until dinner, so everyone’s in their rooms getting ready. Follow me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is everyone?” Carina asked, dropping Bryce’s hand to walk beside her aunt. “Are any of them joining us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor led them to an emerald green platform at the far side of the hall. “Daphna wanted to, you know her library obsession, but no. Zara’s father is receiving some military honor from Thesan, so the three of them couldn’t make it. Step up here, watch yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina turned to face Bryce, wanting to watch his face. As soon as they all stepped on the green floor, it shot upwards, carrying them to the upper floors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” he swore, flexing his wings subconsciously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon laughed. “Helion loves heights, but not everyone can fly or winnow. Look.” He pointed out the hallways and rooms as they passed, more floors than the House of Wind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The platform stopped at their floor. Mor stepped off carefully and led them into the suite. The common area had no door or wall, connecting directly to the flying platform, and had at least five doors to their bedchambers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act impressed in front of Helion,” she warned. “He really stole the idea from Thesan’s palace last millenia.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina frowned. “Makes a lot more sense in Dawn, easy access for the Peregryns.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Brcye looked a bit apprehensive. “I can still fly up here myself, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not a fan?” Gaveon chuckled. “Yes, we usually do. Main meeting rooms are on the third floor, for tonight and tomorrow.” He picked up a note waiting on the coffee table. “And Summer is staying on the seventeenth floor. See you whenever.” He took off without much preamble, clearly eager to see his lover again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina patted her dress, finding Eris’ parchment in one of her hidden pockets. She glanced at Mor guiltily. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should probably let Eris know where to find me. Or I can go to him,” she added hastily. “Whatever you’d prefer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor gave her a weak smile. “Better to have him here, away from Beron’s people. I’ll leave if he comes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She went into one of the bedrooms and shut the door, leaving Bryce and Carina alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina sat down and scratched out a quick message. Eris responded almost immediately, letting her know he’d stop by before dinner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eris?” Bryce asked, breaking the tense silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mor has some history with him,” Carina started, wanting to tell him the whole truth but unsure if she was ready to trust him with such damaging information. “My parents thought it best if I handle the relationship with Autumn. We have...common ground with Eris.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need me to leave?” Bryce picked up his bag from where Helion had left it and turned towards another bedroom door. “I know I don’t have the authority to know anything, it’s none of my business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina let out a deep breath. “I want you to stay. I think you could help us and I’m hoping he agrees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris popped into the room halfway through her sentence. “Agrees to what? Hello, stranger.” He greeted her with a broad grin before turning to Bryce. “And hello, actual stranger. We need privacy, shoo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina threw a decorative pillow at him. “Have some manners, you prick. This is Bryce and he’s staying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris chuckled. “Absolutely not. I’ve never even met him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t share--” Bryce tried to say but Carina cut him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He knows we’re meeting and could go telling everyone about it anyway, but he won’t. Besides, my suite, my decision.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris leaned forward and gave her a heavy stare. “This could kill me. Literally end my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmph. You won’t live if we don’t help you,” Carina argued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate you and every single other Archerons,” Eris complained. “Fine. If you ruin this, I’ll burn you alive,” he threatened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce held up his hands. “I’m only here to help.” He looked almost amused with the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have a few hours after lunch tomorrow to explore the libraries independently,” Carina spoke quickly, hoping no one would focus on the tension in the room. “Gaveon and I will look into spells and incantations, Mor has agreed to look into objects, and you can rifle through whatever Autumn Court history is available.” She aimed her gaze at Eris. “We can’t go through with a plan until we know for certain that you’ll have the throne indisputably. Figure out if outside interference might invalidate your claim or inflict some nasty curse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris nodded slowly. “I would love to avoid any nasty curses.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “And...Rhysand didn’t force Mor to participate, did he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Carina said sharply. “My parents wouldn’t do that. She agreed, as long as she doesn’t have to speak with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. Good.” Eris relaxed a bit. “I won’t be able to sneak off again. Some of my father’s court will arrive at dinner and watch my movements for the rest of the trip. Write if you need something, but don’t expect a quick response.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina tapped his mental shields. “Show me what they look like so I can avoid them.” He opened a tiny crack in his mind and sent her images of four Fae. “Great. I’ll let the others know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned to Bryce. “You’ll need to keep an ear on the ground with the staff and other Courts. WIth some luck, no one will notice anything amiss, but we’ll need to know if they do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what then?” Bryce questioned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kill them?” Eris suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina scowled. “That better have been sarcasm.” She cleared her throat. “I, uh, had an idea, if it doesn’t upset you, Eris.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The prince shrugged. “I doubt it will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She focused on him, feeling a little too cowardly to look at Bryce as she continued. “If anyone notices that we’re meeting or communicating, someone should start a rumor that we’re...involved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wicked thing,” Eris taunted. “As long as your family won’t murder me for impugning on your virtue, I think it’s brilliant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Beron won’t mind?” she worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris waved a hand. “There’ve been too many rumors about his sons to care. As long as you don’t get pregnant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce choked and Carina groaned. “We aren’t going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>sleep together, asshole. Obviously I’m not getting pregnant!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then it’s no concern.” Eris stood, shooting her an impish grin. “Find me on the dancefloor tomorrow night, would you?” He vanished without waiting for a response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a piece of work,” Bryce noted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina scrunched her nose. “That’s certainly a nice way to put it. Do you have any questions? I feel like I tossed you right into the thick of it without explaining the situation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gathered that we’re helping Eris kill his father. Which I completely support, not that it matters.” Bryce took a seat on the couch across from her. “As long as no one minds me wandering around tomorrow, I don’t foresee any issues on my end.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Helion won’t mind,” she confirmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Bryce said, letting a smile play on his features. “This rumor idea though? It seems to be a bad habit of yours. And here I was believing I was special.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina groaned in frustration. “Don’t start with me. Our whole...whatever happened accidentally, but it gave me the idea with Eris. I don’t plan on obnoxiously flirting with him in public.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his mouth, then thought better of what he planned to say. She felt them slipping into dangerous waters, she stood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to speak with Mor and prepare for dinner. I’ll see you in a bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon and Litus surfaced for air in time to join them in the ballroom. Helion had arranged cocktail tables and floating small plates to encourage mingling. The chamber was filled with music and lanterns that cast patterns onto the high ceiling, shapes of both flowers and mathematical designs that only Day scholars might understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina had a wonderful time catching up with Litus before introducing herself to one of Helion’s new research aides. The Fae had shockingly large eyes, which Carina suspected gave them night vision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My dearest!” Her conversation was cut short as the High Lord of Day descended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hugged him tightly. “Don’t you look magnificent! Thank you for hosting us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Helion grabbed two glasses off a passing tray. “Are you drinking tonight?” When she shook her head, he vanished one of them. “Never mind that then. And truly, thank Rhysand for allowing me to tout my boring academia and throw a wonderful party.” He murmured the last bit, so no bystanders would hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Either way,” Carina charmed, “I appreciate the visit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anytime, Little Archeron. Now, tell me what curious things your Aunt Nesta has done in the past few years.” Helion’s eyes lit up, as they always did when discussing unique magic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina indulged him with updates about her family as they snacked on endless dishes that drifted by. She noticed Eris arrive with the other members of the Autumn cohort and sent mental messages to Gaveon, Mor, and Bryce on which ones to avoid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The evening ended early, as breakfast and discussions would take up all of the morning. She teased her brother as he tried to subtly slip off to Summer’s quarters, then kissed her aunt farewell. Spotting her target leaning on a far wall, Carina marched over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to show you something.” She held out a hand to Bryce. “For your first time here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce took it easily. “You spoil me so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She winnowed him to the top of a tall, stone tower a few miles from the palace. Helion had only taken her to this spot a few years back, after she’d spent two months studying in his libraries.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce took in the view, then noticed the stone bowl of water that sat at the center of the rooftop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That bowl was molded by a witch four thousand years ago, who also worked with a previous High Lord to record knowledge of ancient artifacts,” Carina explained. “When the sun hits the water, it becomes a truth serum. I wouldn’t touch it though; Helion informed me there wards on it are particularly gruesome.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce shoved his hands in his pockets, making her laugh. “I almost feel as though I hear something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sings,” Carina confirmed. “It’s louder in the daytime. Sorry we don’t have time to visit here tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hush, I love this.” Bryce turned back to admire the view of the city and forests below. The trees were much smaller and thinner than in Illyria, so they could see miles away. “I appreciate it so much, whenever you share some part of another place with me. It makes the world feel so much bigger.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina joined him on the railing of the turret. “You’ll see the rest of Prythian if it’s the last thing I do. And the continent, though I’ve barely visited enough to be a good tour guide.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned on one arm so he could face her. “Really? Is that a promise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She did the same. “And a threat. You aren’t getting out of this friendship anytime soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His scent overwhelmed her at this distance. She traced the arch of his eyebrows, sharp cut of his cheekbones, curve of his lips with her eyes. Bryce was beautiful and she rarely got the chance to stare at him unabashedly, with no interruptions. His mouth shaped into a smile, observing her in a similar way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Friendship?” he finally responded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hush, you,” she snapped, then surprised them both by closing the distance and kissing him. He froze for a moment, chafing her nerves, but then began kissing her back. Their lips slid together, something in her mind clicking as they connected. She ran a hand delicately down his arm while the other grasped his hair, pulling him closer. He responded by grabbing her waist, groaning into her mouth when their bodies pressed together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina saw stars when his mouth opened enough to let her tongue enter. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This, </span>
  </em>
  <span>this was a kiss worth waiting months for. Bryce kissed his way down her jaw, nipping slightly as he went. She hissed when he bit her neck, grabbing onto his arms so she wouldn’t float away. Oh Cauldron, his biceps. Her whole body buzzed with energy and heat, so it took a monumental effort to push herself back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chest heaving, she smiled at his disheveled appearance and bemused expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was...we’ll be doing that again,” she breathed, reaching a hand out to smooth his hair. “But maybe not on Helion’s sacred research tower?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh right.” Bryce took a couple breaths, noticing their location again. “The truth serum bowl is probably important.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina took a second to compose herself, then grabbed his arm. “Too important for a make-out spot.” She winnowed them back to the suite, dragging him into her bedchamber.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as the door shut, she slid her hands down to grasp his, facing him fully, before gently kissing him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that too presumptuous of me?” Carina teased, bringing their hands up to rest on his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce laughed. “Audacious, yes, but not unwelcome.” He seemed hesitant, though, so Carina waited for him to continue talking. “Just--should we talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk about what?” Carina furrowed her brow. She clearly had said the wrong thing, because he pulled back and dropped her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought…” He trailed off, leaving her cold and confused. His wings fluttered lightly, revealing some sort of inner turmoil. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Carina pressed. “Talk to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed. “I will. I promise. Just, tomorrow.” Bryce backed away slowly, heading towards the door. Carina’s chest felt tight, pained suddenly. He was leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow?” She hated how weak her voice sounded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce nodded silently, as if he didn’t trust himself to speak. She turned away before he’d fully walked out, avoiding the sight of the door shutting. She didn’t know how many more times she could handle him walking away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sleep did not come easily. Phantom hands and whispered words kept her awake, all the what-ifs blurring together into a Cauldron-forsaken mess. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Heading into several hours of academic lectures following three hours of sleep and a stinging rejection sounded like genuine torture. Carina thought she deserved an award for waking up on time and looking presentable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor informed her that Bryce left the suite early, on a mission to find the training area and connect with some of Helion’s guards. The females ate a light breakfast, sent directly to their coffee table, before winnowing to the library complex a few blocks away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina could sense anger bubbling inside of her, growing hotter every minute. She’d decided to include Bryce on this visit, fought against Eris for him, and had even kissed him first. What fucking right did he have to withdraw without an explanation?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had made her feel alone, as if the entire situation only existed in her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, unsurprisingly, Carina didn’t pay much attention to the almost three thousand year old manuscript that implied two herbs could help lessen the effects of faebane. Mor and Gaveon both knew significantly more about the topic than she did and could report back to Night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce didn’t find her at lunch either. Gaveon commented that he probably made friends around the palace and Carina grunted. There wasn’t much conversation after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, finally, they all headed off into different areas of the libraries to begin their research. Carina craved the comforting silence of the stacks, the soft touch of books beneath her fingers. She took notes on a few promising incantations for strength, but all of them required a certain time in the year or sacrificing a child or some other stipulation Eris couldn’t meet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina lost herself in an ancient diary, belonging to some diplomat from the continent, only coming back into reality when the warning bells signalled the closing of the libraries. She took her time exiting the building, strolling past displays and art work, not quite prepared to enter the crowd again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was dragged out of her self-indulgent melancholy by Mor almost slamming into her, the moment she entered the suite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I found it,” Mor said breathlessly, dragging her into her room. “Come on, come on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost shoving Carina on the bed where Gaveon already sat, Mor pulled a set of notes from thin air. “I just sent a copy to Velaris. Look.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The siblings scanned the papers, Carina’s mood perking up with every line. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grinned at her aunt. “This is fucking brilliant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor had discovered the existence of a pair of bracelets, origin and current location unknown, that could share power between two entities, as long as both parties put on their own bracelet consensually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And look, there.” Mor pointed to a rough sketch she’d copied from an ancient text. “Rhys confirmed it. My father has at least one of the pair. We’ll have no issue tracking down the other once we get our hands on it. Azriel’s already snooping for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All Eris has to do is find a volunteer,” Gaveon grinned. “His mother would definitely agree, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina nodded, her thoughts trailing in an unpleasant direction. “Right,” she lied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eris would never ask his mother, powerful and loving as she might be, to help him. He’d rather face his father alone and lose than bring her into the fray. His relationship with Lucien seemed tenuous at best and the bracelets would require a certain level of trust that the brothers didn’t share.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her family would hate the plan forming in her mind. So she lied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you have a chance to speak with him tonight?” Mor asked. “I’d rather….I might leave and help Azriel, if it’s all the same to you. Hopefully we can locate them both tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina squeezed her shoulder gently. “Of course. Bring the bracelets to me when you find them and I’ll handle passing them along, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mor gave her a quick hug. “Thank you. I truly appreciate how sensitive you’ve been about my situation. I know logically that Eris on the throne will improve Prythian, but I need my distance.” She took a deep breath. “Enough sappiness from me. Kisses!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She kissed them both on the head and winnowed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She told me more about the story before you arrived.” Gaveon winced. “I know what you’ll say, but are you sure about Eris? Actually befriending him, I mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Carina replied firmly. “I love Mor so much, certainly more than Eris, but that doesn’t mean we should punish him and the Autumn Court forever. Beron and Keir are the enemy, the real problem.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon held his hands up in surrender. “I trust you! Nothing more than my brotherly duty to check up on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina knew his intentions were good, so she didn’t mind. Gaveon agreed with her that millenia-long grudges and rivalries would never bring about peace or help the citizens of Prythian who relied on their nobility to make rational decisions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why haven’t you begun rushing around to prepare for tonight?” Gaveon questioned, rising off of Mor’s bed and pushing them both out the door. “You love preening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina groaned. “I’ve had a mood all day and I don’t know how to shake it.” She looked at him hopefully. “If you sit with me and gossip maliciously about people I hate while I do my hair, I might feel better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your wish is my command,” Gaveon chirped. “And I did hear some delicious things from the Summer Court…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although it might reflect poorly on her character, Carina did cheer up considerably as she finished her braided updo and donned her satin, sky blue gown. Gaveon told the best stories, and his bit about Tarquin’s head chef taking petty revenge against one of the finance ministers brought actual tears to her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A knock interrupted her cosmetic routine. She grimaced automatically when she smelled Bryce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you two fighting again?” Gaveon huffed. “I cannot handle any more back and forth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t either!” Carina exclaimed, before taking a breath. “And it’s none of your business. Leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gaveon sighed dramatically. “Snappy. Fine, and I won’t even try to eavesdrop.” He opened the door. “She’s all yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks?” Bryce said uncertainty, before the males stepped around each other and switched places. Carina shoved the door closed with a gust of wind and tightened her sound shield around the room, in case Gaveon had any ideas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before you yell at me, which you certainly deserve to do, I want to say one thing,” Bryce insisted. He stood near the door, nervously rubbing his hands together. “It’s a big thing and it’ll explain a lot, so I can wait until after the party if that would be best…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carina shook her head. “Absolutely not. Say your mysterious thing, I’ll yell at you, and then this whole idiotic foolishness will be over one way or another.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fair,” Bryce conceded. His heart pumped faster and louder, dragging hers into a quick rhythm as well. “I wish I could’ve said this before, that night in the Summer Court, but I was so stupid and overwhelmed and couldn’t handle the fact that my world had completely shifted. I should have said something again, once I had time to think about it in Velaris, but you forgave me and that seemed more important. And I should have fucking said something last night when you kissed me, but I was sure you realized it too and I almost fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>broke </span>
  </em>
  <span>when you didn’t--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stopped himself, taking a breath. Carina had gone completely still, unwilling to stop him but unable to help him continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bryce smiled at her, his expression so gently and so full of understanding. “Gaveon told me a little bit about why you stopped dating in the Night Court. I understand if you aren’t ready and I will wait. Or I’ll go. Whatever you tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She made a noise of protest, but Bryce held up a hand. “Sorry, rambling. I’ll do whatever you need me to do because the bond snapped for me that night in Adriata. We’re mates.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. your integrity makes me seem small</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh my GOD this was hard to write. I kept feeling like I was writing a one-on-one from the Bachelor where they just unload their deepest trauma unprompted. I hope it isn't horrible. Also, we have a lot more work to do with these bitches, so this chapter is definitely a bit messy ~emotionally~.</p><p>To everyone who has left kudos and comments, I absolutely adore you. This chapter is a total homage to peace (not my favorite song on folklore, but has its moments for sure), so let me know what you think or just talk to me about taylor in the comments!!</p><p>This was a lot of writing and I still have a full time job, so as always, no promises on the next update. Enjoy my longest chapter ever!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Mates. Mates. Mates</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Of fucking course.</p><p> </p><p>Carina hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken, had barely breathed in the seconds following Bryce’s statement. His insane, world-shattering statement that yanked all the small moments over the last two months out of her memory and shoved them together into an amazingly clear picture. She remembered the scent, the draw to him, the intensity of their gazes. She remembered breaking her own rules and patterns for him, sensing his worry or humor, even the fucking moment on the floor of the Summer Court. All of this born from just one single glance.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess it wasn’t the drugs kicking in,” Carina whispered.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce had looked anxious from the moment he walked in, but now confusion joined the mix. “Carina?”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head. “Never mind. I just…I’m processing.” Her body buzzed with the memory of last night’s kiss and yet her mind held back, cautious.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fair.” So many thoughts and feelings flashed in his eyes, but Bryce thankfully reeled himself in. “I-let me give you space. I don’t want to rush you into anything, or nothing, or whatever might be….” Taking a deep breath, he started again. “I couldn’t keep that piece of myself from you any longer. Take whatever time you need to decide if you want to talk about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Listening to his footsteps grow quieter, Carina forced herself to slow down. She still had a job to do, finding a way to talk to Eris about the bracelets and gather any final intel about the Autumn Court, all without the others noticing.</p><p> </p><p>Gratitude rushed through her body when Bryce had given her space. She imagined the bond could be more intense for him, especially since he’d known about it for longer, and yet Bryce had remained respectful. Magicking a glass of water, Carina pulled herself together as she sipped, slipping on a mask of indifference and professionalism for the evening.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Get through tonight. Focus on the task and then figure out your feelings later. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Determined, she stretched her wings into existence and strode into the common area to fly to the main banquet hall. The largest room in Helion’s palace would easily hold the hundreds of Fae in attendance, since the High Lord had invited much of the local population to attend the festivities. Enchanted vines led her down an extravagant hallway, towards the gentle music and sounds of conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“Little Archeron, come join us,” Helion called, as soon as she entered. Carina smiled brightly and joined him at the high-table with several other Fae who all appeared to belong to local Summer Court species.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello,” Carina charmed, shaking each of their hands. She quickly immersed herself in their small talk, doing her best to appear friendly and engaging. Any group of Fae could be potential allies or rivals, with proper diplomacy.</p><p> </p><p>The evening dragged by, each minute feeling more like ten. Gaveon finally dragged her away from the fifth group of strangers she socialized with, making up some familial excuse.</p><p> </p><p>“You look dead inside,” he commented drily, steering her towards a lower table where Litus sat. “I’ve never seen you so bored at a Cauldron-damned networking event. Usually these things are your life blood.”</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t rise to the bait. “I’ve had an emotional turmoil and I’m repressing the hell out of it.” Her voice sounded flat and indifferent, at the effort of keeping her messy thoughts in a locked box.</p><p> </p><p>Gaveon looked a bit worried. “Should we talk about it? Do you need to go?”</p><p> </p><p>“No of course not.” Carina gripped his hand. “I could <em>really </em>use some alcohol. I was only able to grab one glass during all that conversing.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaveon snorted lightly, but grabbed them each a glass of sparkling, golden wine off a passing tray. She drained half of hers in one gulp.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello gorgeous,” Litus beamed as they approached. “I’m so very honored that you finally deigned to say hello to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You stole my brother and hid him in your chambers for the past day,” she teased. Giving him a quick one-armed hug, she slid into another seat, finishing the rest of her wine in two sips. “Gaveon has told me some of the recent gossip from the palace, but I want to hear about how you’re doing!”</p><p> </p><p>The prince of Summer spoke easily, updating her on the this-and-that’s of his life. Carina felt more and more like herself again, some emotion coming back into her voice and expression. Thinking about Bryce still overwhelmed her, but she could get through the night without a panic attack.</p><p> </p><p>Before she could truly relax, Eris sprung himself on her. The red-head grinned lazily at her, one hand extended as he approached their table.</p><p> </p><p>“Lady Archeron,” he purred, low and suggestive. “Would you join me in a dance?” Very aware of everyone’s eyes on them, Eris acted the part of the condescending and cruel male they all expected to see.</p><p> </p><p>“I will.” She took his hand and Eris led her to the center of the hall. The pianist began playing a light, quick tune that they could easily dance to. Other Fae spun around them, so Carina placed a light sound shield that hopefully no one would notice. Even if they did, any observer would only see two powerful Heirs flirting with each other.</p><p> </p><p>“We have a solution to your situation,” Carina explained, her tone light and sweet. She deeply wished they could have spoken in private but knew sneaking away would be risky. “A set of bracelets to share power. Azriel and Mor should have them located tonight and then I’ll pass them along.”</p><p> </p><p>He spun her away from him, and then back in. “Helpful. What’s the catch?”</p><p> </p><p>She slid on of her arms behind his neck. “Why does there have to be a catch? Once you have them, find a way to let me know when you’ll attack so I can activate mine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yours?” he asked, brows furrowing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll wear the other one, obviously. Let you share my power.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not serious.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina grinned in earnest this time. “Completely. I’m sure the two of us can easily overtake your father. And this won’t count as interference, according to any succession laws.”</p><p> </p><p>She glanced over Eris’ shoulder as they swayed, noticing Bryce’s arrival the moment it happened. Their eyes locked into place, entirely focused on the other, until Eris spoke again, jarring Carina out of her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Why the fuck would you wear it?” he demanded. “Don’t tell me this is all some sort of scheme to murder me.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina scoffed. “That’s ridiculous. If we put them on consensually, no one can take them off and we can each use the other’s power. The magic flows both ways, so it’ll be a delightful trust experiment.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris let a smirk play on his lips. “Oh, so we trust each other know?”</p><p> </p><p>“You can pretend we aren’t friends, darling, but that won’t change the facts.” Carina raised her eyebrows. “You refuse to involve your mother. You have no one else, certainly no one as powerful as me, to help you. I swear, Eris, I will not betray you and we will put you on the throne.”</p><p> </p><p>The male looked like he might argue, before his eyes dropped to his forearm, covered by his shirtsleeve. Carina knew he noticed it tingling, the same feeling that currently burned her own forearm lightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn Night Court and your inane bargain tattoos,” Eris griped. His eyes told a different story however, as he looked back at her with uncharacteristic softness. “That means a lot, actually.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” Carina said simply. Their movements slowed as the music did, abandoning their turns and quick feet for a light swaying. “You should start considering your next moves. What you would like to accomplish in power and the like.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris’s voice turned wistful. “There are a great many things I plan to do after he’s gone. One in particular.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina didn’t probe any further. Eris had clearly suffered under his father’s control and only now could imagine living his life freely.</p><p> </p><p>When the song ended, he brought her hand to his lips briefly. “Thank you for the wonderful dance. I couldn’t have picked a better partner.”</p><p> </p><p>She grinned. “The pleasure was all mine. I assume you won’t share the contents of our conversation with anyone.” Carina added a wink, secretly very concerned about her family hearing about the plan.</p><p> </p><p>“I would never share such intimate discussions,” Eris gasped, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. “Good evening.”</p><p> </p><p>Resisting the temptation to roll her eyes, Carina stepped away from the dance area. She decided she’d had enough of the forcing laughter and faking smiles. She found the cause of her emotional turmoil easily, staring at Bryce until he noticed her. Tilting her head to the side, Carina strode for the door that would take them back to the main foyer.</p><p> </p><p>She scented him following her, but didn’t turn around until she’d landed on their floor again. Spinning around to face him, Carina put her hands on her hips.</p><p> </p><p>“Be nice to me because I have no idea what I’m feeling.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce offered her a compassionate look. “I can handle being nice to you. If it helps, neither do I.”</p><p> </p><p>“I barely thought of you as a friend two months ago,” Carina said helplessly. “I’ve dated someone for years without really loving them and yet I had feelings for you <em>weeks. </em>I’m-it’s all quite overwhelming.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have no desire to rush into anything.” Bryce took a seat on one of the large chairs, leaning forward to run his hands over his face. “I’m undeniably obsessed with you, but I barely understand what a bond means.”</p><p> </p><p>Her heart warmed. “Undeniably obsessed?” She took a step closer, then another, until their knees brushed against each other. “I like the sound of that.”</p><p>Bryce leaned back to maintain eye contact. One of his hands lifted to grab hers. “I think you’ve known that for a while now, actually.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I have too.” Their fingers moved softly together. “And considering I was completely ready to break my dating rules for you, I have to say the feeling’s mutual.”</p><p> </p><p>His wings fluttered quickly. Bryce grabbed her other hand and pulled her onto his lap. “Does that mean I can kiss you again?”</p><p> </p><p>She pretended to consider it. “Hmm. Will you leave me alone and confused again?”</p><p> </p><p>“Never,” he whispered, two fingers grazing her jaw. “I’ll stick around until you send me away.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina’s breath hitched, emotion filling her throat as she leaned down to close the distance between them. Their lips and hands moved slowly, like the music she had danced to. This kiss took its time, warning Carina’s entire body like a flame.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce pulled away after a few minutes. “There’s…a lot I want to tell you. Before we get in too deep.”</p><p> </p><p>She pushed a lock of hair out of his face. “I’m objectively bad at emotional talks. What if we just repressed our feelings and pretend nothing is off?”</p><p> </p><p>At his frustrated expression, Carina kissed his nose. “I’m joking, calm down. We’ll take everything slowly, have some conversations and whatnot. We don’t even have to tell anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh fuck, I hadn’t even considered that,” Bryce swore. “Cassian might actually murder me for this.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina glared in disapproval. “If Cassian ever <em>tried </em>to do something so possessive and territorial, I’d shove him off the House.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce shifted her weight from one leg to the other, looking a bit hesitant. “It’s not about the “he’ll overreact if anyone even looks at a female in his family” thing. Cassian has good enough reasons not to trust my intentions.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve said things like that before,” Carina prodded. “Why do you assume Cassian doesn’t trust you? You’re undoubtedly his favorite trainee and he spends more time with you than his own son.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to do this now?” Bryce’s finger traced absentminded patterns on her knee. “I’m not being sarcastic, it’s just not a pleasant conversation.”</p><p> </p><p>She untangled her legs from his and stood. Mor had already left and Gaveon would most likely spend the night with Litus again, but she led them into her room and placed a sound shield anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she replied, tucking her legs under her as she leaned against the pillows. “If we plan to move at a snail’s pace, we might as well start now.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce joined her a moment later, sitting close without touching. “You already know that I came to Velaris at 19 from one of the war camps. The day after my Blood Rite ended, Cassian called in my father’s agreement to come train and work with him.” He looked up at her, noting the surprise on her face. “I’m not truly a bastard. My father raised me alongside my half-siblings and was equally horrible to all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve never mentioned him, and I assumed it was a sore subject.” She squeezed his hand once. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do,” he affirmed. “I want you to know. My father is a war lord. Or was a war lord, until the day I escorted you to the Court of Nightmares.”</p><p> </p><p>Several seconds of silence passed as Carina took in the weight of his words. “Roban is your father.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately. Cassian has suspected him a traitor for decades, but never found any proof. When Roban insisted on introducing us and encouraged him to take me back to Velaris, I think Cassian assumed that he was attempting to infiltrate the royal family. Your family.” Bryce shifted his body to face away from hers. “My father did ask me to spy for him. It was a plan to infiltrate Velaris and find your parents’ weaknesses. And I swear to you, I never sent him any information. I haven’t exchanged a word with him since I left.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s…better than the alternative, I guess,” she offered, her thoughts too scrambled to form a proper response. Her first instinct was to comfort, to soothe him with words letting him know that <em>of course </em>she wouldn’t hold his father’s mistakes against him.</p><p> </p><p>Her second thought slammed into her like a brick wall. Carina had promised herself that she would never put anything before the Night Court, before the million ideas and dreams she had for a better world. After decades of trying to understand and improve Illyria, she could understand why some leaders wanted to keep their independence, but the rebels had a nasty habit of violent bigotry that she couldn’t overlook. Roban most likely supported wing-cutting, keeping bastards illiterate, limiting travel, and all the other regressive demands his peers had made of her parents.</p><p> </p><p>And he was Bryce’s father. The Cauldron could go fuck itself.</p><p> </p><p>“Carina?” Bryce prodded nervously, cutting through the silence. “Please say something. Or I can leave.”</p><p> </p><p>She sighed. “Don’t leave. I’m rationalizing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rationalizing?” he echoed.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think Cassian thought you would spy on all of us,” Carina began. “He would never have let you into Velaris, he certainly wouldn’t have let you advance or have access to his family, if he ever deemed you unsafe.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce shrugged. “He’s an optimist with a soft spot for angry, bitter bastards. If I seem too distant or too close to anyone, Cassian starts watching me closely and figuring out my intentions. Like sending Reyna and Odis to your room when we left his office.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina groaned, throwing her head back against the headboard. “Of course. And throwing us in trainings together whenever we avoided each other. He’s really not that good at manipulating people.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t trust me,” Bryce reassured. “Would it make a difference to you, though? If he never truly suspected I would work with my father?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe? I’m not sure,” Carina confessed. “I mean, he’s your <em>father. </em>If our theory is correct and Roban is working with Keir, then we have to move against him.” <em>We have to kill him, </em>the dark and twisted part of her brain added. “I can’t ask you to be involved with that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. Can’t have the traitor’s son potentially ruining the plan,” Bryce commented drily.</p><p> </p><p>Her gaze snapped to his side profile, noticing the tightness in his jaw. “That’s not what I meant at all!” she insisted. “Even if you wouldn’t ever speak to him again, ever consider taking his side, I wouldn’t ask you to betray him so directly. And that would require you continuing to work under Cassian longer which creates a strange power dynamic, so I couldn’t ask you—"</p><p> </p><p>“You could.” He finally turned to face her, finally met her gaze. “You could ask me to choose between anyone and you, and I would only ever make one choice.”</p><p> </p><p>The courage of his conviction took her breath away. She so desperately wanted to ask him to put her first, let him prove that he would choose her over anything.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t do that, Bryce,” Carina repeated. “I won’t make you feel like you have to prove yourself or have to follow my family’s commands. I trust you.”</p><p> </p><p>His entire body relaxed at her statement, her words erasing some of the tension, but he didn’t back down.</p><p> </p><p>“Cassian already ordered me to find him. I planned to leave yesterday, before you invited me on this trip.” Bryce held her gaze. “Even if he hadn’t, I need to do this anyway. So I’ll head to Snowshoe tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Ordered. Because her uncle was his General, her parents his royalty. She could change Cassian’s mind, but that would only emphasize the imbalance between them and turn her into some controlling asshole before the relationship truly began.</p><p> </p><p>It still hurt like a bitch.</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t sound like you’re choosing me.” Carina forced herself to stay calm. “You have a duty and that’s what’s important right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Carina—”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head. “I’ll stay out of your mission. I trust you and Cassian to handle Roban, I really do, so I won’t be a distraction or a hindrance.” Turning away from him, Carina pushed herself off the bed. “I hope you find me after. If you are ready to choose me over an ideal.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you asking me to quit?” Bryce demanded, also standing up. “Because I would. I will!” She must have looked hesitant, because he added, “I don’t know what to say to convince you that I want to explore this bond with you more than anything. I just can’t let my father continue hurting people.”</p><p> </p><p>“I believe you, I do,” Carina reiterated. “We aren’t ready for this. I can’t explain to you how I’m feeling because I don’t even know myself, and you have this burning desire to go after your father, and it’s all too much, too fast.”</p><p> </p><p>She hoped her words didn’t sound like a rejection. Bryce had come closer than anyone to breaking down her barriers and ending her self-imposed isolation from love, which scared the shit out of her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll never forgive myself if I demand you pick me over yourself,” Carina continued. “I’m not making any sense, I know, but I do want you to pick me. Without the ultimatum.”</p><p> </p><p>“You remain the most confusing person I’ve ever met.” He crossed his arms, but she thankfully noticed no anger on his face. “I said I wouldn’t walk away from you again. That’s my choice, no ultimatum needed.”</p><p> </p><p>She smiled, despite herself. “You aren’t walking away from me. We’re…agreeing to disagree for a little bit. Bryce, go find him. I shouldn’t tell you what to do, especially not when it comes to your family. We have all the time in the world to figure out what comes next.”</p><p> </p><p>“Promise?” His question, the same one she had asked last night.</p><p> </p><p>“Promise. And if it makes you feel better, I’ll be the one to walk away right now.”</p><p> </p><p>He laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, this is your room. I’ll leave.”</p><p> </p><p>She stretched out her wings, pleased to watch his eyes trace the lines of the flesh carefully. “I need a flight before I go to sleep. Stay here and do something creepy, like smell my pillows.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are a menace,” he groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“And still, you’re obsessed with me.” She made it through the doorway when he stopped her.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait—secret for a secret. Tell me something I don’t know about you.” Bryce stepped out into the common room. “Anything really, doesn’t have to be as intense as mine was.”</p><p> </p><p>The small, broken part of her piped up, one painful memory pushing to the surface. He would need to know about her romantic past, one day, but she could barely think about the heartbreak, nonetheless discus it.</p><p> </p><p>“The happiest I’ve ever been was the 10 months I spent in a war camp,” she whispered instead, remembering the best parts of that chaotic chapter of her life. “I think my parents would cry if I admitted it. Officially, I was in Crater Lake to implement the new economic structure, with individual financial freedoms, but unofficially I was banned from Velaris until my ‘overall attitude improved.’” Carina included physical air quotes for the last phrase, using her mother’s exact words. “I was a brat back then. Anyways, I had an amazing group of friends and I’ve never felt more comfortable and understood.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce smiled at her tangible nostalgia. “I can’t picture you in a war camp at all.”</p><p> </p><p>She sighed. “Well, this one did have an enchanted townhouse and relatively liberal leadership. I was still completely spoiled.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll have to take me someday,” Bryce laughed. “Enchanted townhouse sounds much better than my camp experiences.”</p><p> </p><p>They stood across from each other in silence for a moment, drinking in the moment. The last second of peace, before they were both launched back into the conflict of the Night Court. If Bryce and Cassian couldn’t stop Roban from helping Keir with his treacherous plans, Carina knew a civil war might be unavoidable.</p><p> </p><p>“I will,” Carina agreed, as if having a plan for the future might make them both feel better. She launched herself into the air, diving down to a balcony on the fourth floor that she knew could take her out to the skies.</p><p> </p><p>The wind caressed her cheeks and ruffled her hair. She closed her eyes and just flew, letting her instincts guide her to anywhere. The quiet night pulled her in one direction, towards a familiar scent. She landed a few minutes later and nodded to the figure sitting beside one of Thesan’s favorite ponds.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t remember inviting you here,” Eris snarked as she sat down beside him. “Did the plan change?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope.” Carina absentmindedly picked at the grass next to her. “I was out flying and ran across your scent. Don’t worry, I checked, no one else is around.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris sighed and leaned backwards on his elbows. “I suspect you’re about to push this whole friendship thing again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you want someone to talk to?” Carina asked. “I doubt you have anyone else who understands your situation in the same way I do.”</p><p> </p><p>He laughed without humor. “Oh, do you have grand plans to murder Rhysand? I would love to help you with that.”</p><p> </p><p>She threw a chunk of grass at his face. “Rude. Are you covering up your nerves and anxiety with jokes?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it.” Eris dropped his arms, laying all the way down on the grass.</p><p> </p><p>“Fair enough. Have you ever been in love?” She hadn’t meant to blurt it out, but she realized Eris might understand her hesitations and thoughts more than anyone else.</p><p> </p><p>He groaned and she threw more grass at him. “Where did <em>that </em>come from? Did a certain dark-haired, winged male finally confess his undying affections?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not that it’s any of your business,” Carina huffed. “But I don’t know if I could do it. Balance a relationship and being High Lady. Not letting anyone down. Managing a power dynamic. Taking care of children, holy fuck—”</p><p> </p><p>Eris grabbed her wrist. “Cauldron, breathe for a second.” She inhaled deeply, then let it all out. “Good. First, I have absolutely no clue why you would come to me for advice when you have several mated, married couples in your family. Second, you can’t spend your time worrying about what someone else might feel or think or do. Bryce – or whoever it is, don’t give me that look – clearly knows you’ll be High Lady one day and can make their own choices.”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew you could be helpful,” Carina smiled, shaking the tension out of her shoulders. “I just can’t go to my parents about this. I hate saying it, but the beginning of their relationship seems…not fantastic to me. I know they’re happy now, and obviously I’m thrilled to have been born, but I would really rather not deal with a five-hundred-year age gap or horrible communication.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris rolled his eyes. “My father would have had you murdered for blasphemy seven times over.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that why you won’t tell me about your romantic experiences?” she teased. He winced. “Wait, is that actually the reason?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t date.” He put so much malicious in the word that Carina almost laughed. “The Vanserras have a nasty history of using lovers against each other. Lucien left for Spring after my brothers murdered his lover in front of him.”</p><p> </p><p>She no longer felt like laughing.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you not to come to me for advice,” Eris muttered darkly, looking up at the stars. “I haven’t loved in a very long time and probably won’t ever again.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina joined him on the ground. “I refuse to believe that. Aren’t you taking the throne to create a better world? That should include yourself, too.”</p><p> </p><p>“If the threat was gone…” Eris trailed off, lost in his own head. “I still don’t know if I could bring someone into my life. Most of Prythian still hates me.”</p><p> </p><p>The familiar constellations floated above her, bringing her some small semblance of comfort. “You just told me not to worry about other people’s actions. Take your own damn advice,” she scolded.</p><p> </p><p>“I have so much more to worry about than you,” he retorted. “What’s holding you back?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I ever moved on from my last partner.” Carina smacked her hand over her mouth. “I really don’t know where that came from. Fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris groaned again, rubbing his hands over his face. “Oh, so we’re really having this conversation, okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hush, I’m having a revelation here.” Carina stared at the sky as her emotional lockbox opened up, pouring old memories and angst into her. “I thought I would just, you know, move on after a certain amount of time.”</p><p> </p><p>“You might as well be an adolescent,” Eris complained. “Carina, you can’t just manifest closure. Have you had a relationship since whoever this was?”</p><p> </p><p>“Kenji,” she replied automatically. “And no, nothing besides a few month-long flings. Never anyone in the Night Court. Oh wow. I don’t know why I thought repressing this would help me at all.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris leaned over to look at her. “How does someone surrounded by healthy relationships end up so emotionally unaware?”</p><p> </p><p>She smacked his arm. “Stop insulting me! I’m exhausted and uncovering decades worth of baggage.”</p><p> </p><p>He smacked her back. They quieted, choosing to look at the stars while individually mulling over their conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Before the sun could begin its rise, Carina stood and shook the dirt off her wings. She had a foreign coup to support, an internal conflict to prevent, and a mate to figure out.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll send you a message as soon as I get back to Velaris.” She reached a hand down to help Eris up. “Are you ready for this? No one would blame you for needing more time.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he insisted. “I want this over with.</p><p> </p><p>“Fantastic. We can’t give Mor too much time to figure out I’ll be wearing the other one.” Carina couldn’t risk taking off the bracelet and Eris attacking without warning, but she also couldn’t keep her wrist suspiciously covered for more than a couple days.</p><p> </p><p>Eris shook his head in disbelief. “I honestly can’t believe I trust you to do this.”</p><p> </p><p>“See? This whole friendship thing is working,” Carina cackled, shooting off into the air.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TWO WHOLE WEEKS I'M SORRY!!! Ok but good news! I'll be back to updating Your Eyes Whispered woohoo!!!! I honestly missed that story so much and now I feel like I'm in a good place to continue.</p><p>So um evermore came out and that took up a lot of my time. Also, I reread ToG (I forgot how long it is holy shit) and procrastinated writing. I feel like I didn't end this chapter super well, but wanted to put something out there ASAP!</p><p>I am not Christian, but I do get time off for Xmas so hopefully another update on both stories will come this week. Comments keep me GOING, so pls let me know what you think of this chapter :) (or just give me reading recs).</p><p>Happy almost holidays &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Gaveon, Carina, your parents are waiting upstairs.” Cassian greeted his niece and nephew without preamble as they swept through the doors of the river estate. “Bryce, with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina’s head hurt. After less than an hour of sleep, a rushed departure from the Day Court, and enduring Bryce’s meaningful looks all morning, she wanted nothing more than to lock herself in her bedroom for several hours.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce shifted his gaze to his commander. “Where are we going?”</p><p> </p><p>“North. We have new information on Roban.” Cassian’s face turned grim. “It’s time for a hunt.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina froze, halfway up the staircase. It was too soon, there was too much unresolved for Bryce to embark on this mission. She opened her mouth, unable to stay silent but unsure of what she could possibly say.</p><p> </p><p>Gaveon grabbed her elbow before she could speak. <em>Keep walking. </em>He shoved the words passed her mental barriers, propelling her forward. Cassian led Bryce out the door, their wings flapping in unison a heartbeat later.</p><p> </p><p>“Gaveon I—”</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on, but now isn’t the time. Focus.” The gravity of the situation tampered his normally jovial demeanor.</p><p> </p><p>Carina took the last few steps down the hallway to pull herself together. This sliver of emotion would only be a weakness over the next few hours. <em>Act like the fucking Heir, not some pitiful widow. </em>Bryce would have to manage his own situation and fight his own battles.</p><p> </p><p>She shoved the door to the lounging room open with a gust of wind, letting out just enough magic to calm her fraying nerves. Her parents jumped up to greet them, Mor and Azriel remaining in their seats.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you get them?” Leaning into her father’s hug, Carina locked eyes with Mor. The blonde merely smirked, gesturing to the two thick black armlets that sat on the table in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>Rhysand eyed the bracelets warily. “They certainly feel powerful. And stink of Keir.”</p><p> </p><p>“His wards and protections presented no challenge for us,” Azriel stated. “They should be completely safe to use, after Amren finished cleaning them herself.” The demon could break almost any curse on any object, a trait mostly used to acquire shiny jewels.</p><p> </p><p>Carina sat in the chair next to Mor, leaning over to grab one of them. It felt considerably heavier, more like a manacle than a piece of jewelry. “I’ll let Eris know. He’s eager to get this entire mess over with as soon as possible.”</p><p> </p><p>Feyre frowned, leaning against the wall. “It doesn’t feel right, simply handing them over. What’s his plan? How do we know he won’t do something nefarious?”</p><p> </p><p>“We talked last night,” Carina explained, noticing Gaveon looked up at the statement. “His mother has agreed to wear the other, far away from the palace. The bracelets have to be put on consensually, so Eris would have a difficult time tricking us in any way.”</p><p> </p><p>She opened her mind slightly, projecting an image of the conversation in the woods to her parents. She showed them Eris agreeing to the plan and confirming his mother’s part in it.</p><p> </p><p>She showed them a lie.</p><p> </p><p>But like any good untruth, it had enough truth in it to be convincing. Her mother and father shared a brief, silent conversation before nodding.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, darling, for how well you’ve handled this,” Rhys complimented. “You’ve been nothing but committed and resourceful, and we…trust you to finish the task.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina swallowed the wave of pride and shame that rose in her throat, warring emotions at the warmth in her father’s words and the cold guilt that came from her deception. “Thank you. I will see Eris on the throne.”</p><p> </p><p>She reached into her pocket and pulled out the trusty piece of parchment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ready when you are.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“There’s one more thing.” Feyre cleared her throat, nodding to the spymaster. “Azriel has news.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cassian’s departure. While Mor broke into her parents’ chambers, my shadows intercepted a messenger leaving the city,” Azriel explained. “He carried an encrypted letter that revealed specific information about Keir’s alliance with a war lord.”</p><p> </p><p>“Roban,” Carina muttered. At everyone’s surprise, she added: “Cassian told me his name. After Bryce scented him on Toren.”</p><p> </p><p>Her uncle nodded. “The letter did not include an exact location, but enough for them to begin their search. As soon as you return, we’ll also leave for the mountains and start in a different camp. Myself, Feyre, Carina, and two of my employees.”</p><p> </p><p>Spies. Azriel employed spies.</p><p> </p><p>Her head pounded harder at the thought of the long flight. Somehow, Carina would have to sneak in a nap. Unfortunately, the parchment glowed right as she walked out of the room, everyone heading off into different directions to prepare.</p><p> </p><p><em>The border in ten minutes</em>. He hadn’t returned to the Autumn Court yet so they could meet on neutral territory.</p><p> </p><p>Gaveon glanced over her shoulder to read Eris’ message. “I’m coming with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Carina objected. No one could accompany her and witness the bracelet swap. “He doesn’t trust anyone else. I’ll hand him the damn things and be back immediately.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re exhausted,” Gaveon countered, following closely as she strode down the hallway to her former bedroom. Luckily, she kept some clothing and toiletries at the river estate, giving her a chance to wash her face before she winnowed. “Let someone accompany you.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina spun on her heel. “I won’t cause unnecessary tension or give Eris a reason to back out. Worry about how I’ll make it to Illyria later, not a short jump to the Day Court border.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where were you last night?” he demanded.</p><p> </p><p>She read the tension in his body and knew Gaveon wanted an argument. He’d probably been waiting to yell at her, for whatever shitty reason, since he noticed her absence. Fine.</p><p> </p><p>“You managed to drag yourself away from your hopeless romantics for five minutes? I’m impressed.” Carina retorted. “Or maybe Litus tired of you. Either way, none of your business.”</p><p> </p><p>She stalked over to the bathroom sink, splashing cold water on her face. Her headache persisted; her temper short.</p><p> </p><p>Gaveon kept pushing. “Did you and Bryce get into another fight? He nearly bit my face off when I asked him about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe,” Carina seethed. “Because it’s none of your damn business. Say what you want to say or leave.”</p><p> </p><p>He rubbed his brow, letting out a deep exhale. “I’m worried you’re pushing everyone away: our parents, me, Bryce. You don’t have to handle everything yourself.” His tone softened. “You can’t tell me not to worry when the only person you seem to talk to is <em>Eris.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Two minutes until she’d have to winnow. “Gavy,” Carina sighed, forcing herself to calm down. “I’ve let you, all of you, help me. I promise, it’s just the best course of action to handle Eris on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just don’t want you to lose yourself again,” Gaveon admitted. “After…well, after Crater Lake, you shut us all out. And pushed yourself to your limits.” He smiled lightly, offering a small olive branch. “I can’t help but worry.”</p><p> </p><p>Damn him for making a good point. Carina hated to think about that time period, where her broken heart and anxiety had pushed her to instability. She had worked hard and played harder, travelling across Prythian and using her power uncontrollably until she suffered a physical breakdown. Her parents had wanted to remove her from any royal work indefinitely, but Gaveon had stood by her side and promised to watch over her if she could continue.</p><p> </p><p>Carina met his gaze. “It’s not like that. Pinky promise.” Intertwining their smallest fingers, she smiled back. “I’ll be back in ten minutes and I’ll make Feyre winnow me to Illyria. I’ll even demand a two-hour nap when we arrive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Be a huge brat if you need to,” Gaveon smirked. He slid one arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a quick embrace. “It’s what you’re best at.”</p><p> </p><p>She pushed him off. “Don’t be snarky. I’m running late.” Carina grabbed one of her warmest cloaks. “I’ll see you soon and fill you in on all my bratty adventures.”</p><p> </p><p>With a blink, her bedroom vanished and the woods appeared. Eris leaned against a tree, one step past the Night Court boundary.</p><p> </p><p>“Cutting it close, aren’t we?” he drawled. “I only have a few minutes to spare.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina stepped over the invisible line. “This should only take seconds.” She pulled the bracelets out of her cloak and handed him one. “Place that on my wrist, I’ll place mine on yours. Quick blood transfer and then we head our separate ways.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris raised an eyebrow. “If you steal my power—”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, yes, I know, you’ll hate me forever and exact some horrible revenge,” Carina interrupted. “Let’s get to it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be dead. So I’d really prefer if you didn’t,” Eris continued. He held out his right hand and pushed his sleeve above the elbow.</p><p> </p><p>Carina slid the ring around his hand. It stretched and shrank, loose enough to fit, but too tight to remove. “I won’t betray you. I only go through this much trouble for my friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris mimicked her actions. The bracelet felt both warm and cold, settling on her skin like a living creature. She could feel it poking at her, testing out her magic. With a flick of his wrist, Eris slashed a shallow cut on each of their palms.</p><p> </p><p>“No going back now.” He held up his palm. “Any cold feet?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Carina replied, closing the gap and letting their bloody hands meet. It felt like the dark, twisted sibling of her pinky promise with Gaveon.</p><p> </p><p>A rush of heat flew over her body, as if she stood in front of a blazing bonfire. Eris’ magic. She couldn’t actually access his unique abilities, but she could feel the strength of them pulsing from her wrist.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes widened. “It worked,” he murmured, mostly to himself. “I’ll be damned.”</p><p> </p><p>Releasing their hands, Carina stepped back into her territory. “Keep your arm and hand covered. You don’t have to send word when you’re to fight him, but a warning could give me time to find some privacy.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris nodded. “I’ll do my best, but I doubt I’ll find time to write you.” He wiped the blood of his palm, the wound already stitching up. “I’ll try to use as little as possible. If I begin to harm you in anyway, take some of my power so I know to stop.”</p><p> </p><p>“You won’t,” Carina reassured. “I can handle some discomfort if it means Beron is dead.”</p><p> </p><p>Eris looked her over. “Go get some rest. I won’t have a chance until after dinner and you seem to be five seconds from falling unconscious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why do all the males in my life demand I take a nap?” Carina huffed. “Fine. Good luck.” She could tell Eris didn’t want some big, emotional goodbye. Indeed, he winnowed away without further comment. Carina closed her eyes and willed herself back home.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The Illyrian sunset always took Carina’s breath away, especially after she hadn’t seen it for months. Waking up in an unfamiliar bed, she rolled over to watch the light dip behind the mountain range, colors brighter than the Autumn Court.</p><p> </p><p>Feyre had taken one look at her fatigued daughter and insisted Carina not winnow herself. Disguising the smell and feel of the bracelet had required little effort, considering that they all wore several layers to ward off the cold. As soon as Azriel opened the door to one of her father’s secret cabins, Carina bolted for the nearest bed and passed out for several hours.</p><p> </p><p>As the last golden rays turned into a deep navy night, she changed into warm leathers, making sure to keep her wrist completely covered. Eris hadn’t started his attack yet. She started to feel anxious as she walked downstairs, and her brain imagined every detail that could go wrong with their plan.</p><p> </p><p>“Sleep well?” Feyre asked as Carina joined her in the small living room. “There’s some food in the kitchen if you need.”</p><p> </p><p>She smiled at her mother, willing her heart rate to slow down. “I’m good for now, thank you. Where’s Azriel?”</p><p> </p><p>Feyre put down the book she had been reading. “He took Briar and Kassim into town, to investigate some tavern for any signs of the rebels. As soon as they get back, we’ll all make a plan for the night and begin our search.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is there any reason to suspect anyone here?” Carina sifted through her memories for the name of the small camp. Bone something? “We can’t expect to investigate every village in Illyria”</p><p> </p><p>“Roban stayed here for a bit after leaving Snowshoe,” Feyre explained. “He used a different name, but we’ve found his scent on the banks of Bone Creek.”</p><p> </p><p> She’d been close. The small stream that gave the camp its name had allegedly carried the bones of mythical warriors to the afterlife. Carina had seen the creek on the flight in and couldn’t imagine it had enough size or power to carry anything very far.</p><p> </p><p>Azriel and Briar, a Fae almost as short as Amren, appeared several minutes later as Carina helped herself to some bread.</p><p> </p><p>“We found two males who hosted Roban during his visit here four years ago,” Azriel began, shouldering off his coat and placing it over a chair. “Kassim is escorting them back to Velaris, where we can question them further.”</p><p> </p><p>Feyre nodded. “Rhys sent me a message a moment ago. He’ll send us any information from their memories to help track down the rest of their friends.” Her mouth twisted into a grimace on the last word, no doubt thinking of many other words for the traitors in their midst.</p><p> </p><p>Carina opened her mouth to ask more questions about Azriel’s mission, but a sharp pain from her wrist snapped it shut. The bracelet burned for a moment, then stopped abruptly.</p><p> </p><p>Eris had begun his fight.</p><p> </p><p>It took all of her willpower and court training to keep her face impassive, her body calm. After the initial ache, the bracelet had started pulsing unevenly, as if mimicking Eris’ attacks and bursts of power. He could be handling guards, sneaking into Beron’s chambers, or even in the middle of fighting his father for all Carina knew.</p><p> </p><p>“—hopefully they’ll arrive soon,” Feyre responded to something Azriel just said. Carina fought the urge to grasp her wrist and forced her focus back to the conversation. “We’ll need to regroup as soon as possible.”</p><p> </p><p>Azriel hummed in agreement. “Cassian will be pissed. He’s always hated Zevi’im.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina started at the mention of the vicious, lupine species that haunted some of the northern mountains. Immediatley, her mind conjured up images of Cassian and Bryce injured and bleeding at their claws.</p><p> </p><p>“Are they alright?” she demanded, frustrated at herself for missing this part of the conversation. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I just said that,” Feyre retorted. At her daughter’s obvious panic, she softened her tone. “The information from Toren led them directly into a trap, but they’re both fine and coming to meet us. Cassian sent word through your father.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll have to think of a way to draw Roban out,” Azriel added. “If they all know we’re tracking him, the Court of Nightmares probably found a way to conceal him fully.” He rubbed his hands together, siphons flickering softly. “Briar, go back to the tavern and try to start some rumors. Maybe we can spur someone into doing something reckless.”</p><p> </p><p>The female nodded silently and vanished out the front door. Carina watched her trek through the inches of snow, her small form blending into the shadows.</p><p> </p><p>The bracelet pulsed once more, stronger than anytime before, and spots danced in Carina’s vision. She could actually feel her power draining through the link, sucking up her energy as well. <em>Only a few more minutes, </em>she thought, hoping against hope that Eris wouldn’t take too long or use up all her strength and still fail.</p><p> </p><p>“Carina?” Azriel prompted. Had he asked her a question? Did he notice her headache and uneven breath?</p><p> </p><p>She inhaled deeply. “Sorry, I keep losing focus.” To appease her concerned uncle and mother, she faked a smile. “Remind me not to pull an all-nighter the next time we have a vital mission.” Stars danced beneath her eyelids every time she blinked, which probably wasn’t a great sign.</p><p> </p><p>“They’ll be here soon,” Feyre comforted, reaching over to rub Carina’s shoulders gently. She didn’t remember sitting down next to her mother but leaned into the touch nonetheless. “Maybe you should stay here, at least until you can get a full night’s rest.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Carina insisted. Cauldron damn him, Eris was draining her power like there was no tomorrow. The bracelet seemed to get heavier each minute, as if it stole some power each time the prince used more of it.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding away from her mother’s hands, she stood up. “I’m going to grab more food. Can I get either of you anything?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d take a glass of water.” Azriel leaned back in his chair, eyeing her with a trained suspicion. She supposed her odd behavior wouldn’t get past the Spymaster.</p><p> </p><p>In the kitchen, Carina almost couldn’t stop a hiss from escaping at a particularly bad attack. She braced her arms against the counter, leaning her head against the cool glass of the window above. <em>End it, you prick, </em>she yelled silently. The bracelet cooled and quieted after that thought, giving her a moment’s respite.</p><p> </p><p>She took advantage of the lull, however short it would be, to pour herself a bowl of soup and grab a glass of water for Azriel. Her insides twisted with worry, for her mate and for her friend, as she prayed to the Mother for their safety. Carina hadn’t dared explore the tether between her and Bryce yet, too afraid of what it might unleash, but she searched for it now, hoping to sense him nearby. She felt his approach a moment before she heard wings flapping outside and let out a relieved exhale. At least one of her males had made it to safety.</p><p> </p><p>She spun on her heel, balancing the bowl and glass carefully, eager to greet Cassian and Bryce as soon as they entered the house.</p><p> </p><p>The next pulse struck her like lightening. Fire ripped through her body, consuming all of her physical and mental strength. Her head <em>hurt, </em>aching worse than any migraine or concussion. A wave of blackness hit her next.</p><p> </p><p>“CARINA!” someone shouted. The voice sounded hazy and distant.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t remember fainting, but she awoke on the floor of the kitchen, shards of glass and porcelain cutting her hands. Bryce kneeled next to her; his face wild with panic.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he demanded, scanning her body for any signs of harm. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Feyre leaned over her other side. “Are you hurt? Darling, say something.” Her tone was calmer than Bryce’s, but her eyes betrayed her internal terror.</p><p> </p><p>Azriel sucked in a breath. “Her wrist. It’s coming from her left wrist.” He stared at her in disbelief. “You’re wearing the bracelet.”</p><p> </p><p>Fuck. Her shield must have lifted during her blackout. Carina lifted herself onto her elbows. Bryce grabbed her waist immediately, helping her to sit upright.</p><p> </p><p>Before she could stop him, he pushed her sleeve back. “What the hell is this?” he growled.</p><p> </p><p>She avoided his gaze, locking eyes with her mother instead. “Eris would have never allowed his mother to wear it. You told me to see this coup through and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Take it off,” Cassian commanded, crossing his arms and glaring at her. “That fucking prick won’t take another drop of your power.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” she snarled. “I will not take it off, and none of you can. I won’t leave him to his death.”</p><p> </p><p>Feyre shook her head incredulously. “How could you lie to us like this? And put yourself in danger?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not in danger,” Carina insisted. “I’ll be drained after this, maybe even for a few days, but Eris is actually fighting for his life right now.” The pulses had weakened during the argument, allowing Carina to breathe evenly. “I think it’s almost over. One way or another.”</p><p> </p><p>She could feel the tension coming off all of them. Bryce’s hand lingered against her waist, as if she might faint again.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” he said softly. She turned to face him. Although he still looked angry, his expression looked much calmer than before. “Let me help you to the couch.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina grasped his shoulder tightly as they stood together. Azriel and Cassian parted, letting them through the small hallway. She could hear the three adults begin to have a heated, whispered discussion, but couldn’t find any energy to care.</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be over soon,” she promised, letting Bryce support most of her weight. “You know I had to do this.”</p><p> </p><p>He snorted. “I know you think you had to do it. And you chose secrecy over trusting one of us to help you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would you have let me?” Carina flopped on the cushions.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t <em>let </em>you do anything,” Bryce rebutted. “You should make your own decisions, but you can’t do everything on your own. How bad is it right now?”</p><p> </p><p>Carina closed her eyes. The pain had almost disappeared, leaving exhaustion in its wake. “Not bad. Either Eris isn’t attacking anymore or—”. She couldn’t finish the thought.</p><p> </p><p>They sat in silence for a few minutes. Some of her magic flowed back into her veins, giving her enough energy to summon the piece of parchment from her room upstairs. Bryce watched it float towards them, reaching out to grab it.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing yet,” he reported, handing the blank paper over to her.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, after several more torturous minutes, the parchment glowed. Carina had never jumped up so quickly, reading the sentence three times before her heart rate calmed again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It’s done. Autumn has a new king and I owe you an unpayable debt. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Thank the Cauldron,” she praised, smiling for the first time that day. She turned to share the news with Bryce, but her mother’s entrance interrupted her.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s over?” Feyre guessed, noticing the obvious relief. Carina nodded. “Good. You’re leaving Bone Creek in the next hour.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina gaped. “What? You’re kicking me off the mission?”</p><p> </p><p>“You just went through a painful and exhausting ordeal,” Feyre argued. “And lied to me about it. So yes, I’m sending you somewhere to recover for a bit, but you can still help us from Crater Lake.”</p><p> </p><p>“Crater Lake?” Carina repeated, her gut twisting and emotions reeling. The place filled with more memories than anywhere else in Prythian.</p><p> </p><p>Azriel appeared behind his High Lady. “It’s the nearest camp where we can assure your safety and explain your visit without any suspicion. Since you have friends there, no one will speculate.” Glancing at Feyre, he continued. “Bryce will accompany you. Perhaps…it’s possible your combined presence may draw some of our targets out of hiding.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina took a moment to compose herself. She scrawled out a reply to Eris, aware of everyone’s eyes on her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I am beyond relieved to hear it. I’ll be unavailable for a bit, but I’ll come see you as soon as I can. Long live the High Lord. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” She glanced over at Bryce. “I did promise I would take you to an enchanted townhouse.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce looked like he wanted to argue, but kept his words calm. “Ready whenever you are.”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>As soon as she could walk up the steps without help, Carina went to retrieve her bag of clothing. Not even six hours after arriving in one camp and she was already heading to another.</p><p> </p><p>Mother above, Feyre had no idea what awaited her in Crater Lake. Her parents had some knowledge of her prior stay, that she had spent the time making an incredible group of friends and had experienced some sort of emotional turmoil. Only Gaveon knew that Carina had suffered her first heartbreak, a pain that had spurred her into overworking herself for months after.</p><p> </p><p>Kenji. The only male she’d ever slept with in the Night Court. Carina had referred to him as a fling when questioned by Stella and their other friends, excluding the fact that they’d spent almost eight of the ten months together. The others had visited her in Velaris and met her family, but she hadn’t seen her former lover since. Carina could’ve laughed at the irony, running into him again only days after finding her mate and more confused than ever.</p><p> </p><p>Still, she couldn’t deny the happiness that came with seeing Teri, Tanya, and Tori again. The trio of T-names, along with some of their strange acquaintances, had helped shape Crater Lake into a safe haven for females, Illyrians with disabilities, and orphans.</p><p> </p><p>A knock dragged her out of her thoughts. “Almost ready?” Bryce asked, balancing against the doorframe.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope,” Carina joked weakly. “Are we flying?” She didn’t have enough strength to winnow both of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Azriel and Feyre will drop us off,” he explained. “I know we left things in a strange place, so I want you to know that I don’t expect anything out of this trip.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina tossed her bag over one shoulder. “We’ll find your father. That’s the only expectation I have.”</p><p> </p><p>She could see the resolved form in his expression, his jaw tightening. “I won’t let him anywhere near you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please,” Carina teased, some warmth flowing into her body. “As if he could handle either of us separately or both of us together.” She grabbed his hand. “I was wrong last night. I shouldn’t have let you go after him alone, without knowing I am behind you every step of the way. We’ll do this together.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I can handle that,” Bryce replied, a genuine smile dancing on his face. “Let’s kick this scum out of your Court.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. falling feels like flying til the bone crush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AH this story is moving slower than I wanted it to. I'd hoped we be at the final few chapters, getting to some action and some ~love~, but I had to go into more background stuff than I anticipated. I think we'll end up with about 3-4 more chapters lol who knows.</p><p>Outside of this fic, I read a Darker Shade of Magic and didn't like it :/ My current favorite song on evermore is gold rush. I am literally always taking book recs and would love to hear your swiftie opinions &lt;3</p><p>Wishing everyone a safe, healthy, and fun New Year's! We aren't out of this pandemic yet, so stay home and keep your circles small y'all. Vaccines have only been given to like 5 people, 2021 isn't some magical end to this whole mess.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cold wind whipped her face, tangling her hair, the moment Carina stepped away from her mother. Grimacing against the cold, Carina cursed at her temporary inability to maintain a proper shield. Her magic probably wouldn’t fully recover for another day, at least.</p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t push yourself,” Feyre begged. She clearly didn’t want to leave Carina and Bryce alone, even though Crater Lake was easily the safest camp for them to stay at. “Give yourself enough time to recover before running into a fight, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Carina grinned at her mother’s worry. “I won’t start any fights I can’t win. I promise.” Bryce stepped out of Azriel’s shadow to come stand next to her. “Besides, he’s too much of a worrywart to let me do anything stupid.”</p><p> </p><p>Feyre sighed. “I’ll see you in a few days. Send word if you need anything.” The Shadowsinger and the High Lady vanished in synchronization.</p><p> </p><p>“Shall we?” Bryce offered his arm in mock chivalry. “If you aren’t going to warm us up, please lead the way to some sort of shelter.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina pouted. “Poor Illyrian baby. Aren’t you used to the cold?” With a sharp exhale, she revealed her wings, the slight magic frustratingly difficult. “We have about a half mile of flying. Can we make one stop before the cabin, or will you freeze to death.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce wrinkled his nose. “Fine. But this cabin better have the hottest water and best food I’ve ever had, or else I’ll complain all night.”</p><p> </p><p>She mumbled something about spoiled males and their demands, before launching herself in the air. Despite the chill, Carina smiled at the freedom and exhilaration that came with flying. Sensing Bryce following closely, she aimed for a nearby cliff.</p><p> </p><p>“That canyon looks longer than a half-mile,” Bryce shouted over the roar of wind. “Are we flying across—CAULDRON.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina had tucked in her wings and let gravity suck her down into the canyon. Bryce’s shout echoed above her, and she smiled even wider at his dramatic reaction. Tears streamed down her face as she picked up speed, only flaring her wings out at the last hundred feet.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce landed beside her a few seconds later. “Do you delight in my shock and terror? Thanks for the warning.”</p><p> </p><p>She shrugged in response. “I never said a half-mile in which direction. Look, there’s the lake.” Indeed, a massive lake sat in the center of the canyon, surrounded by snow-covered trees and houses. She gave him a moment to take in their surroundings, before walking towards the eastern side. “The village continues around the entire thing. There are tunnels and pathways through the mountains, but those are heavily guarded and kept secret.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where are we heading?” Bryce asked, falling into step next to her.</p><p> </p><p>Carina flexed her hands, trying to bring some warmth to her fingers. “The training area. I’m hoping—I have some friends I hope to see before everyone hears of my arrival.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it safe, having the entire town know that we’re here?” Bryce chewed on his lip in worry and Carina pretended she didn’t track the movement.</p><p> </p><p>“The leadership here…they’re quite different than most Illyrians,” she explained. “One of my closest friends, Tori, her parents run Crater Lake together.” Bryce looked impressed, knowing how rare males let their wives have any power. “Her mothers.”</p><p>“That is different,” Bryce mused.</p><p> </p><p>Carina loved this place. “My father started it centuries ago, as a safe haven for orphans, widows, and Illyrians with disabilities. The canyon is impossible to climb down, and the trees provide enough coverage if anyone flies overhead. He just wanted to create a peaceful place and offered to provide all necessities, but Tori’s biological mother and her partner decided they could train warriors and manage a town as well as any war lord. So now, it’s fully operational, without relying on any outside help.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce let out a low whistle. “I can’t believe this exists. This is…” He trailed off, emotion filling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>They’d approached a large clearing, and Carina could see four small silhouettes sparring in the center.</p><p> </p><p>She pointed at a stone pillar, marking a boundary. “You can’t go any further. This area is females only.” Bryce spun his gaze around the clearing, noting the pillars that spread around in a loose circle.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you dragged me out here to stand on the sidelines and watch you,” he teased. “Don’t I get to meet any of your friends?”</p><p> </p><p>“Demanding!” Carina accused. “I’m inviting them over later tonight; it’ll only take a minute.” She strode past the pillar before he could complain again.</p><p> </p><p>Her heart pounded in happiness and anticipation as two of the figures in the clearing noticed her approach. One of the females dropped her sword and sprinted towards her.</p><p> </p><p>“Do my eyes deceive me?” Tanya gasped, coming to a stop a few feet away from Carina and placing a hand over her heart. “Is that the princess of the Night Court? Bestowing her presence on the humble Fae of Crater Lake, like the benevolent ruler she will be one day?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even know what you’re trying to say,” Carina laughed, closing the distance between them and crushing the golden-haired warrior into a tight hug. “Surprise?”</p><p> </p><p>She heard a snort and locked eyes with Tori over Tanya’s shoulder. “You love to keep us all on our toes with your surprises.”</p><p><br/>
Carina released her friend, only to embrace the other just as tightly. “I missed your dry tone and judgement more than anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” Tanya demanded, her naturally short patience already wearing thin. “You haven’t visited here in, well, ever. I assume it’s more than a social call?”</p><p> </p><p>Tori nodded in agreement, her dark corkscrew curls bouncing. “Don’t think we didn’t notice your new travel companion either. Something’s up.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina grabbed one of their hands in each of her own. “I promise I’ll give you the entire story, down to the most boring detail, soon, but I’m completely drained right now.” Tori opened her mouth to interrupt, but Carina squeezed her hand and continued. “Come by the house later. Bring the others, whoever you feel like should be there, but give me a couple hours to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“Even Kenji?” Tori pushed. She’d always been the most direct and serious of their group, never one to rely on dramatics or subtleties.</p><p> </p><p>“Only if he wants to,” Carina replied, dropping her eyes to the ground. “If he doesn’t want to see me, I won’t force him.”</p><p>Tanya giggled. “Well he’s already <em>seen </em>you.” Carina’s gaze shot back up to her face. “What? Look over there.” She extended a pale finger to the northern edge of the clearing.</p><p> </p><p>Carina spun around, so quickly she almost tripped, and groaned at the sight before her. “I have to go.”</p><p> </p><p>“See you tonight,” Tanya yelled, not bothering to hide the humor in her voice.</p><p> </p><p>Carina sent a very unseemly gesture over her shoulder, making a beeline for where three males stood talking. <em>I turn my back for five seconds and this…</em>she thought as she approached.</p><p> </p><p>Two males had approached Bryce and had engaged him in a conversation that looked about as awkward as Azriel giving a sex talk. One of them, a lanky blonde with a shit-eating grin, actually shoved on of Bryce’s shoulders in jest as Carina approached.</p><p> </p><p>“Loren,” Carina greeted as soon as she was in hearing distance. “I can’t say it’s a pleasure.”</p><p> </p><p>Her gaze slid to the other male as all three of them turned to face her. She almost stumbled at the sight of his dark-skinned face and warm hazel eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Kenji.” It took a massive effort to keep her voice from shaking. “I hate to break up this little…gathering, but we need to be on our way.”</p><p> </p><p>Loren smirked at her, making it clear he was still the same obnoxious prick as always. “See, Kenj, I told you that the princess clearly –”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t finish that sentence,” Kenji growled. He cleared his throat and turned to Bryce. “I’m sorry about, well, that.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Bryce replied, his tone tight and his body tense. Carina couldn’t imagine all the horrible things Loren might have said to rile him up, but she wasn’t taking any chances.</p><p> </p><p>Loren shoved Kenji away from him. “It won’t do you any good to play the nice male and –”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re leaving. Now,” Carina interrupted, grabbing Bryce’s arm. The clearing vanished, her power protesting at the sudden expenditure. As soon as they landed, Carina started walking quickly and keeping her eyes solidly locked on the trees in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are we now?” Bryce asked. “Or are you going to keep kidnapping me with no warning for the rest of the trip?” His tone was still too sharp for the joke to sound humorous.</p><p> </p><p>“The cabin is a quarter mile ahead. With all the wards, we can’t winnow directly to the front door.” She hoped their footsteps covered the sound of her thundering heart.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce scoffed. “About that—you shouldn’t have winnowed unnecessarily. You haven’t gotten nearly enough rest yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“What did he say to you?” Carina changed the topic abruptly. She had planned to let it go, ignore the confrontation entirely, but her nerves were completely frayed from seeing her former lover without warning.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing important.” Bryce’s wings fluttered behind him. “I didn’t understand half of it. I assume it was more of an attempt to bother Kenji than myself.”</p><p> </p><p>She spotted the roof of the cabin up ahead and almost sighed in relief. “Loren has a nasty habit of pissing of his friends and getting kicked out of camp. He’ll probably disappear for the next few weeks, letting Kenji calm down before showing up again.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know them.” He didn’t bother phrasing it as a question.</p><p> </p><p>Carina didn’t respond for a full minute. They reached the porch of the two-story abode, and she distracted herself by removing some of the locking spells carefully. Bryce didn’t speak either, waiting for her to break the silence as they entered the warm living room, an ever-lasting fire jumping in the hearth.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” She removed her coat and sat on the couch to begin unlacing her boots. “They were part of my friend group while I lived here. Tanya and Tori, the two females I met with, were as well.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce mimicked her movements, taking a seat in a large armchair across from her. “They looked familiar.”</p><p> </p><p>Kicking of her boots, Carina replied. “They visited Velaris five years ago, with our other friend Terrance, and stayed at the House with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Makes sense.”</p><p> </p><p>She hated the tension in the room, the tip-toeing around each other. Logically, she knew she’d have to tell him about Kenji at some point, but she hadn’t prepared at all for that conversation. They weren’t even in a relationship yet, so Bryce might not even want to hear anything about her past anyways.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me show you upstairs,” Carina finally said. “We can rest, shower, whatever, before the others show up.” Her brain betrayed her with rather unfortunate images at the word shower. Stupid brain.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce thankfully agreed easily, following her to the second floor. She stopped at the door at the top of the steps and gestured to the other end of the narrow hallway.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s you down there,” Carina stated. “The bathroom’s right next to it if you need….”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Bryce asked, after her sentence trailed off. “You seem off.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina rubbed her face harshly. “Yes? I’m fine, really, it’s just been a hectic few days and it’s strange being back here after so long.” Something cracked inside of her and the words kept tumbling out. “I feel like I should’ve told you more? More about me, this place, but I don’t even know where I would begin or if you would even care—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Bryce said gently. “No expectations, right? You don’t owe me an explanation for anything.”</p><p> </p><p>She turned towards her bedroom door. “That’s the thing, Bryce.” She opened it, stepping into the dark room. “I have expectations, a lot of them.”</p><p> </p><p>“What does that mean?” She could hear his heart rate speed up slightly, his breath catching. “What expectations do you have?”</p><p> </p><p>Carina whipped her head around to look at him. “What did Loren say to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Damn it, Carina,” Bryce swore. “It doesn’t matter and we’re in the middle of something else.”</p><p> </p><p>She crossed her arms. “It matters to me.”</p><p> </p><p>He narrowed his eyes. “You always have to get your way. Fine! They both showed up out of nowhere, asked me who I was and what I was doing, and then Loren made some vague comments about you. I already told you that I didn’t know what he was talking about, but Kenji got annoyed and then you appeared.”</p><p> </p><p>“What. Did. He. Say,” Carina asked through gritted teeth. “If it was about me, then I deserve to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you getting so angry with me?” Bryce demanded. “I don’t know, something about you disappearing and then coming back like nothing changed.”</p><p> </p><p>“And?” she pushed. “That wouldn’t have been enough to get all of you riled up.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce sighed. “I told him to take up any issues with you, instead of making snarky comments behind your back, and he turned to Kenji and laughed. Said, ‘she certainly has a type, doesn’t she?’ Kenji said something I couldn’t hear, and they went started arguing. I promise, that’s all I heard. Satisfied?”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Carina uncrossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. “Loren runs his mouth without thinking about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly why I thought it wasn’t a big deal,” Bryce countered, but his tone lacked any anger. “What did you mean, you have a lot of expectations?”</p><p> </p><p>Her stomach twisted. Fuck, she’d hoped he would have forgotten that little comment. “I said I was wrong, okay? I said I was wrong to push you away and I wanted to do this together, so I thought…I don’t’ know what I thought.”</p><p> </p><p>She knew exactly what she’d thought. Carina wanted him to push away their earlier fights and disagreements, to ask her again what they meant to each other. It wasn’t fair, hoping Bryce would take action when she refused to, but she wanted him to look at her like she was his mate again.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce took one step closer to her. He reached out a hand and gently brushed a strand of hair off her face.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what to do around you,” he admitted. “I have no idea where we stand, and that scares me almost as much as hunting my father.” He laughed lightly. “I clearly don’t have my priorities straight.”</p><p> </p><p>She grabbed the hand that still lingered in the air and squeezed. “Before everyone comes over tonight, I want to tell you everything. That’s what I was trying to say earlier.” Unfortunately, the last word turned into a huge yawn, too noticeable to cover up with her other hand.</p><p> </p><p>“You need to rest,” Bryce insisted. “We can talk later.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina scrunched her nose. “I’m only resting if you come with me.” She stepped backwards into the room again, pulling him with her.</p><p> </p><p>He groaned. “Carina, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just resting! I promise.” She even held out her smallest finger. “Pinky promise, I won’t try anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Bryce hesitated for a moment, looking over her shoulder at the massive bed behind her, before following her into the room. “Don’t hog the blankets.”</p><p> </p><p>She gasped in mock indignation. "I would never."</p><p> </p><p>She managed to wash her face in record time, stepping into the closet to change out of her leathers into a soft sweater. Bryce kicked off his shoes and joined her under the covers, laying on his side so his wings wouldn't crush her. </p><p> </p><p>They shared a couple breaths, just looking at each other. Slowly, Carina raised one of her fingers and traced the lines of his face. She began telling him about those ten months living at camp, how she'd learned to take her position seriously and how to listen to other people. She told him about finding the best friends she could ever ask for, a group of people who held her accountable but never doubted her for a minute. She even told him about falling in love and realizing why it wouldn't work. Carina couldn't bring herself to share any of the specific, private memories that still hurt to think about, but the rest came out easily.</p><p> </p><p>Bryce was a good listener, only asking a few questions when necessary. To his credit, he didn't even flinch when she confirmed her past relationship with Kenji.</p><p> </p><p>"What are you thinking?" she finally whispered, desperate to know.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm thinking that there's so much I don't know about you." He adjusted his head on the pillow. "And how adorable you are when you're nervous. You didn't think I'd get all territorial and possessive on him, did you?"</p><p> </p><p>Carina giggled. "No, but maybe you'll realize I have too much going on and get tired of the constant drama."</p><p> </p><p>"Go to sleep, Carina," Bryce groaned. "I'm not planning on getting tired of you any time soon."</p><p> </p><p>She grumbled a bit, but flipped onto her other side and closed her eyes. She drifted off easily, his scent surrounding her.</p>
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